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Mojisola

His story just doesn't ring true for me. He can't live in the house because it's "hers" and not "ours" and that's making him feel less than a man but he's quite wiling to live off her earnings and not contribute anything to the bills, even though he's there all week and she's not?

CH27

OP protect yourself from this man as everything you say sends shivers down my spine.

xoxo2012

FlacosFloozie wrote: »

This is a really worrying situation. He's living off you (not paying rent or bills) and suddenly wants to be on the deeds?
Either he's a total control freak and will continue to subject you to emotional abuse or he's having serious financial troubles and was planning to use the house as security.
I'd really advise you to get out now. If not he can rent somewhere and stay over the 2 days you're around. That way he's responsible for his own outgoings and doesn't have to live somewhere he's not happy.
My husband has been a student for years and is now looking for work. My wages have paid for everything the last few years but it has always been our money and our stuff. He has never expressed any issues with it not really being his. When he's earning he'll contribute financially for now its in different ways. Does your partner help with the housework and maintenace? If he was earning regularly would he be prepared to split things 50/50? If not then, I'm sorry, but it really doesn't sound like there's a future for you two.

When he had regular work (a few months ago at the least) he paid his own rent before we moved and i paid a very large majority of the bills and all the food shopping etc which wasn't an issue at all however now he wants nothing to do with this house - therefore he wants to pay nothing. He now says he wants to stay but that the house will end us if something isnt done about it and he wont be contributing in anyway.

xoxo2012

Yorkie1 wrote: »

You need to be aware of the following facts, OP:

3. If you sell your property less than 6 months after buying it, it is highly unlikley that a buyer will be able to get a mortgage (money laundering regs).

4. In order to let your property out, you need to either get consent to let from your mortgage lender or to convert to a BTL mortgage.

Given that it's only a short time since you moved in, if you asked your lender for CTL, they are highly likely to think that you always intended to let it out - i.e. that your initial application was based on false information - and that you are trying to circumvent the higher interest rates / criteria for a BTL. That may well lead to a refusal for CTL.

Have you looked at BTL mortgage rates? Would you have the necessary equity and rental income, even if you could find a lender who allowed under 25s to have such mortgages?

7. Wills. You are now a property owner. It's always wise to have a will, but consider carefully who you wish to inherit should anything happen to you. You are only 21 - do you really want him to inherit this house whilst you are not yet married and he is exerting such pressure on you?
.

hey yorkie!

Thanks for the advice and info! Yeah Ive made him fully aware i cant rent or sell the property - the only other property Ive ever owned i came across issues that addressed the points you'v e made - so i know selling wouldn't be an option and BTL im under 25 and all the hassle interest rates etc.....

I explained to him the bank would have to check not only me but him for a joint mortgage and with a sporadic and irregular income i doubt we would have been able to recieve a joint mortgage to be honest but these things don't register with him.

xoxo2012

Mojisola wrote: »

His story just doesn't ring true for me. He can't live in the house because it's "hers" and not "ours" and that's making him feel less than a man but he's quite wiling to live off her earnings and not contribute anything to the bills, even though he's there all week and she's not?

That is exactly what he has said : / its a complete joke.... many people would be happy to have a roof over there heads given work these days. All he sees is that property is mine and therefore he wants nothing to do with it .... he has also made clear he will stay cause he doesn't want to loose us however he will leave at some point or the house will be the end of us.... to me that spells out..... its already the end.

All for being the sole owner of a property i wont even be home to live in half the time - a property i purchased for us and so he had a place with me.

Could of had some very nice holidays with that money ...... excuse the joke however truly getting to my wits end this morning : )

Lotus-eater

xoxo2012 wrote: »

When he had regular work (a few months ago at the least) he paid his own rent before we moved and i paid a very large majority of the bills and all the food shopping etc which wasn't an issue at all however now he wants nothing to do with this house - therefore he wants to pay nothing. He now says he wants to stay but that the house will end us if something isnt done about it and he wont be contributing in anyway.

What a nice bloke!

I hardly ever say this, but you will be so much better off without him, he will drag you down for the rest of your life, until he finds something better to go to.

CRANKY40

Stop letting him call all the shots. Tell him you've thought about it and you couldn't cope with it making him so unhappy, so yes, it will be better if he moves out. He chose the house but now he doesn't like it so he won't pay towards anything......please, please tell him to leave.

When I met my husband I had a flat and he still lived at home. As the house we bought was a "project", we kept my flat for a few months so we could do some of the bigger building work without living in a building site. The mortgage for our new home was in his name as I still had a mortgage on the flat. When the house was just about liveable in, we sold the flat, and all of the profits were used to make a kitchen in the new house. The mortgage was still just in his name. The mortgage stayed in his name until I was widowed and the life insurance paid it off, so the house is mine now.

It never bothered me whose name was on the mortgage as it was our home and we'd both put money into it. This is normal. Your boyfriend's behaviour isn't. By the way, I chose our house when my husband was a way at sea. He signed for the mortgage by satellite fax and the first time he saw it was when we picked up the keys because we owned it. He loved the house and was happy here.

Your boyfriend is just a sponger. Pack his stuff and move him out. I know it's hard, but you're worth so much more than putting up with such a misery guts.

Pollycat

xoxo2012
I feel I owe you an apology.

I posted on your thread right at the beginning, before you clarified that your partner had been fully involved in viewing the house and all the other stuff.

I did say that your (1st) post came across (to me) as a bit 'I, I, I,' and 'me, me, me'.

But as more and more information about your partner and his attitude has come out in your subsequent posts, I think you should think 'I, I, I' and 'me, me, me' because this guy certainly isn't considering you at all.

You sound like you have your head screwed on right, I wish you well in whatever you decide to do.

burnoutbabe

xoxo2012 wrote: »

I explained to him the bank would have to check not only me but him for a joint mortgage and with a sporadic and irregular income i doubt we would have been able to recieve a joint mortgage to be honest but these things don't register with him.

he would get on the mortgage, how do you think non working spouses own property with their husbands. His income may well be disregarded but thats not the same.

Refusing to pay the bills is beyond childish, he gets every benefit out of the elec and gas that you do! Maybe not the mortgage, as I mentioned I don't ask my live in bf for rent as i don;t want any issues on him claiming the property and all mortgage payments are for my benefit anyway. So i sort of see that one. But bills? food? madness. Evict him!

Mojisola

xoxo2012 wrote: »

he has also made clear he will stay cause he doesn't want to loose us however he will leave at some point or the house will be the end of us.... to me that spells out..... its already the end.

Seriously! He doesn't want to lose the freeloading life he's got used to.

If he had any regard (let alone love) for you as a person, he would not be treating you like this. The next few months might be hard but think on it as a lucky escape. Having achieved what you have at such a young age, you've got a good future ahead of you.