Trying for a Baby Part 8

teaandcakeordeath

abis21 wrote: »

Teaandcakeordeath (can we call you TCD?? I'll get so lazy having to write out your full name, lol) The duo thing sounds interesting. How long have you been using it? I've got irregular cycles like you too - between 30 and 48 days. I had blood work done this last month, seem to be ovulating fine and baseline hormones were fine, but they said I may still have PCOS. Will be following your story, as you sound very similar to me :cool:

TCD is fine- wish I'd picked a shorter name myself to be honest!

I can't believe what a douche your doctor was to you. I have PCOS and I know how hard it is to lose weight (I know it's only suspected with you but if you're finding it hard to lose weight it's another indicator). It's taken me about 4 years to lose weight from 14 stone 8 (BMI 32) to my current 12 stone 2 (BMI 26). It's been slow with my fair share of throwing my hands up and giving in (my weight comes off s l o w l y...) but the best diet I have found was Slimming World- I found that it helped me to choose healthier (and cheaper!) food and also kept my cavernous stomach full!

I'm back on the bandwagon come the 2nd January (with my insanity DVD to help) and I hope to get within 'normal' BMI limits for the first time since age 19! We should definitely support each other on our weight loss- anything to get that BFP!

I *think* I might have ovulated looking at my temps but I'm not sure and Duo have freaked me out a little asking for more medical information from me (about my PCOS/ endometriosis and blood results)- I hope they haven't spotted anything dire in the 15 days I've been wearing it! They want my husband to have a sperm analysis and are sending us a free home kit. I'm trying to figure out how to use it without him knowing as it's a nightmare trying to get him to do anything with regards to testing (he thinks it'll reveal bad things about his fertility and freaks out)... any ideas ladies?

I've inputted all of my data onto a FF chart but I don't know how to link it here- any advice on it would be appreciated!

kellykins

Hello ladies...
Hope you've all had a lovely Xmas?

We had a pretty quiet one.. But the best part was not having to cook- so much less stressful... We decided to go to our local pub instead! Got some lovely presents... It was all over pretty quickly though as I was working yesterday.

Had a quick read through ..huge Christmas hugs to those that need it...xx

I'm currently waiting ovulation... My first cycle of testing... Used them for last 3 days... Just a faint line... Ff says I should ovulate tomorrow...

Anyway.. Snuggled on the sofa with a blanket ATM... Saving some energy...;)

Kel x x

TeamLowe

big loves to all the larger ladies lol!

Abis weight does have a large bearing on your cycle,especially if pcos. fat cells produce oestrogen which can delay or prevent ovulation.
it's also why men get moobs! lol

if Iwas you I would look at it as you know you can get pregnant at a certain weight, so aim for that. low go diets are best for the pcos ladies and exercise really gives it a boost,especially weight lifting

metformin is not licensed foe anything other than the treatment of diabetes so how happy GPs are to prescribe it really is a matter of their opinion, so I'm not surprise that douche bag got all uppity

how are your cycles abis? if they're irregular I'd really push to see a gynaecologist, they're so much more empathetic as they actually know what they're on about. although make no bones about it, they would also say that losing weight is the best thing you can do to improve things

I'm starting back at the gym and on the diet 1st January and make it my focus until my gynae appointment for Clomid in March to give it the best chance of working. I'm aiming to lose 10% of my body weight to get my bmi down to 35, still not fantastic but the weight I got pregnant at before so that gives me motivation x

claire16c

abis21 wrote: »

I'm back at work too Birdie. DH is at home, but he gets more holidays than me and has to use them up before the end of 2012. DD is at her dads anyways, so I wouldn't be exactly doing much more at home.

Claire - big hugs, it is so sad At some point, you will get more happy days than sad days, and then the sad days with become even further apart. It just takes time and a lot of sadness and tears in the meantime

Well, the docs appt couldn't have gone much worse :(:cry:

My last blood test still didn't confirm ovulation, but that could be because it was on 3DPO & 10DPO and that it had peaked in the middle of that, but the blood tests missed that.

