Opinions Please - Work Issue.

HeatherintheHills

dizziblonde wrote: »

YOU can't understand it so you're going to assume everyone else thinks the same as you? People have a multitude of reasons for needing holidays when they do - events they want to attend, spending time with relatives who are tied to set holiday dates, just preferring the weather then (don't laugh with the summer we had)... sometimes it's just that people would like not to have their options completely railroaded and their needs disregarded is all. The assumptions that the childfree don't matter, that they cannot possibly have obligations restricting them annoyed me when I had no kids - and they annoy me now.

And yes, for many years my poor husband had to put up with people sniping and wittering at work that he had no "right" to book holidays in half terms or the summer holidays - he was married to me when I was tied into school holidays - but still the office harpies decided to sit taking potshots and grumbling and he had to fight his boss's idiotic policy of blocking non-parents booking holidays at all - but I suppose the harpies feeling like they had the right to try to bully him out of every possibility of having a joint holiday with his wife was ok.

:T:T:T:T

Very well said, and very true.

Humphrey10

Janepig wrote: »

So whereas my child free colleagues have 52 weeks a year available to them, I have around 13 (off the top of my head).

Nope, you have 52. The year is still 52 weeks long. You might choose to restrict your holidays to 13 weeks, but that's your choice, your problem.

coolcait

HeatherintheHills wrote: »

Can you not see that 3 out of 4 of you are putting a lot of pressure on the 4th person to comply with your way of thinking, which is that the 2 mothers of young children are given priority?

Has it worked out that both of the young Mums are getting Christmas Eve off every year?

You are not seeing the point she is making, which appears to me to be that the young Mums are accommodated when they ask for time off, but everyone feels perfectly entitled to refuse her requests because she doesn't have young children. That is why she asked for time off in October.

I see it this way too.

In fact, I would suggest that it is all five who are - no doubt unintentionally - putting pressure on this woman to conform to the view that the mothers of young children should get priority.

When my children were younger, I would usually offer to work the Christmas/New Year/in-between days, for reasons which other posters have pointed out - I just had to travel home after work to be with my little family.

Other colleagues had to travel longer distances to be with their families. If they had to work over Christmas/New Year, they wouldn't be able to make that journey, so would have to spend Christmas/New Year away from their families. If they were single, that might mean that they had to spend Christmas/New Year alone - especially if their other friends had gone home.

One woman suggested to me that I could take Christmas off ('since you have small children') and invite my single colleague to spend Christmas with my family. I felt that she had missed my point entirely...:eek:

Janepig

Humphrey10 wrote: »

Nope, you have 52. The year is still 52 weeks long. You might choose to restrict your holidays to 13 weeks, but that's your choice, your problem.

Oh this is a subject that has you all crawling out from under your rocks doesn't it? I'm fed up of trying to be pleasant to people on these boards, I'm going to start trolling, I swear to god. Obviously I can take any of the 52 weeks a year, and yes it was my problem that I decided to procreate and fill the world with more children it doesn't need, but as I said, there is little point in me taking time off other than in the school holidays. But does that mean that those who don't NEED to take time off in the school holidays should take it anyway out of spite? In your case I guess it does.

Jx

Old_Joe

Haven't read all the posts in this thread but . . .

Missus always worked as a senior night sister; our younger daughter (childless) worked at night in care elsewhere.
Although all staff were expected to work sometime over Christmas, both insisted that they worked Christmas Eve so that other staff with younger children could be at home for Christmas morning to watch their young ones opening their presents.

Northern_Princess

To answer a few queries:-

The lady in question gets as many extended lunches (if not more) as the rest of us. Everyone is happy to accommodate anyone who wants an extended lunch. However, the day the two mums needed the time off (and had requested it early) the lady came in that morning saying she needed to have an extended lunch to go to Argos when she already knew they had asked for it. Normally the rest of the team don't bother with extended lunches much, most of us prefer to save our flexi to get away early or have a full day off. The lady in question prefers extended lunches to leaving early ( or so she has said in the past)

Re the Christmas Eve working issue. She has said in the past she does not mind working it alternate years. She knows I never bother having it off as my hubby works Xmas Eve until late and I'm happy to work until 3. She heard this mum offering to work,it for me this year. She had an opportunity to ask if she could have it off but didn't. If she had asked it wouldn't have been a problem - we are a close team.

Can I just make it clear that the mums with young children rarely ask for anything of the rest of us. I'm happy to let them have the time off if I choose to work it. I was shocked at the lady's rant today about people with children. They are not given any special treatment. Her rant went as far as to voice her disgust that people with children under 5 should also not get carets leave. Where I work, if you have a child under 5 parents can have up to 10 days per year as paid carers leave. I felt awful sitting there with her ranting as I was given (at the discretion of the management) 7 days paid leave when my MIL died recently. She also told me she had no idea why I got 'special treatment' of paid leave as my MIL was not family. My MIL lived, with us! I was too stressed to argue with her.

I can see other people's points on why this lady may feel she is treated differently, but honestly, she isn't. I suppose I don't comprehend why she begrudges someone with a young family 6 hours off on Christmas Eve especially as it my decision to work. Likewise I have offered to give her my leave in October to accommodate her.

I have decided to speak with my Team Leader tomorrow about it unofficially and leave it up to him. I just don't understand why she is acting this way now as these things have never been an issue in the past and I do not want to be ranted at regarding other peoples leave entitlements.

Your opinions have given me a lot to think about as well. Perhaps I'm just too acommodating at work

HeatherintheHills

Janepig wrote: »

Oh this is a subject that has you all crawling out from under your rocks doesn't it? I'm fed up of trying to be pleasant to people on these boards, I'm going to start trolling, I swear to god. Obviously I can take any of the 52 weeks a year, and yes it was my problem that I decided to procreate and fill the world with more children it doesn't need, but as I said, there is little point in me taking time off other than in the school holidays. But does that mean that those who don't NEED to take time off in the school holidays should take it anyway out of spite? In your case I guess it does.

Jx

Jane, what you said was

but for now I suppose I do "expect" to be able to take school holidays. And as I say, I suppose I can't get it into my head that anyone without children would want to be off at this time

So you do expect priority. It gets worse, you have just said that you think non parents book the school holidays out of spite?

Now have you any idea how selfish and arrogant you sound right now? What other people do with their holidays and when they take them is for them to decide, not you :mad:

GobbledyGook

If she hasn't always been ranty/moany then I'd mention it to your boss out of concern. It sounds like there could be something going on with her that she's just getting unreasonably annoyed about things.

Northern_Princess

amus wrote: »

Yes sorry I have, just re-read.

I still dont see why the woman was grumpy, she had had the christmas before off also, so if she wanted to put in for the leaving early she could have done.

OP had this woman expressed a desire in leaving early this christmas also?

No she hadn't. She was apply to work it before today.

Northern_Princess

GobbledyGook wrote: »

If she hasn't always been ranty/moany then I'd mention it to your boss out of concern. It sounds like there could be something going on with her that she's just getting unreasonably annoyed about things.

I think you're probably right. I intend to tomorrow.