Are you ashamed of being in debt?

EncinoMan

Ashamed, i'm mortified!
This is my first post and i'll be following up shortly with my SOA.

To cut it short, our mortgage used to be £85k, it's now £138k and I caculate we now have debt again of around £30k.

I've had my LBM and about 19months ago almost entered into an IVA?? Think it was that anyhow, but a Hire Purchase Agreement at the time was screwing it up.

Anyhow, will post in more detail later but this is a start I suppose

PeachPickle

Embarrassed and ashamed. Always feel I should have been able to cope with my problems without going shopping and hiding away. But at least I can do that now. My family know (although we don't talk about it) and my ex knows (ditto) but none of my friends do.

kinkypixie

No way am I embarrassed, annoyed that I let it get the way it did. But hey, I'm sorting it now.

Being able to chat on this site has been a huge relief to know that there are other people going through the same thing!!

sammy115

Not embarassed. Can't really admit it at work, as I am financial controller!!!!! Imagine! Don't want them to think I might embezzle to pay off my debts. But I have no problem admitting it to my real friends. My OH however, has a BIG problem!

hannahsmummy1

im embarassed about my situation & sometimes i do feel ashamed that i have this weight around me! But i am dealing with it & paying the debts off- and its that that im proud of! I feel embarassed that i have to do a paper round & a really rubbish low paid job at a bingo hall- for a few quid extra just to meet minimum payments- but i feel proud that i am doing it to get myself out of the situation a little quicker!

findingmyownway

Oooh i don't think i've ever started a thread thats lasted so long before!!

Interesting to see others points of view. My mum has no idea i have debts (apart from mortage and student loan) - she brought me up successfully on a very low income so i think im a bit embarrassed to own up to not being as good as she was. My OH knows pretty accuratly what i owe (some of its to him!). My friends also have a vague idea but not exactly. They know im pretty clued-up on financial stuff now though - i've told them all to change gas suppliers and stuff like that - dont think they'd even thought about it before.

Ah well, hoping it wont be too long before im debt free. Its my bday on thursday and im going to be good and put 90% of any money i get towards CC overpayments.

CAFCGirl

I've changed my mind....... lol

I'm glad I'm in debt.
For me personally it's a fantastic lesson to learn early on in my life so that I can be well aware of the signs and the behaviour on my part which lead to me being in debt.

There are rough and smooth times. I now feel I'm entering into a smooth era, and am loving the fight! The grit and determination I've got bubbling away inside me (new hair cut helps too, esp when free!) to spank my debts!

And yes I am not ashamed to use the word SPANKED on this forum lol

No doubt I'll change my mind again but right now I dont feel any guilt or shame or very much remorse (just a little).

I would however if I ignored the problem and knew I was in debt but refused to answer the calls, write the letters, set up the spreadsheets, create the budgets etc, expect to feel very different.

But like I said, thats just me, and I've got my second wind of debt busting GRRR (no other word to describe it!)..........

SickOfBankCharges_2

Hi Everyone,

sorry for my terrible spelling!

Great thread! and i am not having fun at other's problems - have had the same ones ...
Have been in debt around £13years (am 26now so half my life) and personally I find guilt and anger at myself the hardest thing to deal with, people close to me have in the past (over 6yrs ago-damn!) often paid off large sums of money to help me out of debt, and how did i repay them? yep-by getting in new fresh debt - repeatedly!

my lightbulb moment came a few years ago when i was too ashamed to let anyone else down by admiting to another f**k up and started to fight a bit for myself and pay them off as best i could, on advice i wrote to all companies asking them to accept small monthly payments with no interest until debt was paid as i do not have a big salary - this was accepted and i recommend anyone in similar circumstances do the same. i had to send them a copy of my payslip and an outgoings sheet to get them to accept though.

As a result of our own robin hood i have been able to claim back £1100.00 from natwest and totally clear that debt.

I still owe £1600.00 to barclaycard but am asking for £200 back from them for thier charges. If anyone can explain how to work out interest for credit card charges if any, i would love to hear from you!!!! please .........

I am also writing to old bank accounts asking for statements, gotta be worth a £10 punt each, soon as you find a charge, just add the £10 spent to your claim total!

when i think of all the money i have wasted i feel sick. My mentallity seems to have completely u-turned and i am turning into my Dad - a miser! funny? perhaps,but it would seem i only learnt a lesson when i decided to clear it up myself and not constantly fall back on others - they love you and will always help if they can! I have recently been able to take my 1st step on the property ladder and when i add up all the money i have wasted over the years i could have a mortgage 15% less than it is today. 15% of anyones mortgage is a hell of alot of money!

it is worrying , it is far far too easy for people, particularly young people to get credit in this country, and once in debt with these companies they will try to keep you there! it may be legal but is certainly imoral in my opinion. with that in mind i am disgusted when i hear some banks have been and are designing and marketing "child friendly bank cards" aimed at children as young as 12!!! thats TWELVE - when i was 12 i had barely started getting pocket money - do 12yr olds really need to be educated by our financial institutions? especially when thier education seems to be how to stay in debt to earn their profits!

what ever happened to a simple paying in book and a piggy bank + griffin bag?

our kids (and i am/was one of them) are growing up by "just getting it off Mum" and then when able to (16/17yrs old) just getting an overdraft, followed by a credit card - before ever having had to work to earn something! again the banks should be ashamed of themselves, these kids are literally being brought up in debt there is something very wrong here!

thats more than enough, if anyone has read all this - thank you

SickOfBankCharges

and debt!

janey30

im not embarresed or ashamed to me you deal with life and choices the best way you know how and until something happens to you you wont know how to deal with it until it happens (if that bit makes sense) im in 34000 of debt i got there by not dealing with some very serious issues its taken this debt for me to start dealing with this and i know at the end of it im gonna be a better person so i feel liberated that i have told my nearest and dearest what has happened and why i have so much debt so please dont be ashamed just think when your debts have gone what a better person you will be for it xx;)

x_raphael_xx

Im not ashamed of being in debt, in fact I tell almost everyone! Everyone in work knows I'm in debt!
It is so easy to fall into debt, you start with one small store card, one small credit card, then consolidate, etc etc. I started by buying a laptop for £1000 on a store loan, and after 4 years now Im just £7000 in the poo!
Im in the opinion that I spent the money, I enjoyed it, so its time to return it. And I know the feeling of paying the last £1 off in the end with be fantastic!