She said the reason I had irregular cycles was because I was overweight. She said I would have 28 day cycles if I had a normal BMI.

I asked about possible PCOS and she said all women have that to a certain extent especially overweight women. I asked about prescribing metaformin and she said it wasn't suitable for when you were TTC?!

She weighed me and told me I had put on a lot of weight (I obviously did know this, have taken to comfort eating too much since the miscarriage ).

She said they would monitor ovulation for a couple more cycles, so gave me a couple more blood test referrals for CD21 (or 7DPO in my case)

She said the best thing I could do was to "stop trying" :mad:

I can't remember at what point I started crying, but then I couldn't stop crying. She said she was sorry if she upset me, but that I was putting too much stress on myself and that seriously I needed to stop trying. I pointed out to her that you can't get pregnant without having sex, and that as my cycles are so irregular I need to pinpoint ovulation as otherwise I can be doing it all at the wrong time. She told me about the time she got pregnant and she only had sex once on CD18. Super. Most helpful. Wouldn't really help me if I was having a 48 day cycle now would it?!?!

She said they wouldn't refer me as I hadn't been trying 12 months since my loss, and that I was too overweight. She said it showed that I "could get pregnant", even tho I explained that it was a partial molar with 2 sperm entering 1 egg which is obviously not right. She said that "I done that now, so would be ok next time!"

I wish I hadn't gone to be honest. Am in a right ol state with myself now. I know I'm overweight, but I also know that other overweight people get pregnant too. I am usually quite good at dieting, but when I tried early December I found that I was struggling mentally as food is my comfort when I am sad. I know thats wrong, but I am struggling to break the cycle on that one.

The other doctor I was seeing was so much nicer about it all. I should have just waited for her to come back.

I feel so useless and sad.

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

aaah I am SO angry for you!!!

Honestly I have just had a friend round and weve been talking about cycles and drs and concluded they really just jump to weight as as cause when its probably nothing to do with it!!

Both me and my friend are 'underweight' but only compared to the silly bmi/population and when Im in Asia Im the same as every other woman there!

We both eat fine but we both have irregular cycles.

When she went to her booking in appt with the midwife her bmi was just under 18 so they said you need to have GP led care, and several extra dating scans, because you might have a small baby that doesnt grow properly, and then they got her DH in to the drs to ask him if his wife was eating properly, and after being asked on several occasions he got really annoyed about this.

However at my booking in appt, where I also had a bmi of 17, my midwife simply said, Aslong as youre eating fine Im happy - I had a sister just like you, so slim could eat whatever she wanted and went onto have healthy twins. And then said she was a bit jealous of me and that was the end of it!

So clearly because she had experience of having a sister who was very light she knew not to worry and leap on it, unlike my friends midwife. She ended up having all these scans and after a while they told her not to come back for anymore because it was a waste of time and the baby was fine.

After my 'miscarriage' - I really hate that word right now - I asked the dr about pcos and she said there were no cysts on my ovaries so she doesnt think Ive got that. So I said why have i got weird cycles then, and she said maybe its because youre underweight? And then even started on about an over active thyroid gland condition because I had a high pulse rate - I think that was because i was freaked out in a hospital and very upset!

I said yes I have lost a few pounds recently due to morning sickness and now the stress and horror of this happening to me, but even when my bmi was about 18.5 I had odd cycles. And she was like oh but thats still very small. I tried explaining that I am naturally like this, so is my sister, I can eat for england etc etc.

Then she said perhaps limit your exercise? to which DH almost collapsed with laughter. I was like 'err exercise?? I occasionaly jump about to the wii Just Dance a few times a year but thats it!'

Plus my friends sisters are both bigger than her, and apparently their cycles are completely irregular too - so being a perfect size doesnt not equal 28 day cycles.

Infact my friend saw a dr friend a while ago who specialises in gynae and she said more women have irregular cycles than regular.

So me and my friend have come to the conclusion that weight is just something they will pull up with when they cant think of anything else.

And what an idiot telling you to just stop. What a stupid thing to say.

