Would this annoy you?

daisiegg

I don't think you're wrong to be annoyed. That's really ungrateful. If she hadn't been that bothered about the theatre in the first place she could have responded to your suggestion with something like "What a lovely offer but I'm really busy/find it hard to get into London/etc so theatre tickets might not be the best present this time but thanks for the thought!" To just cash them in without even mentioning it? Out of order. I'd be annoyed too.

gingin_2

Did she get a choice in what she wanted, a present or a play? Or was it "I'd love to treat you to a show, what do you want to see?"

peachyprice

mrcow wrote: »

Part of me is saying that it's bang out of order, but I did a similar thing so I can see the other side.

I did a big favour for someone once and they said thankyou by giving me £500 of vouchers for a store. A really expensive, frivolous store (think £27 for a bottle of shower gel type thing). I sold them on Ebay for cash. Money was really tight at the time and I used the money for my hallway to be decorated (I'd lived with bare walls for over 12 months). I really appreciated the gift, but the shower gel would all be gone....my hallway still looks lovely though.

Was I wrong?

That's a completely different scenario though, you didn't specifically ask for vouchers for the swanky store. Imagine if the person you'd done the favour for had asked what you would like as a thank you and you'd said 'I'd really like to have my hall decorated, I've been looking at bare walls for 12 months but I can't afford to do it myself' the person makes the arrangements, you then cancel those arrangements and spend the money in the swanky store.

OP, I'd be mighty pee'd off too. It was a special gift, you'd spent more than you normally would because you thought it was something she really wanted to to.

sulkisu

Thank you all for your replies.

The thing is, if I had simply taken it upon myself to buy the tickets and surprised her with them, then I might have understood. But she specifically asked for them. She said that for her birthday she really wanted to see a musical but probably couldn't afford it. I said that I hadn't bought her present yet, so how about my getting tickets for her as her present. She was jumping up and down saying 'yes please', 'thank you', 'are you sure'? It might be expensive etc. I said it's fine, let me know what you want to see and I'll sort it out and a few days later she called and said Chicago. So in my mind, she specifically asked for this present. As some have said, it's a lesson learnt.

Cherry_Bomb

If you found out before hand she didn't want to go to the theatre anymore would you still expect her to go just because you paid a lot of money for the tickets?

We can all say she should have told you but what an awkward conversation for you both! Would you have expected some of the money back? Would you have even asked?

I do see why you're annoyed but I'm with your OH on this one. I think it's the cost more than anything that has upset you which is not your goddaughters fault.

londonsurrey

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

If you found out before hand she didn't want to go to the theatre anymore would you still expect her to go just because you paid a lot of money for the tickets?

We can all say she should have told you but what an awkward conversation for you both! Would you have expected some of the money back? Would you have even asked?

I do see why you're annoyed but I'm with your OH on this one. I think it's the cost more than anything that has upset you which is not your goddaughters fault.

The goddaughter owed her godmother the courtesy of telling her that she'd changed her mind.

The godmother would then have had the option of telling her to keep the money.
It's a question of simple manners.

daisiegg

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

If you found out before hand she didn't want to go to the theatre anymore would you still expect her to go just because you paid a lot of money for the tickets?.

Well, yes, actually! It's not like it's something unpleasant or taxing...free tickets to see a fantastic show, that she specifically asked for! If she changed her mind (why would she?) then she should still have gone, probably would still have enjoyed it, and it would have taught her to be more careful about what presents she asks for in future.

System

not defending her in the slightest cause i think what she did was wrong but maybe she couldnt find someone else to go with her.

tea_lover

Judi wrote: »

not defending her in the slightest cause i think what she did was wrong but maybe she couldnt find someone else to go with her.

She could have asked her god mother!

paddy's_mum

I'd be furious simply because I would feel that I had been crudely manipulated, and by people without even the most basic good manners to ask 'would you mind very much if ...'?

Who likes to feel that they've been made a mug of?

Who enjoys feeling that they've been ripped off?