Are you ashamed of being in debt?

Sea78

interesting thread!

I'm not ashamed - upset sometimes, annoyed, embarrassed sometimes. I am a bit of a blabber mouth and tell lots of people. However, they have been really supportive and my mum is fab. I'll always wnated someone to bail me out but thank god they didn't as I would have got myself into the same state. I think I got into debt through niaviety (sp?) and then ignoring the problem!

People do feel they can comment on things I buy (in budget) so I do feel that I need to justify purchases and other things. Mind you, others still rack up the debt. I'v been told many times that I should consolidate, remortgage- not many 'get' the whole point!!

Sea xxx

System

I am ashamed and upset! But am gratified that I am facing up to them.

mrsspendalot

Sea78 wrote: »

I'v been told many times that I should consolidate, remortgage- not many 'get' the whole point!!

I have been trying to talk a friend out of consolidating her debt, but it just isn't sinking in. She certainly hasn't had her LBM yet. I told her about snowballing etc. but she says that is no good for her because her debts aren't on cards. She owes council tax, leccy etc. and a court admin order for a few grand that will take her 25 years to pay off at £15 a month, a car loan in her mums name coz her credit was so bad, etc. I was trying to explain to her that she will be swapping for more expensive APR debt ... but she won't listen and is trying to get a loan. I would get her on here but she hasn't got a computer. I will keep trying though

doitmyself

You can't be born with all this wisdom. There's some contradiction here too along the lines of 'if I hadn't spent it then I'd be able to spend it now'. Well obviously, but that's a bit like having your cake and wanting to eat it too, and it's a wrong perspective IMO, those purchases, whatever they were may not seem quite so good or desirable now but they were at the time.

In a weird sort of way I couldn't imagine not being in debt, it's a way of life for many, certainly in this country and it's not something that starts and ends (like attending school). I know it causes real anguish for some people, there are one or two particularly heart-wrenching accounts on the site here right now, while for others the sheer amount of easily available credit may help fuel such phenomena as the (seemingly) ever increasing price of a house etc. which is another issue and which brings it's own problems (I'm no economist).

The mission to become debt-free is admirable, people set themselves targets and go for it, and some will get there, but what then? I have a feeling it could be a bit like a diet - I've lost a stone so I'll have a donut (and another one, and another one...) ultimately ending up fatter (more in debt) than before. Isn't the same psychology at play here? I don't know (I'm no psychologist either).

Is debt, any debt really such a bad thing? 'Even' Martin Lewis who many on here probably revere says not, and he's right about that. Not something to be ashamed of no, definitely not.

aliG_3

I am so annoyed with myself and slightly ashamed. But am so glad i seem to have had my LBM as have reduced spending. Aim to have everything paid in 3 years.:j

Sea78

doitmyself wrote: »

You can't be born with all this wisdom. There's some contradiction here too along the lines of 'if I hadn't spent it then I'd be able to spend it now'. Well obviously, but that's a bit like having your cake and wanting to eat it too, and it's a wrong perspective IMO, those purchases, whatever they were may not seem quite so good or desirable now but they were at the time.

Is debt, any debt really such a bad thing? 'Even' Martin Lewis who many on here probably revere says not, and he's right about that. Not something to be ashamed of no, definitely not.

I disagree - it was not great things at the time and now I wouldn't 'buy' the same things - I would be using the money to add to the family or contine working part time. Perhaps if I hadn't been through this and had always had loads of money then I would still be spending on things i never needed and weren't really good? Perhaps this is what you're saying anyway!

I think, for me, debt is a bad thing. I've shown I can't control it and will have to avoid it or I may well end up in the same situation.

Sea x

Crown

I am now not ashamed at all when it comes to my debt as I know that im doing the right thing and will pay it off. I have not done a runner or tried to find an easy way out but have confronted it head on and am tackling it even though its going to take years to sort out.

When I first had my LBM I was shocked at the amount of debt I was in and I guess when I had to contact the banks and admit I was out of my depth I was ashamed but to be honest I was more fearful than ashamed.

These days I couldnt give a monkeys about who knows about my debt and I now have become a debt bore by delving into my friends financial situations Why is talking about money in the UK such a Taboo!!!

Sayingthis I dont go about advertising it in public but if anyone was to ask then I havent got a problem.

taplady

yes I am ashamed and embarrased by being in debt but also proud that I'm doing something about it and in 3 1/2 years will be debt free!:j it wasnt all down to careless spending but several bouts of serious illness havent helped at all.
I have told a few close friends but havent felt able to tell my Mum or sister as they're both good with money.

keentobuy

I haven't told anyone at all about my debt. I'm too ashamed and, like many of you, angry at myself.

I earn a good salary now (I didn't always which is why I ended up with so much debt as I was spending on credit cards as my salary was crap).

However, I'm on a DMP but my credit rating is crap. I have to accept that I'm not even in a position to get a mortgage until I sort out my finances and credit rating.

This really gets me down as I see all my friends on or getting on the property ladder.

I really really wish I hadn't been as stupid with money as I have been the past decade.

But now I live within my means. So I'm happy that I've learnt to do that.

poppy_f1

i wasnt really ashamed as such when i was at my worst debt wise, it was more a case of having to say no i couldnt do things with friends cos i was skint, even tho they knew i was earning more than they were
i even lied about how much in debt i was and i can tell you what a great relief it was when i finally came clean to my parents (2 days before my birthday that year) and faced up to the problems