Also - all this does is add more stress. Since Ive come out of the hospital Ive already put 3 pounds on but I know nothing else will go on unless I stuff myself to the point of being sick and Im starting to obsess over what Im eating each day on a !!!!!!! calorie counter app to make sure its enough, I think Im going a bit mad. And Im sure if you are overweight, talking to someone like that is only going to lead them to comfort eat.

Its as hard for me to put weight on as it is for other people to loose it, so although Im at the other end of the scale - no pun intended! its honestly as frustrating to have someone just point that out every 5 minutes.

TeamLowe

oh and my Christmas was very happy and only a little bit of empty womb sadness, so a big improvement on last year cousin's wife has beautiful bump though hope that's me next year x x

becca0417

Testing List
amus - Saturday 29th December - Hopeful for a New Year BFP!

December graduates
-Winner of November BFP predictions: No-one even close! Need a few more thismonth... and it's started with Lao_Cat, congratulations!

Rumfeeble –BFP 10th December 2012
MV - BFP 15th December 2012

December BFP predictions

becca0417 - 4
vic3 - 5
Squ1rrel - 6
NoAngel - 6
Elsie - 7
Birdie85 - 7
kellykins - 7
Miffymoo - 7
RazWaz - 7
Metranil Vavin - 8
Angeltreats - 8
lao_cat - 9
onlywayisup - 10
Purcy81 - 10
Marie1 - 10
Vesper - 10
Avis - 11
lemonmelon - 11
kte - 12
rumfeeble - 12
Amyloofoo - a CRAZILY optimistic 13. Lets all hope!

Thread Graduates:

Hopefor3 BFP 08/11/12
Anderson BFP 13/11/12
Lao_Cat BFP 07/12/12
Rumfeeble BFP 10/12/12
Metranil Vavin BFP 15/12/12

kellykins

:mad:

So just done another opk and it was totally negative.... So i had a faint line x 2 yesterday and a faint line the day before and nothing today... ..

Have I ovulated already? Should I test again later today? Sorry for the stupid questions but I'm totally new to this...

And I will also be joining in on the loosing some weight.. I've put on a stone this year... After getting to goal with ww 2 years ago.. I'm so annoyed... But im still sat here with a massive box of chocolates and block of cheese... !!:D

abis21

Birdie - I'm up for the weekly weigh ins and confessionals. I didn't like the slimming world leader really, just didn't gel with her. I do like having someone to 'answer to' tho if you get me. Someone to have to tell if I have been naughty and had a gain. I haven't seen any CBFM deals. I can pinpoint ov with temping and OPKs so I haven't bought one.

Code - I used to be able to lose weight fairly easily, but in the past year or 2 its been a lot more difficult. I do put it on very easily too. When I was pregnant with DD I put on 5.5 stone, but then lost 5 stone also within 8 months after giving birth. I am a terrible yoyo dieter at the very top weight of the yoyo I don't like being this size, but I also find it very hard to diet when I am not focussed and in the zone - and so far this year I just haven't been. I have been thinking that basically I would get pregnant and deal with the weight afterwards. When I got pregnant I was so ill with the molar that I lost a stone in 3 weeks, and I thought aftewards it would do me a lot of good to try and keep that off. And then I went and stuck that stone, and an extra 1.5 stone on since the miscarriage :o I suspect that the doctor may have helped get my head out the sand its been stuck in for some time :o I did say to my mum that we will start swimming. I am defo aiming to lose 10% of my body weight to begin with and see how it goes. I used to love zumba, but stopped doing it when we started TTC as I heard that the twisting hip action can bring about early miscarriage. And after suffering a miscarriage I am frightened about doing things now which might make that happen again.

Firefly - I think I will give it this cycle and then go back to another doctor. I feel a bit, well stupid going back straight away. I'm gonna give soy a go as well this cycle, so fingers crossed I don't need the appointment

Lilymay - thank you for the soy info. I got some 40mg tablets from tescos, and am going to try CD3-7 I think. Think I will start at 40 or 80mg and see how I go from there. I do get a very positive OPK at ov time, and my temp goes up nicely. Haven't had much EWCM since the miscarriage really tho, but I do have preseed and conceive plus (but also don't really need any lube so keep forgetting to use them!).

