Are you ashamed of being in debt?

4maxine

Ashamed, no. P*$$*d off at myself, Oh YES :mad: .
I have told my family and a few close friends, but my (new) philosophy since my LBM is: I got myself into this so now I have to deal with it. I have been on a DMP for 18 months and I am trying to adapt to my new lifestyle. Being responsible after years of mindless spending is a whole new experience :rolleyes: but I am on the right path (at leat I keep telling myself ).

CAFCGirl

I admit I did go through a small period of feeling ashamed, but I put that down as being part of the lightbulb journey.

Now I wouldnt say I go about telling everyone I'm in debt, but in this day and age I think half the reason why people dont cope/face debts is because they feel totally alone.

Its amazing to me when you tell people you're in debt, how many either say yeah me too but so what get another card, and then how many go yeah me too.... and then it leads onto more conversational points.

Hippychick

I too am slightly embarassed but more peed off at myself.

I get angry with myself when I can see people like my sister who is younger than me and earns a lot less than me, has no debt and can afford a nice house and furnish it well. Why couldn't I have been sensible like that!

Anyway I am dealing with it now and I will get to that point in my life albeit in a couple of years time when my salary can go on savings rather than debt repayments.

livinginhope

I am not ashamed at all,the debt is not our fault,I feel a bit of a victim I have told family and one friend,but I wouldn't tell anyone else,not that I'm ashamed,but they just wouldn't understand,besides,it's none of their business

LIH

Penny2myName

I'm more annoyed with myself then ashamed. I'm also attempting to use my situation as a harsh lesson for the kids. They know due to certain reasons I have ended up taking on more financially then what I can now afford comfortably. The fact they have had to give up their swimming and martial arts lessons is a good give away. My daughter is just under 13 and wants to know the ins and outs of everything, especially when she has to give up something she loves. If I can use the next few years to teach them financial responsibility, then something good will have come out of it. They are due substantial inheritances as well, so I don't want them just blowing it.
My mum has a good idea to the extent of my total debt, adn she knows how bad this month is (she's going to be bailing me out of it for a couple of days) She is disappointed that I landed myself back in it after clawing my way out a few years back, so we are sorta encouraging each other at the moment to become debt free.

sammiboo

I am not ashamed, just annoyed that I have to restrict myself and cant do the things I want to do. I have no one else to blame but myself, but i suppose its made me a better person. I am not spoilt and know i cant get what I want most of the time. I focus my energy on paying off my debts now rather than spending to create debt

GirlRacer_2

I'm not ashamed but I can't believe how stupid I've been.

frugalpam

GirlRacer wrote: »

I'm not ashamed but I can't believe how stupid I've been.

That sums up me exactly, GirlRacer.

If I'd not squandered money over the years, then the cash I'm now having to use to repay debts would have been 'spare' cash. I could've been going on nice holidays, changing my car, etc. But... they're just material things which don't buy true happiness. I'm so much happier with myself now that I'm in control of my finances and have plans in place to deal with it all. This whole experience of my light bulb moment, learning how to budget and economise and appreciate what I've got, is something I maybe needed to happen.

Pam

findingmyownway

livinginhope wrote: »

I am not ashamed at all,the debt is not our fault,I feel a bit of a victim I have told family and one friend,but I wouldn't tell anyone else,not that I'm ashamed,but they just wouldn't understand,besides,it's none of their business

LIH

erm, don't want to be awkward - but who's fault is it if not our own?

lynsayjane

Ashamed is only something I feel when I look at clothes I used to wear (shell suits, yuck!).

As far as my debts go I'm very proud of myself, at 25 I realised that I was overspending and needed to make changes to avoid getting myself into a big mess. I made various changes and did without things, I started budgeting to allow myself a life as well as clearing debts. Since joining here in august last year I have halved my debt (not including mortgage and student loan) and am aiming to be debt free this summer. I could have done it much sooner if I'd given up all non essentials, but I knew I'd never stick to it if there were no fun in life.

I freely discuss my debt and this site as I feel that a big part of the stigma of debt is due to peoples not wanting to be judged or feeling ashamed about it which merely breeds the image of being in debt. One of the first steps in my debt free journey involved admitting to my folks the state I was in and I knwo they are both so proud of all I've achieved since. Ony today I was told by a collegue that she was so impressed that I think of electric costs (convo about phone chargers) as she would never do that. For me if that makes her more aware of switching off things after her then it was a worthwhile discussion.

(sorry I've rambled a little there)