He's been paying for webcam sex

Labsettings

I'd be very upset if it was my partner.

If it's 1:1 interaction, then it doesn't matter if it's a stranger, a lady he met in the pub, or the milkman (though that one would be a shock!), he's wanting to perform sexual acts with someone other than me. I'd be devastated and hard to deal with, and if he continued to do so when I'd told him I was really unhappy, well I'd certainly take some kind of action about it.

However, you have 2 (and a half) reasons why you guys should definitely sit down and talk about it all. Your kids deserve to have their parents try and work through problems before any drastic action definitely.

Errata

BugglyB wrote: »

Why is that? Its not going to hurt them. Sexual desire is natural - theres nothing shameful or pathetic about it.

I'm struggling to understand what's natural about having a sexual experience with a computer screen.

0^0

Errata wrote: »

I'm struggling to understand what's natural about having a sexual experience with a computer screen.

Bit ironic dont you think, seeing as you are having a conversation with a computer screen.;)

thehappybutterfly

BugglyB wrote: »

Why is that? Its not going to hurt them. Sexual desire is natural - theres nothing shameful or pathetic about it.

:mad:

BugglyB, that is wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to begin. You're telling me that if your young kiddies walked in on your man having a !!!! in front of a computer with a half naked stranger on the screen doing god knows what, you'd be fine? "Oh hello, kids, Daddy's busy right now. I'll be with you in 5 minutes"

I'm shocked.

amyloofoo

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

:mad:

BugglyB, that is wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to begin. You're telling me that if your young kiddies walked in on your man having a !!!! in front of a computer with a half naked stranger on the screen doing god knows what, you'd be fine? "Oh hello, kids, Daddy's busy right now. I'll be with you in 5 minutes"

I'm shocked.

Well yes, that would be shocking... but given they could have a computer in their bedroom / office or an *ahem* portable laptop why would the children be more likely to be impacted by this than by him having a solitary 'man moment', or their parents watching !!!!!! as a couple, or conceiving their sibling? I think if he was doing this in the lounge / children's bedroom / somewhere kids are likely to wander in to then the OP would have been concerned about that!

And as for struggling to see what's normal about having a sexual experience in front of a screen; I struggle to appreciate how someone can have a sexual experience with someone who has a moustache or who likes country music :rotfl:Everyone's different but that doesn't make them wrong.

thehappybutterfly

amyloofoo wrote: »

Well yes, that would be shocking... but given they could have a computer in their bedroom / office or an *ahem* portable laptop why would the children be more likely to be impacted by this than by him having a solitary 'man moment', or their parents watching !!!!!! as a couple, or conceiving their sibling? I think if he was doing this in the lounge / children's bedroom / somewhere kids are likely to wander in to then the OP would have been concerned about that!

And as for struggling to see what's normal about having a sexual experience in front of a screen; I struggle to appreciate how someone can have a sexual experience with someone who has a moustache or who likes country music :rotfl:Everyone's different but that doesn't make them wrong.

There are no off-limits areas in my home. My kids are free to go where they like within reason. When my sister and I were young, we were made to feel like outcasts in our own home as my dad and stepmum had a private lounge which we weren't allowed into and a lock on their bedroom door. I swore my kids would never be made to feel unwelcome in their own home with locks on doors.

NewKittenHelp

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

:mad:

BugglyB, that is wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to begin. You're telling me that if your young kiddies walked in on your man having a !!!! in front of a computer with a half naked stranger on the screen doing god knows what, you'd be fine? "Oh hello, kids, Daddy's busy right now. I'll be with you in 5 minutes"

I'm shocked.

It doesn't appear that she is saying that, what with her answering a post about sleeping children.

NewKittenHelp

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

There are no off-limits areas in my home. My kids are free to go where they like within reason. When my sister and I were young, we were made to feel like outcasts in our own home as my dad and stepmum had a private lounge which we weren't allowed into and a lock on their bedroom door. I swore my kids would never be made to feel unwelcome in their own home with locks on doors.

"Within limits" - so there are limits.

meritaten

jeez - some of you are so 'liberal'! apparently you would be quite happy for your spouses to pay for webcam sex while you were in another room!
I find that weird!

I wonder how you would all feel if it was YOUR husbands? would you all be smugly saying 'but its not really cheating'?

amyloofoo

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

There are no off-limits areas in my home. My kids are free to go where they like within reason. When my sister and I were young, we were made to feel like outcasts in our own home as my dad and stepmum had a private lounge which we weren't allowed into and a lock on their bedroom door. I swore my kids would never be made to feel unwelcome in their own home with locks on doors.

Butterfly, that sounds horrible, and I can understand why you feel the way you do. However most people do have times / places in their house where children would be expected to ask or knock before going in... not because their children aren't welcome, but because parents need their own space too, whether for sex, personal care, because they're watching something unsuitable for little eyes or wrapping presents. I walked in on my aunties watching !!!!!! / messing around with boyfriends multiple times when I was younger; and I can honestly say that none of that disturbed me more than hearing my Aunty waxing her legs then investigating what had hurt her :eek: I admit I'm playing Devil's advocate a bit because I don't know what room the OP's partner was in and whether the kids regularly go in there; but I think it's a bit unrealistic to expect parents to never again do anything that they wouldn't want their children to walk in on... after all, then no-one would have any siblings :rotfl: