Opinions Please - Work Issue.

dizziblonde

olibrofiz wrote: »

When my DD was younger I worked with 2 women who also had youngish kids, 1 who had late teens, and 2 who had none. It was a bit difficult at times as one of the ones with no kids ALWAYS took her holidays during half term/school holidays - we just smiled at the thought of wherever she went on her hols she'd be surrounded by screaming kids (she hated them, lol).

I'd work my hours around someone with little 'uns, I remember how time draining it can be.

My husband always had to take his holidays during school holidays - his employer gave him endless grief having to fight to do so because he had no "need" to apparently.

The fact he was married to a school teacher (who doesn't exactly have the flexibility to take herself out of school for a couple of weeks in early September) had utterly escaped them. He had to get his boss to agree a deviation in their point blank - parents only can book holidays during X weeks viewpoint so we could ever have a break together.

Fire_Fox

Not sure I see the point of this thread, you've already passed judgement by referring to this woman as grumpy and making a fuss for no reason.

Why was everyone only asked a week ahead about taking longer lunches? That is hardly plenty of notice. How do the longer lunches affect the remaining staff? How often are these longer lunches, every day or every week? Surely if they are getting longer lunches they should 'go to the back of the queue' for flexi-time on other days like Christmas eve?

I am child free by choice and object to people with small children getting or expecting special treatment, other than of course if their child is ill or parents evening/ sports day/ school play. I don't see why parents have any more need or any more right to a longer Christmas eve, other people might want to leave early to travel, Christmas eve might be a special occasion in their family, Christmas might be the only time of year their whole family is together.

It might be difficult having small children and working but that is a lifestyle choice, just like people who choose not to have children or choose to have a pet or any number of other lifestyle choices. Isn't it nice to spend time with siblings that live at the other end of the country or on the other side of the world? Or elderly parents or grandparents who might not be around next year?

FBaby

euronorris wrote: »

Has anyone actually spoken to this woman to get a better understanding of why she is upset, especially in comparison to past years? Maybe there is more to the story than others, or even she, is letting on? !

I agree that without asking her directly why she has an issue with it, it is difficult to judge. There are some people who can't stand others getting special treatment even if they have no interest in that same treatment themselves, but perhaps she does feel -possibly with good cause- that it is just always taken for granted that she should be accommodating, when others are not always for her because her reasons are not seen as valid?

It is really nice when people recognise what a nightmare it is to work when you have young children and be supportive of it. I find that it really depends on people. I have had bosses who were really understanding and showing great flexibility and others who refuse to consider any flexibility (usually themselves without children). The frustrating thing is that I have always been grateful for those showing flexibility and have always been much more prepared to give a lot more to these bosses than to those who showed no care, so they really haven't benefitted from their approach.

Fire_Fox

*Louise* wrote: »

For hubby's workplace it tends to be that people with young children will get the day off after Christmas while those without children will get the day after New Year so it all works out and everyone is happy.

I've been unable to see any of my family at Christmas in the past because of this sort of logic/ policy. Not everyone has family nearby and not everyone drives. Not everyone without children or with grown up children values New Year over Christmas, we aren't all carbon copies of one another.

floss2

OP :T for being a supportive colleague - I remember what it was like 25 years ago when my kids were small and I would have loved a colleague like you!

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Not sure I see the point of this thread, you've already passed judgement by referring to this woman as grumpy and making a fuss for no reason.

Why was everyone only asked a week ahead about taking longer lunches? That is hardly plenty of notice. How do the longer lunches affect the remaining staff? How often are these longer lunches, every day? Surely if they are getting longer lunches they should 'go to the back of the queue' for flexi-time on other days like Christmas eve?

I am child free by choice and object to people with small children getting or expecting special treatment, other than of course if their child is ill or parents evening/ sports day/ school play. I don't see why parents have any more need or any more right to a longer Christmas eve, other people might want to leave early to travel, Christmas eve might be a special occasion in their family, Christmas might be the only time of year their whole family is together...

Generally, people don't organise their lunch-times a week ahead - unless you are a super busy incredibly organised person or there is a fixed rota which the OP said there isn't.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask a week in advance to use flexi time (that these parents have already worked) to extend their lunches because their small children are starting a different nursery session. It's not like they are asking for the extended time every day until the children start school for heavens sake!

Also, why should someone be penalised for having children, when things like Christmas arrangements come up? If there is a system in place (which I understood there to be, of alternating 50% of the team taking their flexi time on Christmas Eve) why should one of those mum's not be able to take her once-every-two-years opportunity to take the time off? Isn't that what the flexi-time thing is all about - flexible working times??

And finally - they didn't expect to get the time off because they are parents. They asked if their colleagues would mind - there is a huge difference.

I guess you are the sort of person who would whinge if say one of your colleagues had to take a 2 hour lunch for a dental appointment or needed to finish early or start late to take an elderly relative to the Drs because they are getting something extra that you aren't......All I can say is that I'm glad I don't work in your office.

19lottie82

I don't think there is any right or wrong answer here OP. My advice would be quite simply, keep out of it and your opinions to yourself.

mountainofdebt

Well I've been lucky enough to have the period in between Christmas & New Year off for the last two years as well as the 3 days between Easter and the Royal Wedding last year and I haven't got small children.

However this year a couple of the team that I'm in have had children so I have quite clearly stated that I will be working the in between period and everyone else can fight it out amongst themselves.....which is going to be interesting as the those who haven't any children have already expressed a preference for having the time off as well!

Azmataz

Fire_Fox wrote: »

I don't see why parents have any more need or any more right to a longer Christmas eve, other people might want to leave early to travel, Christmas eve might be a special occasion in their family, Christmas might be the only time of year their whole family is together.

Exactly this. Christmas time for me is also the only time my (far flung) family get together as a unit. Even though there are no children involved, we really value this time, especially as we get older. I remember this factoid caused quite a stir in a previous job, when I refused to cancel my pre-booked holiday and flight plans so that a young mum could have a straight fortnight off over Xmas with her kids. She hollered on about 'discrimination' for months afterwards. :doh:

flutterbyuk25

I'm another who thinks there isn't a right or wrong answer here.

I am childfree. In my old job (call centre with 800+ staff) it used to really bug me that people with children got preferential treatment - you couldn't book leave during school holiday periods until 2 months beforehand, not even if it was for special occasion like a wedding or similar. Parents were always given first dibs on leave.

However where I work now (small team of 10 people), I am quite happy to arrange my leave around those with children. I tend to not book leave during summer school holidays (although I have been off for the past week due to needing to use up leave!) leaving it for the 8 of my colleagues who do have children. I am also happy to cover for them when they are running late from dropping kids off, or need to finish early to pick them up/go to events (rarely happens). But in return they are all happy to let me book leave on random days when I have weddings/weekends away etc booked. Or take long chunks of leave out of school holidays - last year I took a 3 week block in Nov to travel.

I think I am more than happy to do this now because there is absolutely no expectation from my current colleagues for me to do this (and vice versa), whereas before parents acted like they had the right to leave because they had children.

Luckily we do not have the Xmas problem in my work as we finish on 23rd, and get 'free' leave until Jan

Just my pennys worth anyway!

CL

I had my first child at 30 and for the 10 years prior to that I always offered to work over the Christmas period to allow those with kids to have it off. Now I have a toddler I'd like to be able to have Christmas off if possible.

For those who are childfree (which I find admirable as there are some very good reasons for it, it just wasn't for me), even if you have no children, you were obviously children yourselves at one point and should remember how magical christmas feels to a child and spending it with their parents instead of a childminder is important.