Are you ashamed of being in debt?

millionaire_in_training

I am really ashamed and embarassed. Everyone thinks I am amazing with my money because of how I manage and I am so ashamed because I manage the way I do because for about 2 weeks of the month I lived off of a credit card. I have cut this right down and have only used my card twice this year. My next step is to get them cut up and live only on what I earn. I will never admit to anyone how much debt I am in but I have said I will be cutting down as I want to pay off my credit card bill. I get angry at myself because I could have easily had a nice lifestyle without geting into debt but I wanted more than just nice............such an eejit!!!!!

Never mind I am sorting it out now. Good luck everyone on your journey xx

skint_spice

I have told most of my friends that I'm cutting back as I want to pay off all my debts and save money so I can move house. Responses are often surprising with some sympathising and in similar circumstances and others confused as to why anyone would want to pay their debts off! The majority seem to be cutting back about now too as we head towards 40 - are we finally growing up and having LBMs or running out of available credit????

Roll on August 2008!

emmaroids

no im not ashamed to be in debt but im not shouting it from the roof.

im maybe slightly embarrassed with myself for been too flipant with money.

but not ashamed

and im proud of the fact that for the fist time in a few years i have a bank account thats in the black:T :T

doitmyself

Sea78 wrote: »

I disagree - it was not great things at the time and now I wouldn't 'buy' the same things - I would be using the money to add to the family or contine working part time. Perhaps if I hadn't been through this and had always had loads of money then I would still be spending on things i never needed and weren't really good? Perhaps this is what you're saying anyway!
Sea x

Hi Sea
No that's not what I meant really. What you say about your family or working p/t (as opposed to f/t?) is undoubtedly true but you would have to have skipped the previous (x?) years of your life in order to get there/know that!

Apart from not being possible it also wouldn't be desirable. You, like me and like everyone else are living our lives and yes, if we could turn the clock back we would all do some things differently I'm sure (not all of them financial!), but think, we will all make decisions and do things tomorrow and we will do them because they are, or at least seem to be right at the time. If by next week they turn out to be not such good decisions it wont make them wrong.

Here's another quote (keentobuy)

I earn a good salary now (I didn't always which is why I ended up with so much debt as I was spending on credit cards as my salary was crap).

However, I'm on a DMP but my credit rating is crap. I have to accept that I'm not even in a position to get a mortgage until I sort out my finances and credit rating.

This really gets me down as I see all my friends on or getting on the property ladder.

This person's priority now is buying a home and he/she feels upset at not being able to keep up with his/her peers in that respect. Previously it would have been clothes, or cars, and ultimately I guess you could say it will be who can have the flashiest funeral!

Debt is far more complex than a few acronyms, - DMP, LBM, SOA etc. There's some very good advice and experience on this site that people can use to help themselves get better deals and that's great. To be debt-free is not realistic for the vast majority.

gingeremmie

I am not remotely ashamed. My debt is mainly from university even though I worked all the way through. I am proud that I graduated from a good university with a good degree and I am pleased I have the job I now have so you could say it was money well spent. I am disappointed that it has taken me 5 years of messing about since university until I've started buckling down and paying off the debt properly but like do it myself says, I think I needed that time to do all the things I did in that time.

Littlered_3

Yes, I feel very ashamed. I have told my husband, but would never dream of telling the rest of my family. I'm horrified that I've managed to create so much debt with so little to show for it. I don't want to tell people, I don't want what I see as some of my biggest mistakes being gossip for others.
If I could go back in time to when I was 18, I'd cut up that first credit card and turn down nearly every offer of credit. The only thing I wouldn't have changed was getting a loan to buy a car. But that is it.

Bewitched2761

No, not ashamed but fed up with myself and very determined to sort it out. Feel incredibly excited at times, paid off 2 small credit cards recently and love having a plan! and a budget. My small people all know and are onboard and love doing the grocery and store cupboard challenges. I hope for them its a lesson well learned and learnt young.
I tell everyone I know that might benefit about this site!
Why keep a good thing to yourself!

FrugalJo

doitmyself wrote: »

In a weird sort of way I couldn't imagine not being in debt

The mission to become debt-free is admirable, people set themselves targets and go for it, and some will get there, but what then? I have a feeling it could be a bit like a diet - I've lost a stone so I'll have a donut (and another one, and another one...) ultimately ending up fatter (more in debt) than before. Isn't the same psychology at play here? I don't know (I'm no psychologist either).

Is debt, any debt really such a bad thing? 'Even' Martin Lewis who many on here probably revere says not, and he's right about that. Not something to be ashamed of no, definitely not.

Doitmyself
Great comparison.
I can't imagine not being in debt either, I've been in this situation since I was 18 and bought my first flat - some 21 years ago. However, now as I approach my early 40's I'm actually excited at the challenge. Like someone who wants to loose weight I'm looking forward to the benefits, as I retrain my spending habits I'm determind not to take the same route.

Losing weight and paying off debts are very similar, the progress is slow and not something that is easily visible until you actually look at where you were in the big picture of things.

I'm cross with myself, for choosing this route. I've had the holidays, clothes, got the house, but I could have done it so differently. Probably a bit ashamed given the chances I've had. I don't broadcast it, DH knows I'm in debt - not specifics. Can't wait to the day I feel proud about clearing my debt.

shamu95

Very bizarrly i have told everyone about my debt except for Oh. not ashamed as doing something positive about it. i have found loadsa people willing to help since ive started "helping" myself

Toto

I'm not ashamed of the debt, I'm not even sorry it happened to be honest. My debt was thought about and I knew it was happening but we needed to risk that money to start our business and I'm glad we did.

Being debt free is the most eye opening experience of my life, I truly see now how much of my waking and sleeping life was consumed by it and how my choices in life were limited. I will never willingly go there again, I only wish diets were so simple to stick to. Now I do feel in control of my future and I can make decisions based on what I want rather than what I need to do.

I do have a long term goal now and I am working and saving like a dog to get there, I am glad I had the debt, I learned so many lessons from it. My only regret is that I didn't understand sooner and do what was necessary to get rid of it.