MSE Pregnancy Club 25

Rups32

hi cheqmate, hope your wife is ok? I am so sorry i cant help with that, as thankfully i was told i dont need to be tested, as apparently diabetes wasnt in my family? i hope that is the case as i did ask about it. you could also check out the NHS website who may give more advise about that? sorry no help there. :0(

Nephthys

Naming your child is about compromise Rups - you need to have a name you are both happy with - or an agreement to name your child that you are both happy with. We can both throw in any name we want but we both have the right to veto the other's suggestion. Right now our baby is nameless as we can't agree on either a boy's name or a girl's! We have some time and we are agreed that it has to be a name we both like. DS gets asked every now and agin what he thinks but he just laughs and say Mack (he's obsessed with Disney Pixar Cars!). In fairness he can pronounce the name really well - may have to put it on the the list!

Rups32

lol how sweet! yes and i have had a go at him because i made a big compromise about not finding out what we are having, so that the least he can do. i will be so upset otherwise. DH can be a right pain at times, stubborn as an !!!. i will work on it as i want part of me in there too. My mum once said that when we have kids, we would disagree on a lot of things as i am indian and he isnt. lol

Nephthys

For compromise sake what about an English first name and an Indian middle name this time - and then next time for second child - Indian name first and English name middle? Your children can then choose if they want to be known by either their English name or the Indian one?

There will always be compromises in a "mixed" marriage. There are compromises in any relationship but one from differnt cultures will have other things to deal with - you are just hitting up against one or 2 now - wait til you get onto religion and education!!!

Rups32

lol iknow... already been covered by my mum but i have to let her know that it is between me and DH as when we started dating, i was aware from the beginning that he is a catholic and i agreed that when we get together and have kids, they would be catholic too. i have no problem with that at all, because I am Sikh by religion but am not religious at all, otherwise i wouldnt be with him. She needs to understand too that it is not about her or the religion too as i wasnt so much to start with. then she starts saying that so-and-so's kid has this sikh name in it. and i just sigh as its an on-going battle. as long as me and dh are happy that is all that matters but between us, we struggle too. . this sounds like a very good compromise so will tell him. thanks hon.x

Nephthys

Mothers always have their opinions - we'll do the same to our kids some day. You mother's fear is possibly the thought that her grandchildren won't know/care enough about their Sikh heritage and that you won't teach them enough. I'm guessing though that you will teach them about it too even if they are raised as Catholic. And you are correct - it's none of your mother's business how you raise your child, what religion they are or what you name them! Stick to your guns on that one.

With regards to your hubby I think you're doing well - if you have an agreement as to the religion your children will be raised in then that is a massive plus. There is no reason why your children can't be raised as Catholic but still have a healthy respect for their Sikh background too!

My father told me on my wedding day "Never be afraid to have an argument but never go to bed cross with each other" - works for us so far! Lol! Don't go to bed cross with him. he's just being stubborn as he wants some say in the process - my DH was the same. Don't worry - you'll be able to have a name for baby when he/she arrives. My father locked my mother in the house the day before time ran out to register me and they had no choice but to pick something. He was fed up calling me "the baby". I still find it funny! My DH wasn't overly convinded on Ds's name - now he can't imagine him having any other one!

Bamama

Rups, how about suggesting names that are Indian but can be shortened to sound much like English names. We had a few in school... only one I can think of now is Samsud/Sam. There's a lot that are now widely used like, Alisha...? I always quite liked Parveen

Oh and I'm on baby sitting duty in work. The bosses dog is having a hissy fit because they are using a nail gun to do some building work. He's currently lying under my desk ><

Rups32

LOl sorry that was funny. your poor mum. it is hard but like you said there is always somehting to work towards. hard being with a stubborn man too. hehe. I am sure he will re-think and consider me.

was just telling someone that i am soooo looking forward to ML.lol

Rups32

thats a good suggestion too bamama thanks. i have a list and i have combined different names so he has to see and we can decide. i said he can add his suggestions too. def my kids will know about my heritage as that is how i was brought up and i know they will ask. i am sure my mum will do her bit too lol

CL

Rups are there any names that sound both a bit Indian and English? I like the name Jasmine, but feel like it would suit a brown eyed dark skinned girl, and as DH and I are both pale with green eyes, I don't think it would suit a baby of ours.