Sisters weddings abroad- To go at all costs?

Own_My_Own

I personally wouldn't go. I'd see if I could change my holiday booking to somewhere else.
When my younger sister got married I was told days before the big day that they were not having children at the meal after the ceremony. Fine , only my daughter was a bridesmaid !
We had to go home and get changed, go out for dinner and then change back and attend evening do.
It has always eaten at me that she had no thought for my family, and I wish we had not gone.
I do not speak to her now, as her selfish ways got a bit much. But I never got to say what I thought about that day and I still annoys me 11 years later.

*Louise*

Getting_by wrote: »

What I didn’t mention before (as I had already written a fair bit in the original post) was that once I and the other guests had paid the initial deposit for Antigua, she actually started planning a wedding reception in the UK! Not just any wedding reception either -it is in a huge house, with 100+ guests, food and drink and she will be wearing her wedding dress. Basically another wedding then!

Wow she really wants to eke out the attention for this wedding doesn't she? So a week abroad (I'm sure all 7 days will count as her 'special days' and everyone will have to work round her) and another day back home. I was going to say make sure you don't end up buying two wedding gifts then I saw Jojo's post....

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Oh, and you obviously don't have the money for a fancy wedding present, as that was swallowed up by the date change fees.

Even better!!:T:T:T

*Louise*

Own_My_Own wrote: »

When my younger sister got married I was told days before the big day that they were not having children at the meal after the ceremony. Fine , only my daughter was a bridesmaid !
We had to go home and get changed, go out for dinner and then change back and attend evening do.

Ohhh you did better than me - I would have went home and NOT returned for the evening do......;)

LameWolf

Quite honestly, I wouldn't have agreed to go in the first place - I'd have said that the savings are earmarked for something already, and therefore are not available for an expensive trip abroad.

However - having agreed to go, and arranged to make this your main holiday, unless you're planning on sharing the honeymoon suite with the newly-weds:D, it is absolutely none of your sister's concern how/where you spend the time after the wedding. What's she going to do - have you deported from the island?:cool:

euronorris

aliasojo wrote: »

If this site has taught me anything it's that there's more than one way to skin a cat. Iyswim. :rotfl:

Exactly. I read it in the same way as Pollycat and andy, I just didn't comment on it, that's all.

It was just a misunderstanding though, which has been clarified now, so I don't think there's any need for posters to fall out over it.

Group hugs all round! :rotfl:

Own_My_Own

*Louise* wrote: »

Ohhh you did better than me - I would have went home and NOT returned for the evening do......;)

Would have done but my DD was 4 at the time and very excited about going to the grown up party at night :j
I thought it wasn't her fault her aunt was a selfish moo !

cottyh24

To put it bluntly your sister sounds like a right spoiled cow. I'd have told her to get lost (but not so politely) when she insisted you change your flights. I would also tell her that your wedding present to them is you leaving the island 4 days earlier than planned as this has cost you money you hadn't planned on spending.

My sister lives in Australia and both my me and my husband-to-be were made up to find out that she would be arriving in New York at the same time as us on the last leg of our honeymoon (she went home via America after spending time in the UK after the wedding). It wasn't planned but she arrived there within half an hour of us and we loved spending those few days with her. Ok the circumstances are slightly different as we don't see her often but even if she lived here we'd have met up with her. However, my wedding day was about us getting married and having our family and friends there to celebrate that with us, not just about me...

Amanda65

Own_My_Own wrote: »

I personally wouldn't go. I'd see if I could change my holiday booking to somewhere else.
When my younger sister got married I was told days before the big day that they were not having children at the meal after the ceremony. Fine , only my daughter was a bridesmaid !
We had to go home and get changed, go out for dinner and then change back and attend evening do.
It has always eaten at me that she had no thought for my family, and I wish we had not gone.
I do not speak to her now, as her selfish ways got a bit much. But I never got to say what I thought about that day and I still annoys me 11 years later.

I would have been very tempted to withdraw your daughter's services as a bridesmaid! Unfair on your poor DD who was probably really excited about being a bridesmaid but may have been worth it just to not let your sister use your daughter when needed and then dismiss her:mad:

Not having children to the sit down meal is one thing (not a view I tend to agree with but accept that everyone has the right to have who they want at their wedding) but to exclude her niece (and bridesmaid) and therefore by default her sister is just plain mean.

MrsE_2

andygb wrote: »

That is fair enough, and I will have to accept that your idea of "expect" is quite different to the OP's sister's interpretation of the word.
I personally have a big problem, with those people who try to cajole, force, blackmail, humiliate people (again, close family) into attending a wedding abroad, usually at great expense to the person(s) attending.

Of course, as do I. The OPs sister sounds a nightmare!

We are a small family, my daughter wants a tiny intimate close family wedding. She's always fancied doing it abroad, the in-laws & I both take beach hols (its our thing) so we are all delighted to have a family hol & wedding thrown in.

Other family will be invited, but we don't expect (think) they will attend.

The few that are wanted there are all happy with the arrangement & will view it as their annual hol.

MrsE_2

Pollycat wrote: »

Calm down, dear - it's an internet forum. :rotfl:

Of course you're weren't quite clear - otherwise I and at least one other poster wouldn't have posted as we did.

Nickybat was quite clear in her post - and that seemed to set you off for some reason.

You've taken offence - that's entirely your prerogative.



If you think I've called your daughter selfish in my post - from the sentence above, I can see where she gets if from.

Why on earth would you and your husband not want your daughter to have the wedding she wants?

Finally, FWIW - I didn't say your daughter was selfish, my actual words were:


Get it?

"The people getting married" - not "your daughter is selfish".

Jeez! And you accuse me of 'clumsy misunderstanding'.

I think I've hit a raw spot.

Not at all, no raw spot - those who matter are happy, your "opinion" doesn't matter :-), I asked you to retract your name calling.

My daughter is having a small family wedding to ease the financial burden on her & me. She & her DF have a small baby, a large mortgage & she is facing redundancy. My marriage to her step father broke up last year, so I won't have him to help from my side, her father won't be helping out (he never has).

It suits us all & my DD is happy with it.

2 people on the internet not having a wide vocalbulary does not mean I wasn't clear.......

I'm not sure what you mean now - about Nickybat "setting me off", I agreed with her/them.....

Are you so rude face to face?