How many children?....

Bargain_Rzl

DKLS wrote: »

I like my freedom and disposable income too much to have kids

That's exactly what I have said to people upon occasion - though I've added the word "sleep" to your list

I am 28, childless, and although I am still open minded about kids "if I meet the right man" I do not see myself having any, nor do I see myself becoming the sort of woman who feels she has to. TBH I don't know whether I am able to (v.v.irregular menstrual cycle from day 1) - plus, I like the idea of children more than I like the idea of a husband, and because of my religious beliefs, I wouldn't consider doing the former without the latter, and I am single by inclination.

I am careful about asking people about their childbearing choices. I sometimes ask questions but I do try not to be judgemental. There's a couple at church who have 5 - daughter 14 from his previous marriage, plus daughter 7, daughter 5, daughter 3 and son 2. After the boy was born, I ventured to ask the lady whether she thought there might be more (she was very late 30s at the time) and she said she didn't know - "it might be nice to have another boy for ***** to play with, and to make DH feel less insecure about all the women in the house!"

I am really very very very careful not to ask questions which might cause offence. I have a colleague whose wife, also a colleague, has recently given birth to their first live child (6 weeks ago) after their previous son died during birth, and the pregnancy before that ended in miscarriage. I have been in situations where others, who do not know their history, have asked my colleague questions which have made me cringe.

I love kids, and now in my late 20s I've found myself more "responsive" to children, but that doesn't mean I want any of my own

jo1967

I havent read all throughthe thread but just wanted to add the I have one son - by choice. Never set out to have one, but decided soon after having my DS that that was enough (joint desicion). No I have not had a traumatic birth, no he is not a child from hell, no we had no problems conceiving, yes I am still with his dad!! I think you get the idea of the questions we have had thrown at us!!

We would really struggle with any more & at least I can try to give DS a decent childhood. My sister has 3 - so you see you need people like me to balance the world out lol! :rotfl:

Carmina_Piranha_3

my son was 9 when his brother was born and i honestly believe he'd have been perfectly happy to remain an only child, i'd go so far as to say he would have HATED to have a sibling close in age. i know i certainly hated it!

when people used to ask when i was going to have another i would tell them i hated having a sister so close in age and would never inflict that upon my beloved son, especially not sharing a bedroom :rotfl:

it's rude to ask really. i think most people have their own ideas about how many children they want (if any).

chergar

We have two children Boy aged 4 and a girl aged 1. We get the "oh you've got the perfect family now" and "I take it thats you finished now".

To be honest we probably are finished but we are only 28 and in a few years we may want more, we certainly aren't doing anything permanent (snip etc) and if I accidently got pregnant again I wouldn't do anything about it (termination).

DH is an only child but I have 3 siblings I am 28 my sister is nearly 25 my brother is nearly 18 and my youngest sister is 10. We constantly get asked if we are all to the same dad - yes we are (and the same mum).

I did ask an ex colleague shortly after her wedding if she wanted children and she replied "you don't always get what you want" I left it at that. I only asked as I had taken my daughter in to show her off and the colleague was asking all the usual questions etc and it seemed so natural to ask if she wanted any - Ground open up moment!!!!!

DKLS

Bargain_Rzl wrote: »

That's exactly what I have said to people upon occasion - though I've added the word "sleep" to your list

I love kids, and now in my late 20s I've found myself more "responsive" to children, but that doesn't mean I want any of my own

You made me laugh with that one, My mate hasnt had a good night sleep in 2 years, and the next one is due in a couple of months :eek:

Thing is and perhaps I should whisper this, but I feel I should stand up and say this: with the Odd exception, I dont like kids, I dont even like the smell of them, and that must be a child hater thing, cos I can smell em!!!!!!!. There said it, No going back, but as said in previous posts, I have no objection to how many kids someone has as long as they can provide, the emotional/physical & financial support that children need.

BlondeHeadOn

Oh, what a breath of fresh air to hear someone saying they don't like kids! I don't like kids either, and what is worse is..... I'm a woman.

This apparently puts me firmly in the category of a malfunctioning human being as far as some people are concerned, but I can't say I care!

Oh, in case you are one of the well-meaning people over the years who have said "ohhhh, you'll change your mind when you meet the right man, you'll see....", I can report that I am now in my late forties, very happily married and (both) very happily childless, and have no regrets at all.



It's a very personal choice, having children. Or not. As the case may be.......................................

:beer: :beer: :beer:

Bambywamby

Just the one (who is nearly 16) and currently ttc.

So hopefully i will soon be able to say two.

Carmina_Piranha_3

BlondeHeadOn wrote: »

It's a very personal choice, having children. Or not. As the case may be.......................................

absolutely. i know a few women who don't like kids but had them anyway :eek:

Frugal_Fox

Bambywamby wrote: »

Just the one (who is nearly 16) and currently ttc.

So hopefully i will soon be able to say two.

I misread this the first time....

I read it that your child was trying to conceive... :eek:

Thought you were remarkably calm - until I read it again

For all 'those' who don't like children - I find it so sad that society makes you feel that you can't express those views. I did want children - so why is it okay for me to say that, but that those who wish to remain without children feel that they can't.

Spendless

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

my son was 9 when his brother was born and i honestly believe he'd have been perfectly happy to remain an only child, i'd go so far as to say he would have HATED to have a sibling close in age. i know i certainly hated it!

when people used to ask when i was going to have another i would tell them i hated having a sister so close in age and would never inflict that upon my beloved son, especially not sharing a bedroom :rotfl:

I said the exact opposite. I wanted a small gap cos I hated the 7 year gap between me and my only sibling. She got offended when I told her this though :rotfl: