wives, how would you react if....

zaffi

Nan63 wrote: »

Two things zaffi....

1. You know your wife - how do you think she'll see it?

2. What would be your reaction if your wife told you she wouldn't be wearing her wedding ring on a girls weekend away?

My view? I wouldn't like it all but that's because I am rather old fashioned about symbols and traditions and feel that once a ring is on, it stays on (aside from dangerous work or hygiene purposes!)

1, reading my OP reading it back, i didn't need the bit about my wife, i know her and how she'd react and if i didn't i'd ask. I guess i was using the specific example of her to highlight the more loose point of how "women in general" would react, which i covered in the opening sentence.

2, Honestly, I wouldn't be fussed

There seem to be 2 contrasting trains of thought.

1, it would set of alarm bells in regard cheating

2, whether or not someone has a piece of metal on their finger isn't going to stop them if they want to play away

i'm firmly with 2

FatVonD

The only chance of losing the ring is if/when it's taken off so I personally think it sounds dodgy and as for the argument that he could just take it off as and when and she'd be none the wiser, he could but if he's planning on taking it off for the entire holiday then the lack of tan lines would be a dead giveaway.

Mojisola

FatVonD wrote: »

The only chance of losing the ring is if/when it's taken off so I personally think it sounds dodgy and as for the argument that he could just take it off as and when and she'd be none the wiser, he could but if he's planning on taking it off for the entire holiday then the lack of tan lines would be a dead giveaway.

If someone always wears their ring at home, the lack of tan lines wouldn't be seen.

It's got to come down to trust in the end. If you don't trust someone, do you want to be in long-term relationship with them?

FBaby

zaffi wrote: »

2, whether or not someone has a piece of metal on their finger isn't going to stop them if they want to play away

i'm firmly with 2

Who cares what you're with, it's not about you, it is about your wife. If she is the type who wouldn't be one bit bothered, or who thought that the fact you mention it to her means that she has no reason to be worried at all, then all is well and option 2 is good.

If however she is the type, like most women (and some men) to worry about your intentions, then do whatever you have to do to reassure her considering how easy it is to do so. Do you really care to create a potential conflict between you two just because you've decided that she has no reason to worry at all? Do you really need to come to a forum to think of what to do? It is so obvious that if you really really believe that it is better not to bring the ring to keep it safe, what you should be doing is buy a cheap one to replace it as it's been immediately suggested. Surely you could have come up with this idea yourself?

Molly41

Like Richard my hub's ring is also welded to his finger. I would be very worried if he tried to take it off as it has never been off his finger - unless it needs to come off because he has damaged his finger. Mine is off and on as i have eczema and when I was a Midwife it was never on as it was unhygienic. My husband got used to this years ago so guess it i whether it is a complete change to what the norm is.

ViolaLass

My husband has been known to sometimes not wear his ring e.g. for work or in the shower.

He has:

a) put it on a chord around his neck
b) left it on his desk
c) once asked me to look after it. (perhaps you could try this)

While I'd rather he wore it, I'd rather MORE that he loves me and doesn't cheat. I don't associate the former with the latter.

rollnchips

I would be worried about yourself if you based your relationship and the strongness of it on a piece of metal.

What say you to all the unwed couples who have been together for decades kids, mortgage, car etc ... should their partners be worried because they don;t have a ring?

zaffi

FBaby wrote: »

Who cares what you're with, it's not about you, it is about your wife. If she is the type who wouldn't be one bit bothered, or who thought that the fact you mention it to her means that she has no reason to be worried at all, then all is well and option 2 is good.

If however she is the type, like most women (and some men) to worry about your intentions, then do whatever you have to do to reassure her considering how easy it is to do so. Do you really care to create a potential conflict between you two just because you've decided that she has no reason to worry at all? Do you really need to come to a forum to think of what to do? It is so obvious that if you really really believe that it is better not to bring the ring to keep it safe, what you should be doing is buy a cheap one to replace it as it's been immediately suggested. Surely you could have come up with this idea yourself?

Of course I could have, it, as i've previously posted, just hit me today. I thought it was a curious topic and used my wife as an example to guage others thoughts. The thread has played out much as i'd thought it would.

For what it's worth, I showed this thread to my wife and in particular some of the posts by londonsurrey and she burst out laughing

There is no issue between us, she knows i won't cheat but is also a realist and knows if i wanted to i could take the ring off the moment i left the house (or considering it's benidorm, leave it on from what i've been told!) and she'd never know.

I think it's called trust, we might have said something about it once, maybe in some sort of vow....

hippyadam

As a man I think that is simply practical thinking.

As a married man I think saying it to the wife is practically suicide...

lostinrates

My husband and i both often remove our rings for various activities. He has a few cheap ones he bought so he can relax about losing them. HOWEVER, neither of us would go on a stag hen holiday because we use his holiday time and weekends to be together mainly.