Found out by accident 14yr old dd smokes

McKneff

Im a smoker, so not pontificating.

The time to stop for her is now before its got to her.

Educate her by showing her via the internet what it actually does to your body inside, graphic pictures, tell her to sit down with the internet and take notes for 15 minutes every night for a week.

I wish somebody had educted me when I was 14. All I got was
'its bad for your lungs' nobody told me it was bad for 'all' of me.
Bones, lungs, blood, hair, early wrinkles, etc etc etc.

I'm another one who thinks stopping her from going on the school trip is OTT, nothing to stop you telling her you are considering it though.
And I would have a word with the school, so they can be vigilant on this school trip.

squidge60

piglet74 wrote: »

sorry, get you now

i think i would save it for her, print off the statements and show her how much more money she has for not smoking,

Dont really feel we can do that as its money she earns in the hols i would just like to know what she spends it on.:D

thatgirlsam

If it were my dd I would say, great maybe I should start again, we can smoke ourselves to death together. I know that she used to be really upset that I was a smoker, worried a great deal about it. I don't know if it would work but I don't think she'd want ME smoking!

Actually, I asked her recently (she is 12) if she would ever try smoking weed after seeing something on the TV. She said... 'probably'

Shocked!! I said 'thanks for being honest'

I have a feeling she was pulling my plonker as she was laughing but you never know. I'd rather she felt like she could tell me.

Now your dd has told you, I wouldn't focus on the deception now. It's done. Thank her for being honest, tell her you are worried about her.

Tbh - there's probably not much you can do. I certainly wouldn't have listened to my Mum much at that age. And if she had given me that letter from Ronald Reagan I would have left home immediately!

SnowyOwl_2

Could you get in touch with a hospital or hospice or with some anti-smoking organisation or similar to arrange for her to go and see for herself the effects of smoking on the human body. There would be nothing like meeting a person missing a foot, or dying from lung cancer to drive it home to her exactly what she is playing with.

I would also mention it to her dentist in time for her next appointment. It's important s/he knows about her habit as there are certain procedures they can't or won't do on smokers. Perhaps the dentist could mention to her that smokers lose their teeth, and perhaps she'd like to pick her dentures right away to save time in the future...

stormbreaker

My son is now 20. I found out he was smoking when he was around 16. I cried for a week. I am a non smoker and his Dad quit years ago. This was a boy who could not stand the smell of smoke and often hid his grans cigarettes.

I knew the reason he was smoking. It was to 'fit in'. Something he never did at school.

He is at Uni now and a number of his close friends smoke. He says he has stopped and I take his word for it.

I never punished him. He never got pocket money. He has always had a part time job from the age of 14. To my mind, he was earning it so could spend it or save it. It meant he has learnt the importance of money and how to budget on his own.

I would not stop him from going on any school trips as I think the majority are very worthwhile.

I think if you try to control her she will rebel like most teenagers, she will think she knows everything and what do her parents know about anything.

stormbreaker

Oh we did go through the.... smokers are not entertained in the NHS for many treatments...etc.. they will make excuses but the bottom line is that you are a smoker. .... do you realise the all kinds of insurances are more expensive etc etc.

To be honest I don't think any of that works. Insurances and health care are unimportant to healthy youngsters.

squidge60

McKneff wrote: »

Im a smoker, so not pontificating.

The time to stop for her is now before its got to her.

Educate her by showing her via the internet what it actually does to your body inside, graphic pictures, tell her to sit down with the internet and take notes for 15 minutes every night for a week.

I wish somebody had educted me when I was 14. All I got was
'its bad for your lungs' nobody told me it was bad for 'all' of me.
Bones, lungs, blood, hair, early wrinkles, etc etc etc.

I'm another one who thinks stopping her from going on the school trip is OTT, nothing to stop you telling her you are considering it though.
And I would have a word with the school, so they can be vigilant on this school trip.

I wish i had been educated i smoked for 20 yrs plus before i stopped smoking so extra gutted really.:(
She is squeamish so maybe another route to go.
Will be telling her we are considering the trip .

Trouble is its ok getting the school to be vigilant but i feel its more about who she hangs around with and trying to get to her
so she can say no (peer pressure and all that).

squidge60

SnowyOwl wrote: »

Could you get in touch with a hospital or hospice or with some anti-smoking organisation or similar to arrange for her to go and see for herself the effects of smoking on the human body. There would be nothing like meeting a person missing a foot, or dying from lung cancer to drive it home to her exactly what she is playing with.

I would also mention it to her dentist in time for her next appointment. It's important s/he knows about her habit as there are certain procedures they can't or won't do on smokers. Perhaps the dentist could mention to her that smokers lose their teeth, and perhaps she'd like to pick her dentures right away to save time in the future...

Um thats a good one as next month she is due to have a brace fitted.! And she is really lokking forward to it .I know strange girl
I am going to save this entire thread to refer to for future:D

spugzbunny

Have you thought about talking to the local shops? Explaining to them that your 14 year old daughter is smoking and you are concerned where she is getting them from?

I still get IDd now, shops are very hot on not getting fined.

Just make sure you don't make it too obvious or dd will be a laughing tock.

My mum found I smoked in the exact same way as you did DD. She found fags (age 15), I lied, said they were a friends. A few hugs and sniffs later and I 'coughed' up! Still smoke now and I wish I never started. I'm 29

atrixblue.-MFR-.

when your 14, you see the older kids at school looking cool smoking in the bushes next to the yard, having a laugh, and think i want to be popular like that, so start acting like them, peer pressure is a massive influence in schools especially now theres 6th form 17 18 yr olds there driving in in their cars etc. at 14 there experimentation, sexual confusion, bodily changes, and train of thought that was never there before.

stopping the trip i would bet would give you a reaction yyou wiched you never thought, such as well if i cant go on the trip i got to give my earings to you and my pocket money i may aswell not bother in giving up smoking as there isnt anything else you can punish me with.

i would rather turn this on its head and reward for not smoking, reward for saving up, reward for hard work, and keep her occupied during the summer holidays to relieve the symptoms of withdrawal depending on how long she has been smoking.

such as, an agreement where by she put her fag money in a pot, each week youll add the cost of 1 packet to that amount as a reward, at the end of that month she can spend that money on clothes, shoes hair, makeup, jewelry, phone top up, redecorate her room etc and at the end of that month, say you wounldnt have been able to do this if you had carried on spending you money on fags.

a start, an incentive, and end goal.

rather than going in ban this that how bad it is to you health etc etc.