Sisters weddings abroad- To go at all costs?

Nan63

Posts like this make me thankful I don't have a sister

NickyBat

I got married abroad and at the time we just told everyone what we were doing, where we were staying and left it open to everyone to do what they wanted. We looked on it that IF people came it was a bonus, we never TOLD anyone what they should do or where they should stay or for how long.

As it turned out most people did come, they all stayed in the same hotel as us and apart from my bridesmaid all flew out and flew home with us so it was one big family holiday with a wedding in the middle. Fab.

The mistake your sister is making in my opinion is TELLING people what they should be doing, and it's up to you to put her right.

Pollycat

I agree 100% with Nickybat's post above.

MrsE_2

NickyBat wrote: »

I got married abroad and at the time we just told everyone what we were doing, where we were staying and left it open to everyone to do what they wanted. We looked on it that IF people came it was a bonus, we never TOLD anyone what they should do or where they should stay or for how long.

As it turned out most people did come, they all stayed in the same hotel as us and apart from my bridesmaid all flew out and flew home with us so it was one big family holiday with a wedding in the middle. Fab.

The mistake your sister is making in my opinion is TELLING people what they should be doing, and it's up to you to put her right.

That was my sisters attitude & is my daughters attitude.

balletshoes

I am completely gobsmacked by your sister's attitude OP - total Bridezilla or what?

You know what? I wouldn't go - she is dictating to you far too much and not contributing to her expensive plans for your hard-earned money. She's not happy with your plans to attend her wedding and still have a lovely holiday on your own terms, and if she's totally put her foot down about it and is refusing to let you do it your way (wth????) then you should say that you're very sorry, but you can't afford to do it the way she wants you to do it.
I think your original plan was a thoughtful compromise by the way - is your sister usually a raving drama queen, or is it just the wedding thats set her off?

Wickedkitten

If one of my sisters had told me some nonsense like that, I would have wished her well and stayed at home.

CH27

Your sister is a cheeky moo. Tell her to b*gger off:D

Getting_by_3

Hi All

Thanks so much for your responses! I was almost certain I wasn’t in the wrong, but just want to check as she reacted SO strongly. I have defiantly been pandering to her too much and just going to stick to the original plan now! Particularly because this is not in fact the “intimate” wedding she originally promised. What I didn’t mention before (as I had already written a fair bit in the original post) was that once I and the other guests had paid the initial deposit for Antigua, she actually started planning a wedding reception in the UK! Not just any wedding reception either -it is in a huge house, with 100+ guests, food and drink and she will be wearing her wedding dress. Basically another wedding then!

Believe it or not too, several times in the last week she has mentioned to me about her gift list to make sure I get her something from it!

barbiedoll

Getting_by wrote: »

She was adamant that we should change the flights immediately, despite the fact that to do so would cost us £120 each. As much as this pained us, especially as she not once offered to help with the £120 changing fee we were happy to change to 10 days so she was there 4 days longer than us (to make her honeymoon the more special trip). This, however, was not short enough still for her and it eventually came out that she really didn’t want us staying a single extra day. She just wants us to come to the expensive wedding, as that is what the focus should be on, and then go. Staying any longer is disrespectful to her and grossly devalues her wedding and honeymoon.

1) Book your flights as you wish, especially as you have found a bargain.

2) Stay in the resort for the week then go to your B&B for the further week.

3) Ignore your sister and her completely unreasonable demands

4) Have a wonderful holiday!

ps....have a word with your dad. I'm sure he's happy to pay for her but I daresay he didn't realise that she would upset his other daughter so much? Cheeky mare!

maman

I wish you'd posted earlier OP. As it is, you've already committed yourself to expense and addititonal costs by changing the date. Personally I'd have thanked her for the invitation and said you couldn't commit to the expense because of your business. But that's not where you're at any more.

I think you need to quit while you're ahead and don't make any further changes. You've got a holiday booked with the wedding as a small part of it. Go and enjoy it. Antigua is lovely. It's a large island with reputedly enough beaches for every day of the year! Also interesting historical bits for sight seeing.

Although your sister is behaving really badly, for the sake of family harmony I'd say as little as possible on the subject to her from now on. This is your final offer and if she doesn't like it then too bad.