Are you ashamed of being in debt?

findingmyownway

I do not have massive debts, have completed an SOA and got a good budget sorted out but i just can't face posting it on here. I have a very unidentifyable user name but i still worry someone i know would see it.

Is that weird? Does that mean i havent had a full LBM? I'll be honest, its been flickering for a while on-and-off but im sure its got to full brightness now. Mainly because i am 6 months away from finished PhD and so have to finish lab work, write my thesis and find a job in that time! The chances of me having a job to start the day after i finish here are slim and so i know that gettng rid of my credit cards and saving a couple of months worth of mortgage payments is neccessary sooner rather than later!

I guess i am ashamed of being in debt to be honest. I don't earn a lot but its a managable income - people on here manage on a lot less!

I was at a friends house the other day and Martin was on TV. She didnt have a clue who he was but obviously i did. She started having a rant about how irresponsible people could be to build up such massive debts. Now i know she would never have said that if she knew how i was feeling, but i still didnt confess to being in debt.

So should i own up to people? Or can i keep the whole thing a secret? I have no objection to telling people i 'can't afford' to do stuff - im sure thats pretty standard after 6 years at uni!

I have an OH who earns much more than me. He knows i have a bit of debt (some of its to him!!) and is supportive of me cutting back (pays for meals out and treats me occasionally ). So i guess i am lucky and should stop moaning :rolleyes:

mrsspendalot

I wouldn't say I am ashamed about being in debt, but I don't like to broadcast it either. My family know we have some debt, but have no idea how much. Friends do not know, and my hubby's family don't know either. I have only just started to actually admit to people that we cannot afford stuff .. I guess that is part of my LBM this month. It is actually quite a relief to be able to say I can't afford something, and since having said it a few times, I have found other friends have also discussed about not being able to afford things, so the burden has lessened and I do not feel I am having to keep up with anyone now.

onedayiwill

I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I haven't told my OH about my debt and that I hiding it from him (although I'm sure he realises I have debts he probably doesn't realise how much).

I have a long diary thread here. And to be honest, having introduced him to the Pigsback thread, I half hope he'll wander across to DFW, see my postings and figure it out for himself....

But the debt itself I am not ashamed of because ... well, I am working to get out of it and that makes me very very proud! I tell folk "I don't have any money" when they ask me to do things costing money, but don't tell them about my debts. They don't need to know. But I'm not ashamed of it.

Beth86

I'm not so much ashamed of being in debt but too proud to admit it.
I know if I told my parents they would give me money and not take it back off me. But I want to clear this debt, and be able to say I did it on my own.

And in 3 years time I will be saying that.

fizzel81

not so much ashamed just dont tell everyone as such, only addmitted to my mum on monday how bad things were, i must admit since telling her i wonder if thats why she suggest i move home with the boys for a few months till my life as such is sorted out

MustStopSpending

I'm not ashamed, just annoyed at myself. My debt means I can't buy a bigger house, have lavish holidays or enjoy the money I earn.

I'm on the right track now and that is what matters.

dubgirl

I'm not so much ashamed, more angry with myself for getting in such a mess, although things are getting sorted. My OH was the first person to know about my debt, but aside from him only the other posters on this forum know I have debt. I have not told my friends the extent of my debt, although a few close friends know things are difficult and I have not told any one in my family and could not bring myself to do so. Maybe some time in the future I can.

findingmyownway

yeah maybe 'ashamed' is too strong - i just don't feel like discussing my financial details with people who may judge me IFSWIM.

I think i'm going to consider this as my own personal battle - a game where i make the rules and i will be the winner in the end when everything is cleared! That way, i can tell people i can't afford stuff without having to explain why. And also then the small things i DO choose to spend my money on (all within budget!) can't be judged either.

pigsmightfly

I just prefer that people don't know about it so I suppose in a way I am a bit ashamed.

Only my other half knows about it - I haven't told any of my family or friends.

I suppose though at the end of the day the only way to learn is to do things wrong and I definately won't be using credit or store cards ever again that's for sure :rolleyes:

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Yes I am ashamed - mainly because I'm 42, have £30,000 worth of debt and have nothing to show for it. When I'm down I try to figure what it went on - lets face it its only taken me 3 years to spend!! I have no excuses, no sad stories, no wardrobe full of designer clothes, no expensive car, no exotic holidays and I don't even own my own home!!! I do have 4 beautiful children and a very naive oh and also despite outward appearances a very low self esteem!!! No one else knows the extent of my debt apart from all you lovely people and I am proud to be dealing with it - so side by side I experience shame for my stupidity with money and pride for facing up to it and dealing with it. I also feel a huge amount of gratitude to Martin Lewis and all you people on here - without you all I think my hole would have just got much deeper!!! LOVE AND THANKS TO YOU ALL!!
xx

immoral_angeluk

I'm not ashamed because pretty much everyone I know has some form of debt or another. I'm annoyed that we let it get this far but glad that we stopped it spriralling any further. I'm also proud of our achievements in clearing our debts.