Opinions Please - Work Issue.

podperson

I do think the woman is being a bit unreasonable here. I read it as anyone in the office is allowed to take extended lunches on flexi time as long as they book them in advance and there is phone cover. The two mums asked a week in advance so they could take their kids to the first day of new nursery sessions, this woman wasn't happy because this meant she couldn't also have an extended lunch when she decided she wanted it on the day. I suppose it depends on whether if the situation was reversed and she'd booked it a week in advance and one of the mums had then asked for it on the day would she have been told she couldn't have it either? If so, then it's all fair as far as I can see, nothing to do with them having kids but them asking for the extended lunch further in advance.

The Christmas thing I suppose is a little trickier. To clarify, OP were you due to have Christmas Eve off last year and gave it up to one of the young mums. This mum is now 'due' to have it off this year and offered it you as you gave her your year last year, but you said you didn't mind and she can keep it? If that's the case I can see her point that she's made the offer to you because you did her the favour last year and doesn't see why she should have to offer to the others who have to work. And since the 'grumpy' woman had it last year then if she was offered it then she would be in the same position of having two years off in a row.

Has she always been a bit resentful of the younger mums or is this something that is more recent? Perhaps as others have mentioned she has some stuff going on at home that she wishes she could get more time off for so is feeling a little annoyed?

amus

GobbledyGook wrote: »

If the OP is happy to work then why should it automatically be the Mum who is off in her place? Surely if there is an extra Christmas Eve off then there should be some sort of fair procedure between ALL of those working to allocate it? I can understand why she's hacked off.

*Not saying the woman is a grump btw, just to make it easier to read.

If it were me and I desperately wanted to leave early again, I would just say I also wanted it off and work it out from there. I wouldnt go off in a huff, it solves nothing at the end of the day.

GobbledyGook

amus wrote: »

If it were me and I desperately wanted to leave early again, I would just say I also wanted it off and work it out from there. I wouldnt go off in a huff, it solves nothing at the end of the day.

I wouldn't huff either. Sounds like she perceives the Mums as getting unfair treatment and this could be the proverbial straw. Or she could just be a grump :rotfl:

Fire_Fox

amus wrote: »

Yes sorry I have, just re-read.

I still dont see why the woman was grumpy, she had had the christmas before off also, so if she wanted to put in for the leaving early she could have done.

OP had this woman expressed a desire in leaving early this christmas also?

It appears the team agree between themselves who puts in for Christmas eve off it's not every man for themselves, yet that has not happened because the OP has offered 'her turn' to someone else two years in a row. My guess is it's the overall picture of some getting preferential treatment not the single issue of Christmas eve, perhaps this resentment has been going on longer than the OP thinks. There are plenty on this thread who have said they would feel the same and given good reasons why. Perhaps the two child-free ladies are feeling railroaded but saying in private that they are unhappy? I've been designated spokeswoman before in a team meeting only for nobody to back me up. :eek:

Having said that the colleague is being unprofessional, immature and unreasonable to request time off in October when that has already been agreed.

Errata

Perhaps the two child-free ladies are feeling railroaded but saying in private that they are unhappy?

In my experience those with children expect those without to go along with whatever they suggest If they do otherwise they're the spawn of the devil and probably eat boiled babies for Sunday lunch.

Janepig

Haven't really read many of the replies, although I get the flavour . I've worked where I am now for the last 20 years, both childless and as a parent, and when I was childless I was more than happy to cover for parents to take August, and other associated school holidays. I have never been able to understand why anyone without children would want to holiday when the schools are off (other than teachers, obviously). What a nightmare! I was quite happy to have late June/early July, or September as my main holidays - quieter, cheaper and the weather's usually better at those times.

