How many children?....

LouBlue

I never ever ask anyone if they are going to start a family or add to it. What if they can't? Its such a personal thing and the person saying it, rarely says it out of kindness. I usually find the people banging on to me about when am I going to have kids, are the ones who are not overly happy with their lot, kids everywhere, and seem ticked off that me and OH can disappear for a w/e away whenever we feel like it. Just as I wouldn't ask them why they wanted kids, they shouldn't be asking me why I don't at the moment.

Pinklepurr

Two. A boy and then a girl two years later.

kingfisher1961

We tried for years without success including 3 IVF attempts but sadly it wasn't to be. We went down the adoption route and now have two lovely boys of 11 and 8. We have our problems but we couldn't love our boys any more even if they were really our own.

I still find it hard to this day that we couldn't have our own.

Anyone going through the same as us I wish you well.

madhouseof4

I have 2 sons, aged almost 6 and almost 3. I am ALWAYS getting asked when I am going to try for a girl or if I am disappointed that we don't have a girl. People tend to shut up and look at me blankley when I tell them that I wouldn't mind what i had if I was blessed with another baby, so long as it was healthy (youngest has a multitude of health problems).

I wouldn't dare comment or ask questions about the life choices people make, it is such a personal thing. How do you know that the person you are asking can't have children or perhaps they have suffered multiple miscarriages? Also why would I be dissapointed with my second son? He is gorgeous, brilliant, wonderful and I wouldn't be without him!

As to whether or not we stick with 2 or go for 1 more, who knows...never say never!

silverbirch_3

We have 4, Boy, girl, boy, girl, oldest 15, youngest 6 and i want more. Husband has finally agreed after 2 years and we are about to start trying. People always look at me in amazment when i tell them i have 4 and my mom repeatedly tells me i can't have anymore as she couldn't cope!! What, she only has them for a couple of hours every few weeks and this is because she wants them, not so we can go out.

nearlyrich

I have 2 a boy 21 and a girl almost 20, my DH has some too (and grandchildren!!) and I am close to my nieces and nephews. I think it's really rude to comment on other people's choices with regard to children.

Carmina_Piranha_3

i've had a selection of comments :rotfl:

my first child was a surprise while i was at uni so certain people thought i wouldn't want to keep him.

with my second child we'd been trying for years while people kept asking when were we going to have another.

we also get comments about the 9 year age gap between them.

when i got pregnant just 6 months after roo was born i got the 'haven't you got a TV' comments, and my gran was really cross and thought my husband should have 'left me alone' :eek: when i miscarried she even said it was a 'blessing in disguise' :rolleyes:

and now that i've miscarried people keep asking if we are trying again. given that it took 3 years of trying before i got pregnant with roo i think that's pretty insensitive - i can only imagine how it would feel if i was trying for another and it wasn't working, after a miscarriage.

and then there are a couple of people who think that because we're not trying again that we didn't really want the one we lost :mad:

no matter what you do there will be plenty of people ready to ask why you aren't doing it exactly the same as they are :rolleyes:

dlb

I have 4, boys aged 11,10 + 9 and girl 4, i used to get asked all the time before dd came along bet you would love a girl, did you have 3 because you were trying for a girl!!!!
And now i get comments like, oh you got your little girl a last, or you have 4 dont you have a tv at your house!!!! Whens the next one due!!
Makes me so bloody mad!! Its nothing to do with anyone else.But i just bite my lip and smile!!

lottee

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way - I have 1 child, & have no intention of another. I think as soon as he 'popped' out I was being asked 'When is the next one then?' DS is 5 this year, will be starting school & will be off my hands - so to speak. Why would I want to start all over again? People have also told me that I am being selfish - as he will not only be an 'only' child, but a 'lonely' child also !!! How rude?! Don't get me wrong, I love him with all my heart, & would do anything for him, but I'm not as, shall we say 'maternal' as most/a lot of women are.

I am starting to get the 'Oooh, there is too much of a gap now' comments, which TBH, are starting to wind me up as much as the 'When is the next one?' !!!

As Loublue stated, it can be a very personal & touchy subject/question. How do people not know that we have been trying for the past 5 years unsucessfully?

nickyhutch

I was told at 22 that I wouldn't have children without treatment, and wasn't bothered as I thought I didn't want any. Surprise, surprise, I found I was pregnant at 23, and now have a 12 year old son who is, of course, the best thing to ever have happened to me, and a complet wonder child!).

Ever since, I've had "when't the next one, he'll be lonely, it's not fair to make him an only child, what if anything happens to him(???!!!)" and all the rest. Im with DP (nearly DH) number 2 now, and it's started again. He has 2 sons from his "practice marriage" (LOL love that!) and everyone now is going "don't you want one together? Don't you want a girl?" NO WE DON'T! We're 37, and have finally got our lives back, why would I want to start all that again?

DP has had the snip, and when we tell them that, they even go so far as to say "oh, but you could have it reversed". Why can't they just accept it?