How many children?....

Spendless

Lusignan wrote: »

To be honest, one of the (minor) reasons I didn't have kids was because I couldn't guarantee I'd get a girl. There's no way I'd've wanted a boy - they're aliens.

as oppossed to girls, who are madams . I've got one of each so I can say this . I was never 'bothered' about a girl, mainly cos the ones I knew were spoilt madams, but not to the extent that it put me off kids completely. We conceived 2 boys first (eldest lost in pregnancy) and I knew so many people with 3 boys I was convinced that my youngest would also be male. I was shocked to find I'd got a girl, but I absolutely adore her, even if she does have as many madam momentsas DS has alien ones;)

TITEASCRAMP

I have one daughter in seventeen years of marriage but i'd like another but its not to be.

Carmina_Piranha_3

Spendless wrote: »

I said the exact opposite. I wanted a small gap cos I hated the 7 year gap between me and my only sibling. She got offended when I told her this though :rotfl:

:rotfl: how many of us are choosing to do the same as our parents or exactly the opposite? my husband and i both have siblings with less than a year's gap, and we both think it's only decent to give a child 5 years before you have another

Spendless

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

:rotfl: how many of us are choosing to do the same as our parents or exactly the opposite? Yes that's exactly what I think people do if they have a choice, copy or do the opposite. Ironically my sis just before getting offended when I told her that I'd disliked the age gap had told me she had no wish for a 3rd child (she got boy/girl twins 1st time) cos her husband is one of 3 and hated it. I did point this out to her :rolleyes:

my husband and i both have siblings with less than a year's gap, and we both think it's only decent to give a child 5 years before you have another

This is where me and DH come stuck, cos though there is a large gap between me and my sis, there is only 21 months between him and his sister. We went for 3 years, though the gap in between was to do with medical, financial and housing reasons.

brummiebabe

I have 3 - 2 boys (aged 6 and 4) and a girl (5 months.)

Yes..we got all the ' are you going to try for a girl' questions after the birth of DS2 - at that point the answer was very definately NO - kids are such hard work!!

However, 3 years down the line....we mellowed a little and kind of let nature decide...which it did!! DD was born in November! Yes, I am pleased she's a girl, but I would have been just as pleased with another boy!! Still get all the comments though..about 'bet you're glad you've got a little girl now' etc...I don't understand why people you barely know feel they have the right to comment!!!!

Also....get the comments now 'you're not having any more now are you!!' - well no we don't want any more...but that's noone's business but ours!!

From personal experience..I think 3 is hard work!! There isn't enough of you to go round!! Having said that..I recently watched a tv programme about families who have 13 children! - and were desperate for more!! I'm full of admiration!!!:D

Cumbrian_Male

I got 2 DS 17 + DD 14

ness_w

I have six including twins, it seems to be the ony thing noticeable/interesting about me....if what people talk to me about is anything to go by anyway!

ness.

kal25

Hi, I have 3- 2boys(7 &4) and 1 girl (16mnths). I too was always asked while carrying DS2 and DD did I want a girl becasue I'd already got boy/s. However, I really wasn't bothered although having DD does complete the family it would not have bothered me in the slightest if she had been a boy.
People automatically assumed after ds2 we would try for another but that was not the case as he had stopped growing at 30wk . So I knew if we had another it would be hospital appointments all the time as they didn't have a reason for it and couldn't guarantee it wouldn't happen again.
Even now I get 'you said that last time' but I am truly happy and although at times I do get broody, I think of how much I suffer when pregnant and how much weight I've lost since having DD ( took 7yrs to lose all baby weight gained). This tends to shake the broodiness out of me. I am happy being an aunt to my niece and 2nd niece to be that should arrive in May:D
I think sometimes these questions are just part of conversation and as another poster mentioned you don't always expect the answers given.
It is not often I ask people as I know how well and trully blessed I have been to have 3 reasonable normal pregnancies and 3 healthy babies. Some are really not fortunate. And often I feel a little guilty as 3rd was not planned yet my sis planned and lost her first but 2nd pregnancy went fine. She doesn't plan on having anymore but that is mainly due to the probs she had at the end.As others have mentioned sometimes it is not a choice for some it's how things are but everyone is different and if you have a choice then it really is up to you whether you stick with one or a dozen.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

LillieFlower

I'm pregnant with my first and due in 4 weeks time!

DH is number 3 of 7 , and I have to confess that I've said to him in the past that his parents were irresponsible for having so many as they were really very poor (to the extent that they had to ration the milk and lived off potatoes for most of the time). My MIL didn't work and home schooled all the kids 'til they were 11 yrs old! There are 20 years between the oldest and youngest, and my DH really enjoyed being part of a big family.

I'm 1 of 2 and have a brother 4 years younger than me. We used to argue a lot when we were kids, but I actually appreciated the time at home with my Mum before he was born, and similarly he got time with Mum for a few years too as I started school before my brother was a yr old (Mum didn't work until we were both at school). My brother and I have a very close relationship with our parents; much more so than DH has with his, and DH has said that this is probably because his parents weren't able to spend as much time with him and his siblings on a 1-1 basis.

DH did want 6 kids which totally freaked me out, but I talked him down to 4, and now we're on "2 and we'll see", which basically means that I don't think I could cope with any more than 2 (with a 3-5 yr gap as I had a rough time early in my pregnancy and couldn't risk going through the same again with a toddler around). I do realise though that I may feel differently when this baby's born as all my broodiness and maternal feelings may kick in and make me want more than 2! I won't rule out more than 2, but ideally I'd like one of each and then to stop. Although saying that, DH would really like a boy, so if we had 2 girls I would feel guilty if I didn't have more to try for a boy...!!!

pudding06

I've got 4 - all boys
I did have two girls too but they died in the womb, my first and fifth pregnancies - so when people asked about was I trying for a girl with my last child I was praying the last one would be a boy so he would survive.

I'd have loved more but I couldnt take the risk of losing another baby.

I do believe that if you dont want them dont have them
and if you really want a big family and can cope with them then you have them.

i have to say though - financially you can never afford a big family.

that said - all of my sons say they want dids, and most of them want 2 - 4 kids!!! I'm going to be a busy gran when they get down to it, lol

pudds