Sisters weddings abroad- To go at all costs?

Mrs.W_2

What a piece of work your sister is! She's lucky her close family are even choosing to follow her out to such an expensive resort, never mind bowing down to her every whim.

Why give her such control? Stop pandering to the silliness. Carry on doing so, and what will she come up with next?

MrsE_2

My sister got married abroad & she was happy that people could go & make it their holiday. Didn't tell them where & when they could stay/go, just where she stayed & when she was going & when the wedding was. Some stayed in the same hotel, others in the same resort. Some went on the same plane there & back, others differed. It was a great holiday/wedding.

My DD plans to get married abroad, only immediate family are expected to go, should others decide to it will be a bonus. My DD wouldn't dream of telling people they have to go or the dates they should pick.

Gra76

Your sister is a moron.

I think that sums it up quick well.

She doesn't want you to stay on the island any longer than the wedding? She'd better buy the island then because that's none of her business what you do after the wedding.

Didn't she think to ask people if they would be happy to pay the amount of money it will cost beforehand?

If it had been me I'd probably have cut my nose off to spite my face and just have said I wasn't able to go.

Pollycat

MrsE wrote: »

My DD plans to get married abroad, only immediate family are expected to go, should others decide to it will be a bonus. My DD wouldn't dream of telling people they have to go or the dates they should pick.

This is where I think it is wrong.

IMHO, nobody should be expected to fork out money they may not be able to afford to attend a wedding just because a bride & groom decide to get married abroad.

Should any of my close relatives decide to do that, I would hope that they wouldn't necessarily assume that I would automatically go - and I have 3 or 4 holidays a year.

Most people will probably think I'm selfish but I think it's the people getting married who are selfish if they expect people to attend, either because they are close family or close friends.

Maybe I'd feel differently if I was ever put in that situation though - but I would never traispe all the way to a Caribbean island as that's not my idea of a holiday.

LandyAndy

0^0 wrote: »

This is what I would have said;

We cannot afford to go because I have a business to run and my own life to lead, so we have much more important things to spend our money on than your wedding. Why oh why did you not just get married in this country like we did, but no, its all about you you you isnt it like it always is. You're pretending you are a film star or celebrity by getting married abroad but you havnt even got any money because my father had to pay for you. If he had paid for me I would have gone but nooooo, its all about you, isnt it. Bear in mind your marriage is no more likely to succeed than mine so if it all goes pear shaped dont come crying to me because I will just say I told you so, and that would have been a waste of a good holiday wouldnt it. I'll send you a text on your wedding day if I can remember.

Bye, your loving sis.

:rotfl:That would certainly confirm you were sisters.

MrsE_2

Pollycat wrote: »

This is where I think it is wrong.

IMHO, nobody should be expected to fork out money they may not be able to afford to attend a wedding just because a bride & groom decide to get married abroad.

Should any of my close relatives decide to do that, I would hope that they wouldn't necessarily assume that I would automatically go - and I have 3 or 4 holidays a year.

Most people will probably think I'm selfish but I think it's the people getting married who are selfish if they expect people to attend, either because they are close family or close friends.

Maybe I'd feel differently if I was ever put in that situation though - but I would never traispe all the way to a Caribbean island as that's not my idea of a holiday.

I don't mean expected as in, expected to attend.
I mean expected as in anticipated to attend.
I would have thought that apparant from the remainder of the paragraph?

Also you will note I put close family NOT relatives. Its just parents & the grooms brother, my DD is an only child.

A Caribbean island is exactly the idea of a hoilday to all who plan to attend. Hence why I'm off to the Caribbean in November :-)

lolavix

Wow she sounds a nightmare! I can honestly say if someone spoke to me like that they could stick their wedding, she should be glad you're forking out the money to go in the first place.

Amanda65

When my brother and SIL got married in the Bahama's (SIL is American and bro was living out there with her) we all stayed at the same resort up to the wedding and then 2 days later they left for Hawaii and we had a few more days at the resort. If she doesn't want to share her honeymoon with you, she should move!

aliasojo

FBaby wrote: »

This is truly ridiculous! Are you all your sister's servants? Her demands are utterly ludicrous and I can't believe that anyone with half a brain would bow to them. I would have told her to get lost the moment she assumed you would be there without asking if it was ok let alone when she demanded you started at the same hotel. I can't believe anyone can be spoilt enough to react like this.

I want to go sign up with loads of new AE's just so I can thank this post loads more times.

OP, for goodness sake, develop a backbone and stick with what is fair, and stop pandering!

krlyr

I always think with weddings abroad, the couple should anticipate many of their guests not being able to make it. Nipping a couple of hours away to a venue in the same country can be difficult for some (those with kids or caring for relatives, pets that can't be left all day, limited funds for petrol, etc.) let alone jumping on a plane.
If making a holiday of it is the only way you can justify the expense, she should be ecstatic that you can make it to her big day, not throwing her toys out of her pram that you're going to be somewhere in the same country and probably never even going to bump into each other.
Definately agree with the others, I'd be telling her where to stick her ideas of changing the dates.