What on earth have I done, what on earth should I do :(

poppett

A big virtual hug being sent to you. Sounds like you are going through hell with her g/f. You must take the positive step and get out of that relationship otherwise you will be miserable for years.

What you did on your night out was a result of too much drink and when someone showed a little bit of compassion things went too far. Forget it. It wasn't the right thing to do, you know that but you can't turn back the clock and change it.

Like someone said previously, don't get involved with anyone else while you are still with your g/f as this will only add fuel to her fire. Break free and start afresh, you CAN do it.

Good luck. xx

kittiej

You should report her to the police. Just because you split up doesn't mean she can take all your stuff!

poppett

hi, its me again. The reply i wrote to you above I wrote before reading all 4 pages of this thread, so apologies for not reafing that you had actually moved out. As for her taking your money and I-pod, phone etc.....you can't let her get away with this. Get some legal advice and then clear out everything of hers, return it to her and walk away with your head held high. it will be hard I know but if you have even the slightest contact with her, it is always going to be hard to turn off any feelings you might still have for her. Don't text or call her, don't go round there and eventually she will see that you are coping without her. The comment about her gangster ex boyfriend.....how childish. Don't be fazed about it, she was (as usual) messing with your head. Again, all my best wishes to you. I will come back to this to see how you progress through this difficult time and in time I promise you you will do it. xx

duchy

Wow you've been on a real roller coaster. Definitely do something for Christmas-even if it's offering your services at a local shelter if everyone has plans or is away and as soon as you can afford it-CHANGE THE LOCKS !!
Your posts today sound so much stronger than your ones from earlier in the year. I think 2008 is going to be a far better year for you. Keep it a clean break even if it means not getting the cash back-some things are more important than money and sanity is one of them !! Get legal advice about the money but avoid personal contact-she's not good for you.
Good luck in your happier new life

Anarchist

Thanks for your support everyone, I'm reading every word and trying to take on board as much as I can.

The money is important to me, as I will struggle to survive and pay my bills without it. At the end of the day £2k to get rid of somebody like that could be considered a bargain.

I'm trying my best, but I'm really struggling to cope with it all. I'm a really affectionate, social person and I absolutely can't stand being on my own - never have been able to for as long as I can remember, so this is a real shock. I won't deny that it'll make me stronger in the long run though.

hobo28

Hi mate. Its nice to hear you've managed to turn the page. Take some time for yourself to sort your head out. Don't be tempted to jump into the next relationship straightaway. Make sure you are comfortable with being single first.

Things will get better and hell who knows, you might soon enjoy being single!

antronella

Just wanted to say good luck to you and well done for taking the first steps to a better life. I have posted on other threads, having recently left a marriage after over 20yrs. Try googling verbal abuse....it is good to read other people's accounts of living with someone like this and it reinforces your decision when you start having doubts. (theres an american site..Dr someone, can't remember the name and it is especially good) I have really found this helpful. Its my 6th month living alone and I'm still struggling, but I am more sure of my decision as time goes on. best of luck to you, you've done the right thing xx

Anarchist

first things first, I know I need to make some new friends. All my old friends were her family/friends (or my colleagues) and so they've all gone as well now.

Not 100% sure how to start with that, but I'll figure it out!

Anarchist

20 years, crumbs, couldn't even begin to think how difficult that must have been. Makes me wonder why I can't just stop my whining after 5

Sola

Anarchist wrote: »

first things first, I know I need to make some new friends. All my old friends were her family/friends (or my colleagues) and so they've all gone as well now.

Not 100% sure how to start with that, but I'll figure it out!

Hobbies may be the way to go here. What interests do you have? Join a group for those interests, join a gym or sports activity, take up a new hobby, do an evening class, have a look on Gumtree. My husband was in the same position when his marriage broke up (he wasn't allowed to have any friends for 15 years) - he decided to do something completely different and went on a free 'plant a tree' day run in his community, got chatting to people there, came along to the pub where we met, and the rest is history. But even if we hadn't got together, he still made new friends (and now has a better social life that I do!). Look on this as an opportunity to make a fresh start and find what YOU want.