MrsTM - The more the merrier I think to join in the getting fit for our babies campaign I think. :cool:

TCD - I only have suspected PCOS. I do get lots of spots, but I wouldn't say I was very hairy. I didn't used to have much problems losing weight but I do these days. I had an ultrasound with my missed miscarriage and I was noted as having 'unremarkable ovaries' so I would say there was no evidence of cysts from that. As for your chart, when you are logged in there is a sharing tab, click on that and then get code. Copy the bbcode code and paste it in a reply on this thread. There then will normally be a link to it in the lists, but they have gone a bit haywire at the mo. I renamed mine to Abis21* so it can be changed on the lists - it comes up normally saying My Ovulation Chart. Here is mine: Abis21*

Kellykins - Hope you manage to catch the eggy :cool:

Teamlowe - My cycles are really irregular. Since the miscarriage they have been 35, 31, 32, 48, 38. Thanks for the info - will look in to a low GI diet. I think the other doctor may help me, as she suffered herself and she helped my friend who was suffering from secondary infertility as well. I probably should have waited to see her, but in a way its a good thing I suppose cos after the tears have stopped I can see that yes I do need to do something about it. We can all motivate each other hopefully :cool: Hope we all have beautiful bumps soon :A

Claire - Thank you. I think it was the 'stop trying' line that upset me the most. Its so stupid to say that. If ever I have spoken to friends this is usually their advice too. My brother suggested I went back on the pill for a year to relieve my stress of not being able to get pregnant. :mad: Hmmm, yes, because that would help someone who is desperate for a baby!!! I know people say things cos they don't understand what its like, but still!! Going on the pill is NOT going to help my stress levels. My heart hurts from not having a baby. The doctor also said "am I going to get a smile out of you before you go" like she was speaking to a 3 year old who had just lost a teddy or something :mad::mad::mad: Think she would have given me a lolly if she hadn't just told me I was too fat. They checked my thyroid function and cholesterol n stuff on my first lot of bloods and they all came back fine. I hate the irregular cycles. I would much prefer not to temp or do OPKs but without them I find it much more stressful as I just don't know where I am and when ov or AF is due.

becca0417

Two week Wait (New Year BFP Hopefuls)
CD71 littleme - 57DPO:cool:
CD68 g1rlyg1rl - 52DPO :cool:
CD101 benhope - 35DPO :cool:
CD35 becca0417* – 20DPO :cool:
CD36 RazWaz - 19DPO :cool:
CD31 NoAngel - 16DPO :cool:
CD29 Tinkwings -13DPO :cool:
CD29 Leopardlady-13DPO :cool:
CD27 Purcy – 9DPO :cool:
CD20 Katy29 - 5DPO :cool:
CD20 Hopelass - 3DPO :cool:
CD26 Birdie85* - 2DPO :cool:
CD? victoria270385 - ?DPO :cool:

"If in doubt - BD" Zone (Christmas/New Year BD-ers)
CD144 ticklepenny - Awaiting ov
CD141 mssas - Awaiting ov
CD121 Lilian1977 - Awaiting ov
CD100 Gemmzie - Awaiting ov
CD88 JoJoB - Awaiting ov
CD72 Lily_The_Legend - Awaiting ov
CD72 coops228 - Awaiting ov
CD64 abailey- Awaiting ov
CD60 i love holidays- Awaiting ov
CD51 Toothfairy - Awaiting ov
CD43 Beautybutterfly - Awaiting ov
CD39 Marie – Awaiting ov
CD34 Squ1rrel5- Awaiting ov
CD33 Sidney88 - Awaiting ov
CD29 amus - Awaiting ov
CD28 Loulou123 - Awaiting ov
CD26 kte* - Awaiting ov
CD26 Cozza123 - Awaiting ov
CD23 Tealover– Awaiting ov
CD22 TeamLowe– Awaiting ov
CD22 vic3 - Awaiting ov
CD22 teaandcakeordeath - Awaiting ov
CD19 amyloofoo - Awaiting ov
CD19 Kellykins - Awaiting ov
CD18 firefly369- Awaiting ov
CD17 welsh_cosmic - Awaiting ov
CD16 lilymay*- Awaiting ov
CD13 COMP*- Awaiting ov
CD12 Lilmissmup- Awaiting ov
CD12 lemonmelon - Awaiting ov
CD10 Codemonkey - Awaiting ov
CD9 Vesper -Awaiting ov
CD8 Thriftylass - Awaiting ov
CD8 Trina - Awaiting ov
CD8 MiffyMoo* - Awaiting ov
CD8 maire - Awaiting ov
CD8 Lara44 - Awaiting ov
fraz_babe - do you know your CD, and/or DPO? Remember to put updates in pink so I see it please

