Are you ashamed of being in debt?

piglet6

Yes, I am ashamed of my debt (even though I am pleased that we are now "in control" - original debt was £12,000+, current debt is £3,500 on 0% with more than equivalent in savings so "theoretically" we are debt-free :T).

However, I am eternally grateful to Martin and this site, and recommend it to as many as I can (Mum took a while, but actually requested the DFW book for her last birthday and delighted in telling me that she "took Martin to bed" with her on her birthday!!! - sorry, Martin! :rolleyes:). She's also told all her friends, and there is a bit of hero worship going on amongst the OAPs of East Anglia - sorry again, Martin! :eek: Am now trying to convert everyone else I come into contact with...

Next big aim is to convert Mr P's parents (not an easy job) - they are not in debt and like to live "the good life" - they can afford this, so I can't begrudge them, but I know that for the money they spend, I could teach them to get so much more...! :mad: FIL has even said he doesn't know how Mr P and I live the life we do (and "doesn't want to..." - I get the distinct impression he thinks I am working the streets/pushing illegal substances - which I am most definitely not, by the way!!;) :rotfl:).

Am not giving up, though - I WILL get them signed up to Pigsback (and then take it from there, in baby steps!)...

Piglet

SarahNeedle1872

I don't think anyone should be ashamed of their debt... I know I'm not.
We are all here with different amounts of debt, and we all have our reasons why, but the one thing that is the same for all of us is that we are here, supporting each other to deal with our debt. For that we should all be PROUD!!!

I get mad with myself when I think of all the interest I've paid over the years, and what I could have done with the money, but thats all history now. I have learned from my mistakes, taken comfort and inspiration from this site, and am looking forward to a better future (one day I might be able to afford to buy my own house!?!)

wherediditallgo

I'm not ashamed of being in debt, but I'm very annoyed with myself for having got such a high level of it. I look at the amount of it (just under £23k), & I think of what I could do with that amount of money now, especially when I know a large percentage of it is interest charges. I have no problem saying to friends/family that I can't afford to do something, but I wouldn't dream of telling them any great detail about it. I'm an artistic person (music & poetry), & one of the most annoying things about being in debt is that I won't be able to afford to do some of the things in those fields that I really wanted to. My purse strings will legally be very tight for the next 3 years, but I'll make sure to keep them sufficiently tight for long after that. My freedom has gone, & I never want to be in this position again.

My mother's homilies about money, which used to get on my nerves when I was younger, are coming back to haunt me in a big way. "Never be too proud to use a coupon" & "Look after the pennies, & the pounds will look after themselves" are just 2 of her oft-trotted out sayings that I wish I'd paid more attention to at the time. I've already decided to use a revised SOA as a starting point for a very much streamlined budget from now on, & I found a good moneybox at a car boot sale a few weeks ago that will be really good for storing the small change.

doitmyself

Gosh I don't get this at all. I watched that silly 'Grumpies' program on tv tonite where they were talking about homes - style/architecture/Changing Rooms/Ground Force etc. One of the contributors (no idea who he is) made the point about garden hot tubs, i.e. we've graduated since we all used to wash in the river, we now have indoor bathrooms! Quite right (whoever he is). Another poster here today on another thread asks if he/she should ditch the car? No!!! Do you honestly think the (forgive my history I didn't pay much attention at school) Romans would have marched all those thousands of miles if they'd had a car to carry them??!!

This new 'shameful' attitude to debt strikes me as ridiculous, and retrogressive. Why live like a peasant from the 17th century if you don't have to? I visited a friend and colleague in Madrid last year where, like in many (most?) other places credit is far less easily available. I was amazed at how she'd scrutinise a bill for a couple of coffees that amounted to a quid! I honestly thought to myself Jesus let's buy the F****** shop and make our own coffee, be easier!
basically the 'I can't buy a house now cos I racked up a load of debt on pointless c*** in the past' thing doesn't stand up. Buying a house today is your priority, sure, but yesterday it was something else and tomorrow it'll be something else again.
I think everyone complaining here about how much they're in debt would complain even more if their o/d's/CC's were cancelled with immediate effect. Appreciate it, and use it wisely.

