Dealing with an irrational wife

andymc29

Going back to the OP - the window thing was unintentional. What deliberate risks have you taken that your wife got upset about?

We were on holiday last year. Having breakfast in the hotel, I saw her coming back from the buffet with some food, so I left the table to go get some for myself. I had my wallet with me but it was too bulky for my pocket so I left it on the table, knowing she was in clear sight of the table and heading that way.

She went quiet on me for the next half hour until I finally got it out of her that she was furious at me for leaving my wallet on the table. She said I was totally irresponsible and was happy to risk us losing all our money and bank cards because of being too impatient to get food. It didn't matter that I said she could see the table and was walking directly towards it. She made me promise never to do anything irresponsible again in my life and that I needed to show her more respect.

Cat501

Hmm - okay - but was she looking at the wallet on the table as she walked back? Did she realise she had to be keeping an eye on it? I think I probably would have waited till she was back, or at least signalled to her that it was there.

But again, her reaction was totally out of order imo. Not least the childishness of giving you the silent treatment for half an hour.

suited-aces

Some disgusting replies here. If my girlfriend made a similar post about me I doubt she'd to told to apologize to me and run me a bath.

Mojisola

andymc29 wrote: »

We were on holiday last year. Having breakfast in the hotel, I saw her coming back from the buffet with some food, so I left the table to go get some for myself. I had my wallet with me but it was too bulky for my pocket so I left it on the table, knowing she was in clear sight of the table and heading that way.

She went quiet on me for the next half hour until I finally got it out of her that she was furious at me for leaving my wallet on the table. She said I was totally irresponsible and was happy to risk us losing all our money and bank cards because of being too impatient to get food. It didn't matter that I said she could see the table and was walking directly towards it. She made me promise never to do anything irresponsible again in my life and that I needed to show her more respect.

I wouldn't have been happy with you, either.

You knew she could see the table but she didn't know that she was meant to be watching your wallet! What were you expecting her to do if someone had dashed in and swiped it?

19lottie82

Mojisola wrote: »

I wouldn't have been happy with you, either.

You knew she could see the table but she didn't know that she was meant to be watching your wallet! What were you expecting her to do if someone had dashed in and swiped it?

Yes, but does it deserve the silent treatment for half an hour then a lecture about "respect"?

raven83

I'd be really Pis$ed off too. She is probably tired from working nights and comes home to see the window open, it's not like she is asking much for you to shut the window, especially given your past experience. I am a bit like that with windows too but then and again that's probably and OCD thing with me. She is probably off in her texts because she is tired and a bit grumpy. I would just take her tone with a pinch of salt and make sure you take a extra mintute to double check in future.

Mojisola

19lottie82 wrote: »

Yes, but does it deserve the silent treatment for half an hour then a lecture about "respect"?

Different people have different ways - if someone is a brooder, they will give their partner the silent treatment.

I'd have reacted more immediately with what I thought of him!

elantan

I agree with mojisola ... I wouldnt've been happy either ... I leave my bag at a table often but not without saying to oh can u keep an eye on my bag ? He does the same with with his wallet ... We ALWAYS check with each other before leaving anything .. We dont just assume ... Your meant to be a team

aliasojo

I agree her responses are not particularly nice OP but only you know if her possible frustration with you has coloured her replies.

Forgive me but you sound like the male equivalent of what is generally known as a 'bit of an airhead'.

Was she like this before you moved in together? Maybe she's only seeing 'you' now?

Of course she could just be a narky biatch. None of us can tell that from the thread I'm afraid.

Pollycat

Andy
I would have been angry at the wallet thing too.

I personally think that - if it did have all your money in - it was a pretty stupid thing to do.

It only takes a second to pick up a wallet or mobile.

As your wife didn't know you'd left your wallet on the table, she could have decided to go back to the buffet table to get something else.

You've said several times that your wife has said this:

andymc29 wrote: »

She made me promise never to do anything irresponsible again in my life and that I needed to show her more respect.

andymc29 wrote: »

Her: Is that what you would tell the police and insurance company when they won't give us money? You think they would change their mind? Take responsibility and give me some respect.

andymc29 wrote: »

She says not remembering to do things is showing disrespect for her and that I'm being irresponsible. There's really no winning most of the time.

What exactly does she expect you to do to show her more respect?

andymc29 wrote: »

I tell her I've got a bad memory and am trying hard but she says that's no excuse because she never forgets anything.

Just because she's perfect (or at least thinks she is :cool:) doesn't mean that someone who forgets something is being disrespectful.

This is a strange one - I feel there's wrong and right on both sides.