"Champage and Christmas Chocolate" zone
CD7 MrsHappy- Awaiting ov
CD7 Elsie37- Awaiting ov
CD7 Mrs_T_M - Awaiting ov
CD7 apple*pie – Awaiting ov
CD6 Nicp60* - Awaiting ov
CD5 Goodvibes - Awaiting ov
CD5 Angeltreats- Awaiting ov
CD4 Amy_85 - Awaiting ov
CD2 Bigzippy - Awaiting ov
CD2 jovie - Awaiting ov
CD1 Abis21*- Awaiting ov

Fannyanna's own special list
CD? Fannyanna - Awaiting ov

Those with * sometimes uses conceive plus/preseed.
The names in blue has a link to their Fertility Friend chart.
When posting updates, can you please do them in Magenta so it's easy to spot. This threadis all about support, so remember to click thanks on as many posts as you can! It makes us all feel loved.

claire16c

kellykins wrote: »

:mad:

So just done another opk and it was totally negative.... So i had a faint line x 2 yesterday and a faint line the day before and nothing today... ..

Have I ovulated already? Should I test again later today? Sorry for the stupid questions but I'm totally new to this...

And I will also be joining in on the loosing some weight.. I've put on a stone this year... After getting to goal with ww 2 years ago.. I'm so annoyed... But im still sat here with a massive box of chocolates and block of cheese... !!:D

I would assume you havent ovulated and keep testing.

FF will only go on an average and can be wrong especially if youre new to it or irregular cycles. You can only tell you ovulated once your temp has risen for 3 days.

Keep doing the opks. Ive had them go from faint to nothing to faint, to nothing... to BOOM STRONG LINE! lol

Do it after 11am if you can, and not first urine of the day.

abis21 wrote: »

Claire - Thank you. I think it was the 'stop trying' line that upset me the most. Its so stupid to say that. If ever I have spoken to friends this is usually their advice too. My brother suggested I went back on the pill for a year to relieve my stress of not being able to get pregnant. :mad: Hmmm, yes, because that would help someone who is desperate for a baby!!! I know people say things cos they don't understand what its like, but still!! Going on the pill is NOT going to help my stress levels. My heart hurts from not having a baby. The doctor also said "am I going to get a smile out of you before you go" like she was speaking to a 3 year old who had just lost a teddy or something :mad::mad::mad: Think she would have given me a lolly if she hadn't just told me I was too fat. They checked my thyroid function and cholesterol n stuff on my first lot of bloods and they all came back fine. I hate the irregular cycles. I would much prefer not to temp or do OPKs but without them I find it much more stressful as I just don't know where I am and when ov or AF is due.

Oh my goodness HOW insensitive??

Im going to the drs hopefully if I can get an appt tomorrow as Im not ready to go back to work next week, I hope I dont get one like that!! Every time I try to be strong I picture my baby on the screen and burst into tears.

Yeah go on the pill - the best known way of getting pregnant :mad:

Im the same, I am way more stressed if I dont temp or do opks or I dont know where I am or when my AF is coming.

Plus sometimes I get EWCM right before ov, and other times like 6 days before so I cant just rely on that.

For me charting and temping IS relaxing!

One good thing - touch wood - I think Ive competely stopped bleeding :T