Opinions Please - Work Issue.

euronorris

Yeah, I have to travel by plane if I want to see my family at Christmas. Last year, I stayed here (first year didn't work out due to bad weather, 2nd year I made it) as I was trying to do it on an alternating basis, so I stayed in work whilst others had time off. The years before me, they stayed in work (or worked from home), so that I could travel to visit the family.

My old London colleagues have had a few lunches planned months in advance with me, as they are planned around the dates that I am visiting. It isn't the usual practice, but it does happen. I think it also depends on what business you're in too, as it is not uncommon for the Managers, Directors & Partners here to take clients out for lunch (sometimes dinner) and they can be planned months in advance too.

Everyone has people, or things that are important to them. No one persons commitments are more important than anothers, and these things can all be worked out fairly with talking and a bit of effort.

ikkle87

dizziblonde wrote: »

(And I always found really offensive the assumption the childless ones would be delighted with New Year off to nurse a hangover - never mind they might have long travels to do to be with aging parents or whatever for Xmas Eve - the underlying assumption was always that they'd just want to get trollied)

The assumption that it's ONLY if you've got young kids that you deserve consideration with booking holidays, shift rotas, use of flexi annoys me even now.

This. Last year at Xmas OH was told he had to work boxing day even though it wasn't one of his normal rota'd days because everyone else had young kids, or were 16 and 17 years old. He point blank refused as we had made plans (with it not being his rota'd day) to spend it with his mum, and I'm glad he did refuse because she passed away a month later so it was the last christmas we ever got with her.

If you all finish at 3pm anyway on Xmas Eve I can't really see the problem. They will still be home to share excitement with their little ones before bed.

londonsurrey

Does the other members of the team get extended lunch breaks when they want to go to Argos or the equivalent?

I think the key is in the system to be equitable, and to be seen as such.

I once had a team of 12 men. One of them was divorced, and used to leave early 3 days a week to pick up his children.

Another member of the team once muttered to everyone, within my hearing, about how unfair it was after he'd left for the afternoon. I made it a point to explain that the father actually came in at 7:30 every day to make up for the lost time, and that most of the team didn't appreciate this as they came in at 9. As his manager, I came in earlier sometimes, and was fully aware of his work hours.

I also made it clear to the rest of the team that they were also free to change their work hours, and it wasn't preferential treatment just because he'd fathered two children.

coinxoperated

A childless working person, I can see both sides and do similar to yourself.

I work in an office with 5 other women, all have under 5's and a couple of teenagers between them. I always offer to work Christmas eve / December Christmas time days as I think not how much they will enjoy being at home, but how much it will make there childs Xmas. Xmas was never the same after my mum passed away when I was 15, and I try and keep that in mind.

If the moaning grumpy woman has a problem, just don't take sides and leave her be. You've offered your days, if she wants to be awkward, let them deal with her. It's them that have the problem, not you.

I have to say though, it gets frustrating when your punished in some ways for NOT having kids. (Xmas breaks, flexibility because of 'nursery/school times' stuff. I let it go because they will always pull the 'Its my child!!!' phrase outta the bag.

I wouldn't stress yourself about it, sometimes ignoring the problem is the best way to deal with office disputes! X

BritAbroad

To be honest, I can totally understand your colleague's point of view.

The lunchtime thing is a joke if these women are taking extended lunch breaks every day. In many jobs, the period between 11 and 3 is the busiest time of the day, so it's not fair if they get to work less and pass the responsibility on to everyone else. I had a team leader who did that, he used to go to the gym for two hours every lunchtime, leaving everyone else to cover the phones. It used to really annoy us all as we couldn't ever take more than an hour at lunchtime, and even then it had to be a dire emergency to get that amount of time.

Christmas should be fair dibs for all - everyone has family or friends they want to spend that time with. I usually opted to work Christmas eve as it tended to be quieter and we finished early anyway. I would have been annoyed if I had to work the days in between Christmas and New Year every year - I didn't mind doing it some years, but other years I had plans. I had been livid if I'd been expected to change my Christmas plans every year to accommodate people with children.

georgiesmum

When my children were young my husband worked in a hospital. He was there for 14 years and never got Christmas off. With 5 little ones it was so disappointing not to have their dad there for Christmas. I had his mother as well, and we hated each other.
I used to call his boss and the other workers fit to burn over it. It wasn't until i went to a "do "their that one of the staff asked me why he never wanted Christmas day off to be with his family.
I was mortified, apparently he volunteered every Christmas as it was Double time. I of course never saw any of the extra money.
Sorry about that, just wanted a rant. lol

Errata

OP - now you know what happens when workers try to sort things out for themselves instead of getting management to do it - all hell breaks out.

floss2

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Aren't they asking for extended time every day? I didn't see it specified how often the extended lunches are which is why I asked instead of assuming.....

Northern_Princess wrote: »

..... These girls asked a good week in advance if it was ok with everyone else so we all had plenty of notice. On the day the girls were due to have their extended lunches ....

Was it not clear enough in the OP's first post? They were taking their children to the first afternoon session of nursery - which usually means that they have to be taken by at least one parent to be known to the staff, do any formalities or pay any monies.

amus

Am I the only one who doesnt see this as 'special treatment'?

The two with kids asked a week beforehand if anyone would mind them having the longer lunch whilst they see their kids off to nursery (a one off I presume?). The girls with kids did not expect to be given xmas eve off, from what I read the girl offered to work xmas eve but OP declined because it didnt bother her working.

Work is all about give and take. I have no problems covering a late shift for someone who is unable to do it, and in return you usually find such behaviour is reciprocated.

Its not like these girls are 'expecting' special treatment FGS, they've simply asked if they can use their flexitime on a day they need it i.e. the whole point of flexitime.

IMO it does sound like your colleague was being purposefully awkward. If it were me I would just make sure I dont bother offering to cover for her when she might need it.

Fire_Fox

floss2 wrote: »

Was it not clear enough in the OP's first post? They were taking their children to the first afternoon session of nursery - which usually means that they have to be taken by at least one parent to be known to the staff, do any formalities or pay any monies.

It is ambiguous which is why I have have asked twice for clarification. You read that as a one off I read it as the first in a series. In the OP several relevant words are plural not singular (emboldened).

Northern_Princess wrote: »

A few weeks ago the two girls with young kids asked if it was ok with everyone if they could take extended lunch breaks as their wee ones were starting nursery for afternoon sessions. This wasn't an issue with me, after all it's not easy working and trying to juggle family life. But it was an issue with the other lady whose children are teenagers. She made SUCH a fuss for no reason. These girls asked a good week in advance if it was ok with everyone else so we all had plenty of notice. On the day the girls were due to have their extended lunches she decided she needed a longer break the same day to pick up stuff she'd ordered from Argos then got huffy when it was pointed out the other two girls were out of the office so the phones needed covering.