Dealing with an irrational wife

Mojisola

andymc29 wrote: »

Thanks guys. I know it seems trivial but she's like this about loads of things.

I tell her I've got a bad memory and am trying hard but she says that's no excuse because she never forgets anything.

She says not remembering to do things is showing disrespect for her and that I'm being irresponsible. There's really no winning most of the time.

If this scenario is real - was she like this before you got married? Were you like this before you got married? If so, you both knew what you were getting into. Did you each think the other would change once the ceremony was over?

andymc29

She claims she's always running around clearing up after me. But this is rubbish as she's simply doing jobs before I do them. An example is I'll go to do something in the kitchen and sometimes she'll physically push me aside and do it herself saying something like "I'll do it because you're too slow", my normal answer is "well I'd be quicker if I got to do it more often".

Personally I think she's lived on her own too long and can't adjust to living with another person and giving up some of her control over the house. We lived together for two months before getting married.

balletshoes

andymc29 wrote: »

Thanks guys. I know it seems trivial but she's like this about loads of things.

I tell her I've got a bad memory and am trying hard but she says that's no excuse because she never forgets anything.

She says not remembering to do things is showing disrespect for her and that I'm being irresponsible. There's really no winning most of the time.

To be perfectly honest, I agree that having a bad memory is no excuse, and its not just your stuff that would be nicked/destroyed if you were robbed because you left the window open, it would be hers too, and maybe her stuff has a lot of value to her (ie more value to her than you value your stuff?).

If you know you have a bad memory, start writing things down to remind yourself, so you don't have to rely on being reminded by your wife to do things (because that will get old pretty quickly).

You've apologised, tell her you're going to try harder to deal with your bad memory, and mean it.

POPPYOSCAR

tasha-debt wrote: »

Err thats totally OTT of her........ We never close our bedroom window fully as I hate the room be hot and like the room to smell fresh.

But if you have agreed to always close it and you forgot this time then that just makes you human. Is your wife 100% perfect all the time, I doubt it. No one is.

Tell her its really not worth sttessing over the little things, she told you, you aplogised, end of discussion. But as another poster said there could be something else on her mind but rather than talk to you about that she is over reacting about the window.

Would drive me mad if my BF picked me up on everthing I forgot to do lol as I have a terriable memory at times.

If you have insurance do you realise they may not pay out fully on a claim and some companies may not pay out altogether?

19lottie82

OP, back to the problem in hand. IMO your DW thinks she is being perfectly reasonable, and that you are being totally out of order by leaving the window open and that you deserve the backlash. But the fact is, she isn't, you're not and you don't.

From what you have told us, about this mentality being applied in numerous situations, I am guessing that your wife may be suffering from OCD or something similar, where scenarios like this cause her great stress and cause these outbursts. This isn't normal and perhaps councelling might help?

Carmen

I can understand the need for home security but, my issue would be the content of the texts
It took me many years to 'train' my OH but I did not resort to abuse, sorry I cannot think of a better word for it.

Mr_Toad

findingmyownway wrote: »

I don't think she's mad about the window per se, it seems like she feels a general lack of respect for her feelings/belongings from you. Have you had conversations about security before?

And you think her calling him stupid and telling him she doesn't trust him shows respect on her part?

Blackpool_Saver

Is this your first time living with another person?

scooby088

If my OH was like that I would just whatever and tell her to get a grip, would she be so irrational if it was your stuff left on the window sill?

pawsies

I would put a sign on the window every time you open it saying close me in big writing so you can't ignore it?