Now I have children, and the way I see it is that I'm actually limited in the time I can take my leave, ie, it has to coincide with the school holidays, otherwise there's no point in me taking it. I'm not blessed with grandparents who can look after them every day for me. So whereas my child free colleagues have 52 weeks a year available to them, I have around 13 (off the top of my head). So I do feel that I have "done my bit" in working school holidays, Christmas, Easter, so my colleagues who had children could take that time off, and when my two are older I'll do that again, but for now I suppose I do "expect" to be able to take school holidays. And as I say, I suppose I can't get it into my head that anyone without children would want to be off at this time (other than Christmas, that's fair enough).

Of the six weeks my two have been off this summer, I took the first two weeks off and will be having this week off too. Hardly a nightmare situation for my colleagues to manage.

I have a colleague (I mentioned her in another recent thread) who wanted four weeks off this school holiday - this was refused, so she went off sick for the first two weeks, then took leave for the second two. It's people like that who give parents a bad name. There's no harm in a bit of give and take. But that's also on the part of non-parents, many of whom seem to think that parents want to take school holidays off out of spite or something.

Jx

Janepig

On the Christmas Eve, finishing at 3pm thing - same thing happens where I work (only I work until 2pm anyway so it doesn't affect me ), but I know what has happened in previous years is that the office manager has said that as lunch is 1pm-2pm, she was happy for everyone to finish at 1pm and she used to say back for the hour 2pm-3pm. OP I don't know if that's possible for one of you to offer to say alone for that hour so that everyone else can go at 1pm? Maybe that'll calm the waters somewhat.

Jx

dizziblonde

Janepig wrote: »

Haven't really read many of the replies, although I get the flavour . I've worked where I am now for the last 20 years, both childless and as a parent, and when I was childless I was more than happy to cover for parents to take August, and other associated school holidays. I have never been able to understand why anyone without children would want to holiday when the schools are off (other than teachers, obviously). What a nightmare! I was quite happy to have late June/early July, or September as my main holidays - quieter, cheaper and the weather's usually better at those times.

YOU can't understand it so you're going to assume everyone else thinks the same as you? People have a multitude of reasons for needing holidays when they do - events they want to attend, spending time with relatives who are tied to set holiday dates, just preferring the weather then (don't laugh with the summer we had)... sometimes it's just that people would like not to have their options completely railroaded and their needs disregarded is all. The assumptions that the childfree don't matter, that they cannot possibly have obligations restricting them annoyed me when I had no kids - and they annoy me now.

And yes, for many years my poor husband had to put up with people sniping and wittering at work that he had no "right" to book holidays in half terms or the summer holidays - he was married to me when I was tied into school holidays - but still the office harpies decided to sit taking potshots and grumbling and he had to fight his boss's idiotic policy of blocking non-parents booking holidays at all - but I suppose the harpies feeling like they had the right to try to bully him out of every possibility of having a joint holiday with his wife was ok.

HeatherintheHills

Northern_Princess wrote: »

I work in a team of 6 women...

She seems to have a real issue with the two girls with young kids as the other two girls who don't have kids are like me and do what we can if the ones with the young kids need holidays at a certain time etc.

Can you not see that 3 out of 4 of you are putting a lot of pressure on the 4th person to comply with your way of thinking, which is that the 2 mothers of young children are given priority?

Has it worked out that both of the young Mums are getting Christmas Eve off every year?

You are not seeing the point she is making, which appears to me to be that the young Mums are accommodated when they ask for time off, but everyone feels perfectly entitled to refuse her requests because she doesn't have young children. That is why she asked for time off in October.

Janepig

Errata wrote: »

OP - now you know what happens when workers try to sort things out for themselves instead of getting management to do it - all hell breaks out.

That is soooooo not the case where I work!! Or at least not with the team I've been in for the last 12 years. Avoid getting management involved at all costs!! We pride ourselves on being able to sort ourselves out with no bloodshed, and also sort out cover for each other, etc... The few occasions with our last manager where we thought "sod it" and left him to sort it out, all hell broke lose so we went back to doing his job for him!! Our view is that it's only us who will be suffering if we don't sort out cover, so that's why we do it. I suppose it helps that we all get on really well so we really do look out for each other.

Jx