MSE Pregnancy Club 25

dizsiebubba

Marta - you can use a cotbed from day one!

sexymouse

dizsie your friend sounds like she's being really unsympathetic to your needs - I know it's her birthday, but the fact that you've spelt it out to her on a couple of occasions as to why you wouldn't be up for clubbing, means that she's obviously chosen to ignore your reasons, and is only thinking of herself. It doesn't sound like she's a very good friend to be honest. Hugs for you.

marta we intend to use our cotbed from day one too - we didn't think it worth getting a moses basket too as they can grow out of them so quickly.

CL

martafdz wrote: »

Mattress

Maybe this one from Babino Direct? £10 + p&p or collection from Huddersfield, check measurements. This one from Kiddicare is £25 + p&p. Babymattresses has them also at the same price for different sizes.

Advice
Talking about cots, cotbeds and moses... I want to save as much money as I can, whilst not compromising safety and wellbeing, but I do not want to buy anything that is not absolutely required or a timesaver. With me, my mum used a moses basket but then I was moved into a small single bed. Is this right? Can this be done? Why do we need a cot or cotbed? Can I buy instead a safeguard barrier so the child does not roll over and fall out? If you have children, for how long did you use the moses and the cot?

The links above are for crib mattresses and cot mattresses, so not big enough for a cot bed, but I'll have a look on their websites, thanks!

A baby only stays in a moses basket until it can roll over/ pull itself up. My DD was rolling from back to front at 12 weeks. That would be much too young for a bed of her own, as babies can slip under the covers and suffocate. In a cot you put them with their feet to the bottom, to stop them sliding down under the covers. you can skip the moses basket and go straight to the cot if you want.

I think a second hand cot/cot bed would be fine and very cheap (we got one for £30). I'll just clean it with anti-bac wipes and get a new mattress and it'll be like new.

dizsiebubba

sexymouse wrote: »

It doesn't sound like she's a very good friend to be honest. Hugs for you.

I have felt that way about the 3 of them for about a year now... problem is that my and OH have been togther since school and they are my only friends that are MY FRIENDS... the rest are joint friends and I worry that if ever the worst did happen I would be alone....but then it seems they probably wouldn't care anyway or be there to support me!

savageHK

If anyone is thinking about the eco-impact of disposables, but can't go reusable; we saw this idea at the baby show a few weeks back: they collect your dirties and recycle them! https://www.nappies2go.com

savageHK

CL wrote: »

In a cot you put them with their feet to the bottom, to stop them sliding down under the covers.

If you have a baby sleeping bag don't you not need covers at all?

sexymouse

It's a tricky one that one dizsie - I know exactly where you're coming from regarding friends that are your separate friends from school. I'm hoping that going to Mum and baby groups when DH is at work will help me to make some more friends that are just mine - there's nothing worse than not having someone you can moan to about your OH if you've had an argument etc.

Rups32

dizsie that sucks about your friend. iam sorry but that is selfish. dont go if you are not up for it. why cant she be a tab bit considerate. i have let go a lot of 'friends' that are like that and just bother about themselves. i used to have ones that whenever i emailed, called, would go and on about themselves and their issues and nt even asking me how i am.they were deleted. hugs for you though. xxx

at the mothercare event, we were told that it is preferred if a baby is first put into a moses basket as they feel that same way they did in our belly and all comfy and in that space. she then said after a few months, it is handy to transfer them into a cotbed. that is how most cot deaths can be avoided.

sexymouse

Rups there is no evidence that I'm aware of that suggests that babies put into a cotbed rather than a moses basket are at any greater risk of SIDS. As long as the baby is placed foot to foot in the cotbed, has the right room temperature, blankets etc and is in the same room as you, then they should be safe. The trouble with putting a baby in a moses basket in my opinion is that they then find it hard to transition to the cotbed stage later on. Yes, it is nice to mimic the conditions in the womb by making it cosy for them, but at some point they are going to have to get used to a larger space. I think the reason a lot of people use moses baskets is the convenience of being able to move them upstairs and downstairs in them etc and because they are small enough to put next to the bed beside you if you are breastfeeding. Remember the lady in mothercare is also trying to sell you something!

martafdz

dizsie, you can also start trying to make new friends now, friends with babies maybe who can understand your needs? I am not suggesting you should ditch your current ones, but knowing where they stand, you should not depend on them either. Sometimes it is difficult for people to really understand other people's circumstances and changes if they have not had experienced it for themselves. In her view, maybe is you who should accommodate because it's her birthday and she should not organize it around you, but about what she really wants to do. It is not nice and it shows she cannot really understand how it feels for you, but she might not be able to understand until she is in it herself. Not that she is a bad person, but she cannot be the support you ask for at the moment because she wouldn't know how to anyway.

I am almost in the same situation, but in my case I feel that not only my personal circumstances are different but that I have also evolved in different ways to them, we have different values and different ways of entertaining. Nothing wrong with them, or me, but I think I need to meet new friends with whom to share this new phase in my life. Otherwise, I might just drag a relationship that actually might make me feel more isolated than if I were just alone. Maybe just meet new ones to add to the current ones?

Thanks for the advice on the moses, I thought you had to have a moses, but being optional, I might have a look at cotbeds directly, or even a cot. How long do you use the cot for? One year?