Home educate?

marrbett

coinxoperated wrote: »

[/COLOR]If you have never been to school, you won't understand how awful it can be for kids who are bullied at school, will you? [/COLOR][/COLOR]Although I do not understand how awful it can be to be bullied school, I was most certainly bullied the entire way through home education!!!! Had my head dipped in toilets, regular general 'meanness', being left out of people playing etc etc. I'm sorry but if you think your child isn't going to get bullied because you home educate, its a sorry lesson to learn!

This sounds terrible- you have clearly not experienced the sort of home education my children and their friends have. I'm sorry, it seems that like schools, there is good and bad in all education provision.:(

kafkathecat

If after a while she is not settling then consider home schooling again but whatever happens consider how you are going to help her become a more confident person. At the end of the day, at some point in her life, she will likely have to participate in an environment like school for example at work. She needs to learn the unspoken rules, the hierarchy, how to cope with problems rather than avoid them.[/QUOTE]

Home ed children learn all of those things anyway, they do not grow up in a vacuum. Ds has done many clubs and societies over the years and adapted to each one because he wanted to be there.

LTP123

Regardless of my daughters nature and talking about all children, why should any of them suffer bullying? If bullying happens at clubs, its in the clubs intetests to stop it as financially it could cause them a lot of problems. Teachers aren't always around in school.

I don't think either option is perfect in all honesty. I just don't think because school is the norm she should grin and bear it.

marrbett

shellsuit wrote: »

I hope you don't mind me asking, but you mentioned GCSE's before. I know if you home school, you have to pay for them yourself, but how much are they, roughly? Not that it matters, as I'd do anything for her happiness, but it would be good just to have a rough idea

We've found a local school to be very helpful regarding exams, we pay around £65 per exam. Depends if its a GCSE or IGCSE (or old O Level!) Hth

kafkathecat

shellsuit wrote: »

I hope you don't mind me asking, but you mentioned GCSE's before. I know if you home school, you have to pay for them yourself, but how much are they, roughly? Not that it matters, as I'd do anything for her happiness, but it would be good just to have a rough idea

I am in London. I know of one centre in north London which charges around £30 per exam but it can be as much as £150 in some private schools. You do need to shop around. Not all centres do all exam boards either which can limit your choice.

cottonhead

I was concerned about my daughter starting school as she is a young one and had just turned 4. I was a very shy child and hated school and still dont like social situations. However she made friends easily and had the chance to play with things we dont have at home.Once at school they obviously have group games and school trips and plays. Things they cant do by themselves. I think its important that a child learns to function without a parent always being around and learns how to interact with other kids without an adult being there 100% of the time. They will have to interact with the world at some point. They need a little independance. You can support your child loads at home too so you wont be handing her over or loosing her. As long as you are happy with the school you choose I see no reason to be concerned. They soon settle in and even though my daughter is one of the youngest she is no way behind the older kids either socially or in her school work. I agree with some other posters that perhaps your fears are transfering to your child. Your husband is right that you cant keep her all to yourself forever. I too thought about home education as I just couldnt bear to see my baby grow up and not be involved 100% of the time but for me now I am glad I didnt do it . It does work for some but teachers go through their training for a reason. Not every parent is able to provide the standard that is required. I know if I am honest I couldnt. AS for the poster that states schools create a gang culture. Thats quite an alarmist and quite offensive thing to say in my opinion. There are some badly behaved kids in school as there are badly behaved adults in the workplace and in wider society but if you pick a good school and instill good values at home I think you should be fine.

shellsuit

coinxoperated wrote: »

She wouldn't be bullied at home, but in life, unless you plan on keeping them in the loft, they will meet bullies. In employment, in day to day life. She wouldn't be bullied by the bullies who are bullying her as she wouldn't have any contact with them, is what I meant. And when she's older I'd hope she would be able to deal with it herself, you know, as she would be an adult then, as opposed to a child, which she is now.

Agreed, but is this not down to parenting and the 'softly softly' approach. I fully agree that a child committing suicide because of bullying is horrific and should never happen. Although, surely a parent should be open and approachable should a child feel that upset they want to commit suicide? I'm not a parent myself, so I'll leave that there. I do feel that if parents educated their children to understand bullies more, it would help. So many parents seem to either be too busy to care or care too much (odd expression, obviously can't care too much, but not sure of how else to express that!). So someone isn't doing their job properly if their child can't come to them before commiting suicide? How do you educate your child on how to deal with bullies? Do you know the answer? Because ignoring them doesn't work and thumping them would only lead to my daughter getting into trouble, which neither of us want. So what is the answer as you seem to know so much? I do NOT want my daughter to feel sick with worry every morning going to school. Why should she have to? And isn't it enough that I know about it, and she's not suffering in silence? I couldn't speak to my parents about anything like that and I definitely don't want my children to not be able to talk to me about certain things.

Agreed, but finding out why she's in fear and miserable and helping her through it will likely make her wiser and stronger at the end! Is this not teaching your daughter to run away from a problem she is unable to work out how to fix? Finding out why she's miserable and in fear? Errrr, because she's being bullied, try that. Helping her through it is doing what I can to make her happy. And if that means home schooling her, that's what I'll do. You might see it as running away from the problem, but at home she would be able to get her head down and concentrate on her education, without having to see or hear the prats that aren't interested in that, so I call that a win win situation.


Although I do not understand how awful it can be to be bullied school, I was most certainly bullied the entire way through home education!!!! Had my head dipped in toilets, regular general 'meanness', being left out of people playing etc etc. I'm sorry but if you think your child isn't going to get bullied because you home educate, its a sorry lesson to learn!

Who in your home put your head down the toilet? Who in your home was mean and left you out?

My daughter wouldn't be bullied by being taught at home, mainly because there would only be me and her (she's reaching 15 so concentrating on GSCE's so no need for days out and group things) and I'm not a bully!

Have you heard yourself? Honestly, give your head a wobble !!!!!!.

kafkathecat

coinxoperated, I am sorry to hear about your experiences but where were the adults? I have seen some minor bullying in home ed groups over the years but there have always been parents around to help or to remove their child from the situation if necessary. To my mind that is the huge advantage of home ed, if you don't want to be there you don't have to. Children are children and it is our job to help them learn what is OK and what isn't. Maybe I am lucky but ds has more friends than I ever had at school and they are a mix of schooled and home educated. When he has had problems with other children we have just avoided them for a bit then gone back and often everyone has moved on.

coinxoperated

"My daughter wouldn't be bullied by being taught at home, mainly because there would only be me and her (she's reaching 15 so concentrating on GSCE's so no need for days out and group things) and I'm not a bully!"

I can think of no better way to prepare your daughter for adult life, by only having you as company!!!

She will obviously not come across any mean people as long as you are there protecting her!

I've made my point, and you obviously are one of the 'pro-home edders' so I shall leave you to your cauldron.

LTP123

No I didn't go to playgroup with my daughter. I asked one of the ladies and she told me the truth..

My daughter is not just shy or a bit quiet. She constantly needs loving, carries a comfort toy constantly and is a deep thinker. She hates any injustice towards anyone or anything.