In relationship with a " live for today man "

lostinrates

Op, by your avknowledgement people here have been kind and proactive. To group us in this 'rude' and 'mean' begaviour is quite rude too imo, when people have put their experiences and time and consideration into their replies.

FBaby

Why are you reacting so emotionally? No one has been rude here. Some (me included) might have said things that didn't go your way, but were not rude (which you have ackowledged).

One person has said something that was indeed rude, but the whole message wasn't, and in many ways was actually helpful, which lead me to believe that they didn't mean for the unfortunate word to be rude.

You can't let one bad word on a public forum affect you as such, especially if you want a career in the NHS, trust me, you will hear a lot of hurful things.

Take all what has been said here, reflect on it all, and let it -or not- dictate how you want to move forward in your relationship and studies. Good luck

lostinrates

MiddyMum wrote: »

No it wasnt you at all? I dont know, having a real low day today and I come online and I see people being nasty via the comfort of a computer screen. Fed up.

FBaby wrote: »

I get it but it is confusing to mention it here because not everyone read every post and won't forceably understand what you are referring to.

I did NOT say YOU were rude and mean. I said i believed your action to have been rude. ( and i used rude as short for discourteous and dismissive) There is an important difference.

MiddyMum

Its not just the forum why I am feeling this way today. I was feeling very very low in myself before I even logged on this morning, and I now know that I shouldnt have wrote this thread. Feeling fragile emotionally and then having it chucked in your face from a stranger on a public forum is a recipe for disaster from an emotional standpoint. I have asked for this thread to be deleted but it is still here, so what else can I do. Also, I have worked in the NHS for 5 years, I do know what it entails. I have thanked you all enough times to show my appreciation. If any mods are reading this and can deactivate my user account too, I would really appreciate that also.

raven83

MiddyMum wrote: »

On the whole, the majority of people that have replied on this thread have been really helpful and kind. I really appreciate your support, although I have requested that this thread be locked/deleted now. If I knew that the type of people that frequent MSE would be so rude, when I make posts I dont think I would ever have set this up as this is quite personal stuff. Niavete on my part! Thanks again. I am deleting all my posts on this thread.

MM, it isn't all of us that are rude on here, some like myself will just give you advice, there are others though that act self righteous and like to foist their opinion on you, but this is what you get with a public forum I am afraid. What you must so though is think about what it is you are going to do and think about it in the long term. Only you know what this is and ultimately it is you decision. Don't let people on here put you off as you do get some that give fantastic advice. I wish you luck in whatever it is you decide:)

Yorkie1

It's the OP's thread on the House Buying Board, where some posters got truly rude...

belfastgirl23

I would just add, when something makes you feel particularly bad it's often because someone has accidentally hit on a tender spot. When you're feeling a bit less low and fragile it might be worth having a think about the things that really got to you and to try to unpick a bit why they did get to you.

It is tempting to come on here in the hopes that people agree with you but the typical thing is that you get a real range of opinion, based often on the experiences that people have had themselves. It's up to you to filter it and work out what has meaning for you in your situation.

I'm worried that you are blaming all of your relationship problems on your partner to be honest. Problems in a relationship are never that straightforward and both partners play a role in causing them. The easy thing is to tell yourself it's all someone else's fault. The hard thing is to take a long and critical look at yourself and try to own whatever part of it is yours. If you take nothing else away from this thread I'd urge you to take that away. If nothing else, you need to learn something from the problems in your relationship - this will help you in future life one way or another.

Good luck.

Alias_Omega

I live with a "live for today woman".. Im the saver, she is the spender.

We set limits to save etc, but nearly every month she spends the £1700 monthly budget, but smashing £2500-3000 away.

Annoys me sometime, as she is a SAHM.

Savvy_Sue

MiddyMum wrote: »

If any mods are reading this and can deactivate my user account too, I would really appreciate that also.

We have no mods, and BGs don't have that power: no doubt you have already emailed forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com, but please take a look at the Forum Rules, especially here and here.