Would this annoy you?

aliasojo

peachyprice wrote: »

I doubt it has anything to do with her age, far more to do with her upbringing. Her mother doesn't see it as a problem either that says it all really.

Ah, you may well have a point there.

I agreed with welshwoofs comments above, that's what she should have done but I was trying to be fair as to the reason why she didn't (i.e. she was young and unthinking), but the reference to the Mother feeling the same way kinda disputes that.

Ok, I take it all back.

Mojisola

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

I'm of the opinion that once you give a gift you no longer have any right over what happens to it and I think it's very strange that so many people think they deserve a say in what happens to it after it's been handed over - not in the spirit of giving as far as I'm concerned.

If the gift is one where I'd spent the usual amount and chosen it for the recipient, I wouldn't have any problems with the receiver selling it on, regifting it or whatever.

This case was different because the godmother spent more than she usually would and the god-daughter specifically asked for tickets for that show and was well aware than she was getting a gift that was costing more than her usual birthday present.

MrsDavo

A similar thing happened to me except I was the recipient.

A couple of years ago my sister bought me a car, ( old but perfectly useable! ) as she knew it would really help me out. I used the car for the 6 months I needed it for, and then wanted to sell it.

I could really use the money but I asked my sister if she wanted it back to sell on, because I felt it would only be polite to ask first. She said, no you go ahead and keep anything you make from it. Which was extremely generous.

Anyway point is, at that time I was only 22 so IMO its got nothing to do with age, its about being polite and having manners!

martinthebandit

A gift is just that, if you feel that by giving it you can expect to retain control over what the recipient does with it, then its not a gift, its an obligation.

londonsurrey

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

Which would lead to the awkward conversation. She would have either had to ask for the money back (you don't want what I originally bought for you so I want a refund) which imo is worse than what the goddaughter has done in the first place or she would have have felt begrudged into telling her to keep the money which brings us back to to the bad feeling.

It's a slightly awkward conversation, but nothing that the godmother could not have handled. She does have, and I would hope as does the majority of the population, the requisite degree of social polish to deal with it.

And given the alternatives, it was the most civil thing to have done. We aren't supposed to simply avoid conversations on the grounds that they're about awkward situations!

Are you saying that the girl did her godmother a kindness by avoiding that conversation altogether?

skypie123_2

The difference between the God-daughter cashing in her vouchers and MrCow was that the God-daughter specified she wanted to go to the play so on that basis Op bought those tickets so she could do that.
MrCow didn't say she wanted to go shop at that shop, although the gift was very generous and I'm sure she appreciated the gift hugely.
Had she said she wanted to shop at that store that would be a different matter.
Both the mother and the God-daughter are in the wrong

daisiegg

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

Which would lead to the awkward conversation. She would have either had to ask for the money back (you don't want what I originally bought for you so I want a refund) which imo is worse than what the goddaughter has done in the first place or she would have have felt begrudged into telling her to keep the money which brings us back to to the bad feeling.




Erm because she did?

I don't think she decided she didn't want to go to the theatre - she decided she'd rather have eighty quid to spend on make up.

onlyroz

mrcow wrote: »

Part of me is saying that it's bang out of order, but I did a similar thing so I can see the other side.

I did a big favour for someone once and they said thankyou by giving me £500 of vouchers for a store. A really expensive, frivolous store (think £27 for a bottle of shower gel type thing). I sold them on Ebay for cash. Money was really tight at the time and I used the money for my hallway to be decorated (I'd lived with bare walls for over 12 months). I really appreciated the gift, but the shower gel would all be gone....my hallway still looks lovely though.

Was I wrong?

That's not quite the same thing though - because she specifically expressed an interest in going to see a show.

There have been times in the past when I've been given vouchers, tickets etc for something I'm not interested in, and I've sold them and spent the money on something else - but if I'd specifically asked for tickets/vouchers for a particular thing then I think the giver would be rightfully cheesed off if i sold them on.

daisiegg

skypie123 wrote: »

MrCow didn't say she wanted to go shop at that shop, although the gift was very generous and I'm sure she appreciated the gift hugely.
Had she said she wanted to shop at that store that would be a different matter.
Both the mother and the God-daughter are in the wrong

MrCow is a she???

NewKittenHelp

Mojisola wrote: »

If the gift is one where I'd spent the usual amount and chosen it for the recipient, I wouldn't have any problems with the receiver selling it on, regifting it or whatever.

This case was different because the godmother spent more than she usually would and the god-daughter specifically asked for tickets for that show and was well aware than she was getting a gift that was costing more than her usual birthday present.

I don't see that as the girl's problem. The godmother offered the gift, I don't think it's on to ascribe different rules depending on the value of the gift. Either you give in the spirit of giving, or you don't.