Not told of Son's wedding

maggy50

My Son got married recently and I only found out on a social network site.

I am devastated and keep asking myself what have I done to be shunned this way.!

Always worked hard an d put my family first I am a divorced parent of some years but living with my partner we all on the surface get on ok

I have never met his new wife and this young lady has never been mentioned but I was aware that he was seeing someone .

Is this a generation thing!!

Before anyone asks my son has been away at university and rarely comes home but we keep in touch.

Anyone else had to deal with this hurtful experience ?

PasturesNew

Any chance it is a joke? For the benefit of his in-crowd/mates? Some standing joke that went online as he didn't realise the reach of the Internet?

WantToBeSE

No, this is not a generation thing at all.
You MUST have some idea of why you dont have a good relationship with your son- its not like you just stop talking once they grow up.

Welshwoofs

PasturesNew wrote: »

Any chance it is a joke? For the benefit of his in-crowd/mates? Some standing joke that went online as he didn't realise the reach of the Internet?

That's what I was going to say. Unless the Op is aware of something broken in the relationship, it'd seem a little odd to just up and marry (unless a lot of alcohol and Las Vegas were in the equation) without even mentioning it to the parents.

honeypop

How did you find out on the site? See actual photos, read comments about the wedding, or see a relationship status change? Just trying to ascertain if it really did actually happen or something has made you think it has.

shellsuit

Have you asked him about it?

If not, maybe that's where the problem lies, that you both don't talk to each other.

thorsoak

Tough one In the first instance I would probably put in a jokey response such as "was my wedding hat not good enough for an invite?" - just in case it is one of those "in-jokes" that sometimes appears on my dgd's f/book page (she's not 16 yet so I know they are jokes) .

I'd then send a PM (if that is the way that you communicate) saying is there anything you hve to tell me - seriously? so that you can find out.

Of course if he has married, then I can understand your hurt - but if it has happened, then it has happened - you have to just accept it and go forward. My nephew told his mum on her birthday - oh by the way I'm getting married today - so I can't forget my wedding anniversary or your birthday :eek: :eek: !

It is just one day - you all have the rest of your lives to live - be happy for them if they are married

NAR

Was his father at the wedding? Might be why you weren't asked ie is he closer to his father?

Nan63

maggy50 wrote: »

My Son got married recently and I only found out on a social network site.

I am devastated and keep asking myself what have I done to be shunned this way.!

Always worked hard an d put my family first I am a divorced parent of some years but living with my partner we all on the surface get on ok

I have never met his new wife and this young lady has never been mentioned but I was aware that he was seeing someone .

Is this a generation thing!!

Before anyone asks my son has been away at university and rarely comes home but we keep in touch.

Anyone else had to deal with this hurtful experience ?

Only you know the truth of your relationship between you and your son OP. Have you spoken to him about this? Who makes the effort to keep in touch, what level of communication do you have?

It does sound hurtful but unless it is a wind up, you must know the reasons why.

julie03

does it just say he is married , because my son has done this and so have many of his friends, none of them are actually married, its just something they say when in a relationship, bit stupid i know but thats what loads of them seem to do nowadays

zagfles

NAR wrote: »

Was his father at the wedding? Might be why you weren't asked ie is he closer to his father?

I was thinking that, an ex-colleague of mine got married without telling her mother, but in her case I don't think it would have been a surprise.

To cut a long story short, her parents divorced when she was about 8, things were OK to start with, she lived with her mum but saw her dad regularly, then her dad met someone new and that caused her mum to become irrationally jealous and petty and she did everything she could to stop her seeing her dad, including lies about him not wanting to see her and destroying cards/presents sent etc.

She found out the truth when she was 17 and went to live with her dad, wanting nothing more to do with her mum at all, including getting married without inviting her.

Another friend's mum tried telling him she won't come to his wedding if his father's new wife was invited. He basically told her to grow up - his dad's new wife was being invited. The mum kept threatening not to go but did in the end.

Parents can be more childish than children sometimes