Are you ashamed of being in debt?

darktimes

i'm ashamed of my debt.
how can i tell people i've spent 35k on a 11 year herion addiction? i've nothing else to show for it..
my one saving grace is that i've managed to hang onto my job (by the string of my teeth) and since being drug free have managed to get a promotion!
I now have a daily battle with my drug & debt problems which are not made easier by the fact i lost my mother recently and along with that all of her relatives no longer speak to me (through no fault of my own-it's complicated) which makes me feel so alone and as if i've lost them all too.
hopefully i'll come out of this a stronger person, i cant wait til i can get back to enjoying life and thinking about buying a place without having to pay £800pm on loans & c/c's.

Many thanks to the users of this site for offering practical everyday tips for saving and cutting costs. Think i've had my LBM & this is day 1 of a debt free me.
Love to all.
dt

newleaf

No, I am not ashamed of my debt. I'm cross with myself for being so naive and foolish. I have told a few close friends and my OH, and I have had a lot of support and encouragement from them.
I am proud to be dealing with my debt, and happy that I have finally understood a lesson my mother has been trying to teach me for half a century!
By this time next year I should be debt free. Bring it on

southwester_2

Dark Times

You have opened up to your problem and are facing it, stay strong, it does get better and anytime you feel the urge, get on here and talk to like minded people.

All the best

darktimes

Cheers southwester. I'm looking forward to getting re-aquainted with myself!
Going to ring all my creditors today and see how i can realistically clear this mountain without risking putting myself under any pressure or stress myself. Half the reason i found it so hard to kick my habit was depression about the debt, vicious circle..

richardvc

Yes I am ashamed that I got into debt but I think that is due to the British way of not talking about money because it is 'vulgar' !

If we were educated about money ie how to manage it and sort our finances out, then people would realise that they were in debt much earlier and it could be dealt with quicker.

I have told a lot of my friends about my debt and it amazes me how many of them are in a far worse position than me and NOT had a LBM. But once we talk about it they tell me how much better they feel and a couple have started to address the problem.

My debt was caused primarily by HMRC (taxman), redundancy and trying to keep a roof over my head BUT that doesn't make it ok. I feel a little bit of shame doesn't do anyone any harm as well as making us really value and aspire to be debt-free.

hypno06

darktimes wrote: »

i'm ashamed of my debt.
how can i tell people i've spent 35k on a 11 year herion addiction? i've nothing else to show for it..
my one saving grace is that i've managed to hang onto my job (by the string of my teeth) and since being drug free have managed to get a promotion!
I now have a daily battle with my drug & debt problems which are not made easier by the fact i lost my mother recently and along with that all of her relatives no longer speak to me (through no fault of my own-it's complicated) which makes me feel so alone and as if i've lost them all too.
hopefully i'll come out of this a stronger person, i cant wait til i can get back to enjoying life and thinking about buying a place without having to pay £800pm on loans & c/c's.

Many thanks to the users of this site for offering practical everyday tips for saving and cutting costs. Think i've had my LBM & this is day 1 of a debt free me.
Love to all.
dt

Hi DT, you have been through the mill one way or another but are now coming out the other side. You have proved this by becoming drug free, gaining a promotion and by coming on here having had your lightbulb moment.

Life is a journey and you are now embarking on the next phase of yours. It is not always easy, there will be obstacles in the way, but hey, you have gotten over some bloody great big obstacles in the past so you know you can do this.

One step at a time, come on here for support and a laugh and you will get there. Stay strong, and keep on posting x

summerday

Hi DT,

I really admire you for fighting your addiction, many aren't strong enough to and the outcome is usually a very sad one. So sorry to hear about your mum and her family, I hope you find others to support you instead. And keep coming on here, this is a genuinely caring and friendly community that will give you lots of support on the DF front.

You may have a large debt, but you have been spared your life, which is surely priceless

take care, sarah xx

darktimes

rung my loan company up & the 20k i have with them is on a special rate of 6.6%
if i extend it, i will lose the rate. It has 5 years left to run.
I have 14k on a c/c.. currently on 0% til june
I've been trying to get a c/c with 0%, but not many will give me 14k :S
So was going to try to consolidate (i have 2 overdrafts and 2 other small loans, one for 1.5k and one for 2k) all into one.
Anyone know of anywhere i can get a longer term unsecured loan as the current payments are crippling me?

findingmyownway

darktimes wrote: »

rung my loan company up & the 20k i have with them is on a special rate of 6.6%
if i extend it, i will lose the rate. It has 5 years left to run.
I have 14k on a c/c.. currently on 0% til june
I've been trying to get a c/c with 0%, but not many will give me 14k :S
So was going to try to consolidate (i have 2 overdrafts and 2 other small loans, one for 1.5k and one for 2k) all into one.
Anyone know of anywhere i can get a longer term unsecured loan as the current payments are crippling me?

More, longer term loans are rarely the solution to debt problems.

It sounds like you have started to face up to your problems so well done :T

Have a look at southernscouser's post for newbies at the top of the DFW board. It will tell you about creating an SOA (statement of affairs) which details ALL your income, outgoings and total debts.

If you then start a separate thread on here with your SOA and details you will get lots of helpful people replying to your thread with good advice. Its best to start a separate thread then you don't get missed by people who could help you.

Good luck, i look forward to reading your thread

honey_gem

When I first began to realise I was in huge debt I was ashamed of myself and embarrassed.

Now I am able to talk about it and am not embarrassed anymore as I am dealing with it now.