What would you do? Desperate to start a family, but...

FBaby

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

I believe that having children is a privilege, not a right, and there are so many unwanted children it seems wrong to want to create another one when you're unable to have one naturally. Adoption would be a much better idea in my opinion.

Wouldn't that apply to anyone? many couple conceive without a thought of adoption with one later leaving and abandoning their children but if OP wants a child she should adopt so not to be selfish? That personal judgement should apply to all or no one.

peachyprice

babymad wrote: »

Thegirlintheattic - yes, I know the costs of full childcare, and yes, I can cover it, probably easier than some families with two parents working. I inherited a substansial sum from my parents and brother and have a well paid job on top of being mortgage-free.

Why the need to work full time then? It makes no sense, you're financially stable, you can afford to give alot more time to a baby/child than you're willing rather than stick them in full-time nursery.

babymad_2

peachyprice wrote: »

Why the need to work full time then? It makes no sense, you're financially stable, you can afford to give alot more time to a baby/child than you're willing rather than stick them in full-time nursery.

My job doesn't come with a part time option - full time or nothing.

I wouldn't ever "stick" a child in full time nursery - I would find the best childcare setting possible.

Re adoption, I said in my first post I couldn't adopt. Contrary to popular belief, adoption agencies do not favour single people and certainly not those who work full time, there's a fairly thorough explanation if you read the thread (not intended rudely but really - it is in my first post.)

Thank you for replies, the polite ones are greatly appreciated regardless of which view you express

barbarawright

babymad wrote: »

My job doesn't come with a part time option - full time or nothing.

I wouldn't ever "stick" a child in full time nursery - I would find the best childcare setting possible.

Re adoption, I said in my first post I couldn't adopt. Contrary to popular belief, adoption agencies do not favour single people and certainly not those who work full time, there's a fairly thorough explanation if you read the thread (not intended rudely but really - it is in my first post.)

Thank you for replies, the polite ones are greatly appreciated regardless of which view you express

Have you actually made serious enquiries about adoption? My boss is a single woman who adopted a British four year old c12 years ago. Admittedly she did have a short cut in that her mother did fostering which was how she got to know the child but she was certainly much less well-off than you are and she was working full-time. So it can be done though I'm sure it's not easy.

babymad_2

Yes, I've seriously looked into adoption, unfortunately because I work full-time and don't have a support network, I can't pursue it any further. Thanks.

savingmummy

I would go for a clinic consultation and go from there, if you feel that is for you - perfect!.

Wishing you all the best for the future x.

Mojisola

The other issue with adoption is that most children need to be adopted because something has gone seriously wrong in their family's life. There aren't many cute tiny babies available - mostly children who have experienced very stressful years at home. Adoptive parents have to be able to cope with the resultant problems which is why SS have to have strict guidelines about who can become adoptive parents.

**Patty**

Good grief........poor OP.


Maybe we should subject all females of child-bearing age to this grilling :eek::eek:

Baby mad, i think.....Go for it:D
And i wish you every success x

bossymoo

Absolutely. There are thousands of children born disadvantaged every year in the uk. Who are any of us to say that the ops situation is thus? OP, IMO follow your instincts. Not that of a bunch of strangers on a forum, sat behind their screens all holier than thou.

I had my children because I wanted my own family. My relatives could have all disowned me, leaving me in the same situation the op would be in. But I'm not going to wish my children away.

Who's to say she can't give a child a great life. I think it's nuts that she can't be considered for adoption.

DKLS

OP set up a new user account and post the following:

"Desperate for a baby but can we afford?"

Give a few details such as being in debt, no qualifications, either min wage job or no job, partner in a similar position job wise and unsuitable accommodation and you will receive a very different response.

Usually along the lines of:

"There is never a right time to have a baby, you will manage on tuppence ha'penny and the good will of freegle, charity shops and the state" (usually backed up by at least 3 posters who claim they could raise a child for pennies on a diet of carpet fluff and hand me downs"

"If you waited til you could afford you would never have one"

"Drop yer crackers and get enjoying trying"

And finally with the "love of a child you will manage"

OP do what is right for you, your life your choice, I am child free but also feel my life wouldn't be complete without a baby (my baby would be a Aston Martin V12)