Home educate?

poet123

kafkathecat wrote: »

And I know home ed children who have gone to college and performed outstandingly. Home ed children are not a homogeneous group and many are home educated because they can't cope, socially or otherwise. This does not change overnight. I know fantastically motivated 12 year olds who are already starting GCSEs and 15 year olds who are doing very little. I know children who are very sociable and others who prefer their own company. I know school children like this too. I have spent the last 11 years mixing with other home educated families and you really cannot generalise.

I can only tell you what my personal experience (as a college lecturer) has been. Of course, you get that with school educated children as well, but all of the Home Educated children I have come into contact with have had issues in one or other of those areas.

They may perform well academically, but that may not make up for being sat alone on the corridor at break/lunch times because they don't interact well with their school educated peers. Or they may interact well, but not cope with the way a large class is run, or be at the required level to take onboard the nuances of a new subject which is taught differently to how they are used to learning.

LTP123

No I couldn't toughen up because I have no desire to shout or argue with anyone, even if they do it to me. I could never do something to spite someone else, so when I was done a bad turn it really upset me.

How many children genuinely 'love' school.

poet123

LTP123 wrote: »

I should have picked a smaller school for her. I will for next year and see how it goes.

I think that would be a really good idea. You and she both have to be happy with your choice of school, when you are a lot of your fears will probably be proved groundless. Good luck.

ETA all mine loved school.

Caroline_a

LTP123 wrote: »

How many children genuinely 'love' school.

My parents were both teachers for infant and junior schools and taught many many children who loved school. My children all loved school (ok not so much around exam time ) but school gave the the social grounding which helped turn them into balanced young athletes.

OP I do think you are totally projecting your hatred of the school system both on here and I would imagine also to your child. It's a little like the mother who dislikes a particular food and turns up her nose whenever it's served to the child - the child will grow up to dislike the food as he or she feels that it will please the mother most.

LTP123

Maybe. But what I say on here, isn't the same as RL. I don't tell anyone who will listen how much I hate school. Tbh, even if my daughter wasn't highly sensitive, why put her through it? Why not have an easy, relaxed upbringing? As a child gets older, they pick what they want to do. We are told to do jobs that get us good salaries not careers that we will enjoy.

poet123

LTP123 wrote: »

Maybe. But what I say on here, isn't the same as RL. I don't tell anyone who will listen how much I hate school. Tbh, even if my daughter wasn't highly sensitive, why put her through it? Why not have an easy, relaxed upbringing? As a child gets older, they pick what they want to do. We are told to do jobs that get us good salaries not careers that we will enjoy.

Because she is not you, and given the opportunity she may love school.

LTP123

Fair point. Still think i will stick with the smaller school next year.

Janepig

LTP123 wrote: »

Fair point. Still think i will stick with the smaller school next year.

That may be a good idea but I wouldn't pin all your hopes on it. DD and DS go to a very big school (for a primary - almost 500 kids) but because of the way the school is run and the fact that they chose to spend alot of their budget on extra staff (despite having less money than other schools because of a low percentage of children receiving free school meals), there isn't a culture of children getting "lost" as can so easily happen in a large school and their results are outstanding. IMO schools are "good" or "bad" because of the way they are run, not because they have lots of children or fewer children.

Also, I don't know if this is an issue in your locality, but in my LEA and the surrounding ones, small schools have been closing hand over fist in the last few years because of how much it costs the LEA to keep children in small schools as opposed to big ones. Schools that need alot of upgrading work seem to be being closed also, instead of money being spent on building work. Lots of rural, town and city schools around here are closing, being amalgamated with other schools, etc... and whilst not the end of the world for a child, can lead to some upheaval. Just something to consider.

Jx

Cat501

LTP123 wrote: »

My daughter is not just shy or a bit quiet. She constantly needs loving, carries a comfort toy constantly and is a deep thinker. She hates any injustice towards anyone or anything.

None of those things make your little girl any more unique than any other child - those traits aren't THAT uncommon, even at that age! When I worked in a nursery there were quite a number of children I'd describe like that. After a couple of weeks, they were all fine. Still sensitive, still quieter than others, but happy and able to socialise and play with others, even with just one other child at a time. And yes, at times, they'd want to play alone, it's not really a problem. I doubt she'd be the only one at the nursery with a sensitive personality. Elsewhere you say she likes small groups, well, that's not unusual either and is a positive thing in light of everything else.

I can't understand why you wouldn't at least give her the chance, as others have said, she isn't you My DD1 was very quiet in class - all her school reports commented on it - but she did well, had a nice little group of friends, and by the time she left primary had even entered the school talent show a couple of times! That from a child who wouldn't even get her photo taken at 3 years old.

Good luck with the CBT, really hope it helps you

MarilynMonroe_2

I would love to homeschool but the lack of support puts me off.

As it is my daughter wont start school till she's over 5 and she's not going to any nursery/pre school either, i think 5 is plenty young enough.

I don't know anyone who loved school, I didn't, I think there has to be a better way than institutionalising little people and told they must learn or else! (which is how it felt to me)

I hope she does enjoy it once she goes though, she's very bright and sociable despite (or because of maybe!) not going to nursery/preschool.
Good luck, at least if she really hates shcool ther is always the option of you homeschooling.