Would this annoy you?

londonsurrey

tea_lover wrote: »

She could have asked her god mother!

Perfect!

Mojisola

sulkisu wrote: »

The thing is, if I had simply taken it upon myself to buy the tickets and surprised her with them, then I might have understood. But she specifically asked for them. She said that for her birthday she really wanted to see a musical but probably couldn't afford it. I said that I hadn't bought her present yet, so how about my getting tickets for her as her present. She was jumping up and down saying 'yes please', 'thank you', 'are you sure'? It might be expensive etc. I said it's fine, let me know what you want to see and I'll sort it out and a few days later she called and said Chicago. So in my mind, she specifically asked for this present.

If I'd been in the position of the god-daughter and realised I couldn't go or changed my mind about wanting to see the show, I would have spoken to my godmother, told her and offered her the tickets back. It would then have been down to the godmother to decide what should happen.

bargainbetty

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

I do see why you're annoyed but I'm with your OH on this one. I think it's the cost more than anything that has upset you which is not your goddaughters fault.

It's not the cost, it is the rudeness. I have bought tickets for a friend before, and due to a change in circumstances they called me to say they were unable to attend. They offered me the tickets back, but also said they had someone they could pass them on to. I told them to do as they wished. But they asked. They had the courtesy to tell me that they wouldn't be able to go. This young woman didn't bother, and traded in the gift for cash after she had specifically asked for the present. That is rude.

Next time she says 'Oh, I'd really love xxx' smile, nod and get her a small voucher and a card. I'd also be tempted to say something about how offended you were. It doesn't matter if her mother doesn't think you should be, you are, and she needs to know that her actions were thoughtless and hurtful to you.

BugglyB

Thats shocking behaviour, my mum would be furious if I behaved like that. Next time I would just put a tenner in a card.

Mojisola

bargainbetty wrote: »

Next time she says 'Oh, I'd really love xxx' smile, nod and get her a small voucher and a card. I'd also be tempted to say something about how offended you were. It doesn't matter if her mother doesn't think you should be, you are, and she needs to know that her actions were thoughtless and hurtful to you.

After having kept the £80 for this birthday, I don't think I'd be giving any presents for the next few years. As we stop giving presents once the youngsters reach 21, that would probably be her last present from me.

Saturnalia

I'd be really hacked off by that as well!

I know that once a gift has been handed over, it belongs to the recipient to do as they wish with, but it was still rude of the goddaughter to do that especially since it was a gift she had specifically asked for. If she'd been given theatre tickets when she had no interest in shows, or was a type of show she wouldn't want to see then I wouldn't think what she had done had been bad, but she asked for these tickets.

Yep, next time just send a card, if that! Ungrateful wretch.

ETA: Just a thought, have you spoken to your GD and told her how you feel about this? It's possible if she's been raised with no social nous she doesn't realise how cheeky she has been, and maybe a little education from you might be a good thing.

aliasojo

I don't think this is a 'right or wrong' situation. It's just a different view.

Your kindness was obviously appreciated OP but the girl obviously had no clue about your depth of feeling or the fact you only bought the tickets as a special gesture so she wouldn't have realised the significance of her actions, for you. She's still very young and often young people don't have the same values as they would once they are a few years older.

For the record, I would be extremely appreciative for ever more if you wanted to buy me tickets for anything.

thehappybutterfly

Judi wrote: »

not defending her in the slightest cause i think what she did was wrong but maybe she couldnt find someone else to go with her.

tea_lover wrote: »

She could have asked her god mother!

This is where I thought this thread was going - that you'd bought her the tickets in the hope she'd take you but she took someone else. Hah! It was 10 times ruder than that :mad: I would be outraged.

I think she sounds like an ungrateful spoiled little girl and she's in for a few shocks if she doesn't change her attitude sharpish.

I agree with most of the posters - card and a tenner the next time (if you feel that generous).

NewKittenHelp

I'm of the opinion that once you give a gift you no longer have any right over what happens to it and I think it's very strange that so many people think they deserve a say in what happens to it after it's been handed over - not in the spirit of giving as far as I'm concerned.

duchy

Quite honestly all she to say was "The show was lovely -thank you" and you'd have been none the wiser . Just like the swanky voucher v hall poster probably didn't tell their giver they'd sold the vouchers.

I find with students money is the best gift as most appreciate that the most.

I wouldn't be annoyed -but I wouldn't do the same again either.

Crudely manipulated is a bit over egging -she's a teenager-they are thoughtless sometimes. As the OP has already discussed it with the girl's mother I'm sure the message is received loud and clear by now.