Sea78

doitmyself wrote: »

I think everyone complaining here about how much they're in debt would complain even more if their o/d's/CC's were cancelled with immediate effect. Appreciate it, and use it wisely.

While I think I see the point you are making, and I would agree that yes, I love my car (for example) it's now a matter of whether I can afford it or not based on my income from salary not from salary + credit. Not whether it's easier to use than a bus/walking.

My CCs/o/ds/loan possibilities have all been cancelled and I feel FANTASTIC. I appreciated the facilities, didn't use them wisely and now am living a certain way because of it. I'm not ashamed, but vv angry at myself and how i managed to think in someway it was 'free' money and the magic cash fairy would come and wave her magic wand.

Littlered_3

doitmyself wrote: »

basically the 'I can't buy a house now cos I racked up a load of debt on pointless c*** in the past' thing doesn't stand up. Buying a house today is your priority, sure, but yesterday it was something else and tomorrow it'll be something else again.
I think everyone complaining here about how much they're in debt would complain even more if their o/d's/CC's were cancelled with immediate effect. Appreciate it, and use it wisely.

It's all very well saying "appreciate it, and use it wisely", but I think many people use this board because we didn't use it wisely. And yes, I would love to own my own home one day, it's a significant step for most people, and I don't know if that will be possible because of mistakes I've made with my money. Buying a house is a long term goal for many people, but you can lose sight of that goal when it seems so far away.
I'm in a DMP now, so all credit is out of my reach, it is cancelled with immediate effect. So maybe I will have to "live like a peasant" until I've paid it all back. And maybe in the future I'll make the most of the money I have and not spend money I don't have.

Taadaa

I am really, really annoyed with myself. I had a little bit of debt before - little compared to what it is now - but I paid it all off and saved money up to buy a flat. Four years later, I have got 12x the debt I had before, and want to move to a house, but fear that we won't be able to afford it. If we were debt free, (OH has got twice as much debt again), we could get a mortgage for £250k. I just can't believe how damn stupid I've been. But I don't tell anyone, of couse when someone has done something a little foolish, its natural to feel embarrassed.

We basically had 3 holidays, a £5.5k car, and alot of shoes, clothes, handbags and eating out.

There are no more holidays on the horizon (well, we saved the tokens from the Sun to go to IOW, none abroad), the car has gone which was a huge step cas it made me cry (a beetle, it's a love thing with those!!) and a lot of the rest of the rubbish Ive spent my money on is/has/will be on e bay/car boot. And I don't like eating out anymore, now I know I can eat just as well for a fraction of the price at home.

So overall a big dollop of :mad: a pinch of but at the end of all this I will be :j and I swear if I EVER see a credit card again......:eek:

Hope78

I am totally and untterly ashamed and embarassed with myself for frittering away money and spending like there's no tomorow. I've nothing to show for it when I should be in the prime of my life I'm scrimping and saving but not sure if being ashamed of my actions is the same as being ashamed of my debt??? Only my mum has any clue I'm in debt of a high level my friends all assume because I still live with parents I've got thousands and thousands in the bank - there's no way I could tell them.

welshspendthrift

I am more angry at myself for getting into the situation as I should have learnt by past experience but I still got myself into a debt situation and like others would have had a pretty nice life now if I had been more sensible.

My problem was that I didnt change my spending habits even after and IVA!Stupid or what:mad: Thankfully realised the problem before I got into real trouble again !
Finally after finding this site I am learning to manage my money and spending better so I will get this sorted. Thanks for all the advice and support on here

doitmyself

Just to keep this intersting thread going a bit longer I have to say I find the efforts you read about on here that people are making to reduce/clear their debts are, for the most part certainly utterly commendable.

I also think that the credit privilege, - and it is a privilege afforded to us in the UK as a consequence of banking practise here should not be regarded as the devil incarnate, and I certainly don't feel that anyone should beat themselves up for, what may in hindsight be some bad decisions in the past but which were the right thing to do at the time. Hindsight's a wonderful thing.
But yeah, pay off the debts...