MSE Pregnancy Club 25

Rups32

right ladies think i am off to bed and read my book. feel a bit weird and back hurts and belly too.. i wonder what is going on? i better try and chill out a bit as dont feel very relaxed.need to get out tomorrow ithink. been at home far too long as well. night sweeties xx

morocha

hello girlies !! With many of you recently given birth and many of us in the last 30 wks.. it is good to leave it all out open...

Remember the first shower ?/ I rememeber after two or three hs dd was born i was told to get a shower ( being foreign and 21 yo and a 24 hs labour behing my back did not help and i went along).. They said DH could come in with me if i wanted him to help me, i refused... As soon as i got in, i was bleeding, my tummy deflated, i felt weak like i was going to faint, sick... it was a shock seeing my body in that state, dont know why i never thought of the aftermatch of pregnancy.
IF your hospital does this, do not have a shower until you want to. This time i will only have it when I want to have it, not when i am told to have one.

My birth plan went pants, they never checked and i never thought it was going to be that tough ( she was back to back), they never checked my notes and just asked as we went along... i am not lying when i say that doing the birth plan this time is not something that is boring me at the slighlest. I am just not interested, as the chances of going to plan are minimal. I do however have in my notes what i do not want or what to do in a true case of emergency.

Gillyx

You may get lucky, my hospital ran me a bath the next morning with lovely healing oils in it

martafdz

I did like the first shower though. They had like a plastic bench for you to sit down and shower there, it didn't look like a shower. I took my time and had a warm shower. Avoid the strong stream on the stitches I put it down to be gentle, and st.home o mainly filled.the bath a few inches and soaked the area whilst I used the shower head on other parts.

Lozzy88

I have only never been ran bath after my labours, as for birth plans they don't get read, I didn't have one with dd and with both ds I wrote I want oh there, I want gas and air (with more options avaliable if needed) , i would like the placenta injection and I am happy for baby to have vit k drops keep it short and sweet them there are no disapointments.

dizziblonde

Gillyx wrote: »

You may get lucky, my hospital ran me a bath the next morning with lovely healing oils in it

My hospital sent me to the shower with five used maternity pads already living in it - I named them after the members of Take That when they were still living there a few days later!

I need to have a LONG talk with the midwife I think to see what my options are - after the train wreck that was the last birth, I'm still in no way shape or form mentally at all right - had the mandatory nightly crying spell again at 3am this morning both replaying what went on last time and fretting about this time again and again. Not sure what else I can do to try to at least file it away so I don't have to replay it - I've tried the Birth Trauma Association who weren't much use since they're mainly women who were physically damaged (at least on their FB group) and it was the emotional impact of how I was treated and what went on (although I make a joke about it all now a lot) that destroyed me... Bliss helped a bit dealing with the prematurity angle, but I'm already on as much anxiety medication as I can take and need to withdraw from that fairly soon too... and I'm still having nightmares and flashbacks on a nightly basis over it all.

For those who don't know - with the SPD I had last time and this time I was terrified of permanent damage and being left in that level of pain forever - and although I was just about dealing with the going in for to be checked out turning into waters leaking and the idea of a prem baby and having to do the entire labour on 2 paracetamol as no one would check to even know I'd dilated... when the baby got into difficulty (at least partly because they were physically holding me down onto the bed to keep the trace machine on while pulling my legs apart causing me real pain in my pelvis doing so) they got very confrontational over it all and me panicking at the idea of them doing a spinal and forceps - I was scared they'd force my legs too far open and wreck my pelvis permanently - although I couldn't really convey that to them... in the end they bullied me into what they wanted (and did exactly what I feared - one hip in particular has never ever been right since) - but I got back from the first time I got to hold her down in neo-natal to find they'd called social services on me for child protection issues as I'd been a "resistant patient" down in the labour suite... had to go through the full child-risk investigation process... and although we have no case to answer - we'll always remain on their records as "known to social services". I've since found out the hospital in question have past form of doing this to anyone who questions what they want to do to them - and I have nightmares about childhood bumps and bashes leading to them looking at us again and coming for her... and so this time I'm utterly terrified of speaking or acting out of line at all and triggering any interest in me - so birth plans and wishes and all that are pretty pointless as I HAVE to let them do whatever they want to me without question to save both my children... which is really messing with my head. I've been terrified throughout that there'd be some kind of obligation to tell SS in advance I'm pregnant again - there isn't apparently - and ever since DD1 was born - I've been parenting with one eye toward covering my backside in case they get interested in me again - making sure she's at baby clinic more often than most parents bother, making sure we're seen regularly at the children's centre and the like - just so I have as much "proof" as I can that we're doing the right stuff.

Yet I've got nowhere I can talk it through, no way of appealling what went on - and even if I mention it on places like here - the resident harpies of "you'd only have been reported if you'd done something to warrant it" kick in - so there's no way of even beginning to deal with it... as the birth gets nearer, and passing the viability point really triggered off a lot of it, I'm getting more and more scared of how I'll cope and if I'll (again) totally innocently, trying to protect my own wellbeing (and by consequence that of the family who deserve a mother who isn't wracked with pain and can't walk) versus the doctors who at at least one of the local hospitals (hopefully the one I'm NOT going back to although the units close to new admissions fairly often here so it's touch and go where I'll end up) have stated to me regularly "oh we don't actually care about the women - we're only interested in the babies"... and I'm an insomniac mess about it all.

morocha

Dizzi, that is awful !! Would given birth in another hospital or state ( don't know where you live) be an idea?. I would never go back to a hospital that did that to me.

morocha

i've hear that when you have a c section they are a be more nicer to you in my particular hospital. But running baths with oils is unheard of.
Marta, it was not the shower the problem, it was that it was too close to the birth, with stitches, with a long labour, with no sleeping... it was all too much.
They also did not bath the baby, they said they did not do that anymore, so after two days in hospital ive got to take home a dirty baby and the whole scary experience of giving her a bath, it was good tho, we discovered she had longish wavy hair once her hair was washed

dizziblonde

morocha wrote: »

Dizzi, that is awful !! Would given birth in another hospital or state ( don't know where you live) be an idea?. I would never go back to a hospital that did that to me.

I'm booked in in the other hospital in the same city this time - however the services are so stretched they regularly close it to new admissions and divert women to the bad hospital (if they're lucky) or a hospital either 15 or 40 or 50 miles away (that featured on the crap-hospitals Panorama recently).

Lozzy88

morocha wrote: »

Dizzi, that is awful !! Would given birth in another hospital or state ( don't know where you live) be an idea?. I would never go back to a hospital that did that to me.

I have just finished reading and was thinking them same thing dizzi.

It sounds truely awful, I think your fully justified in all your worries, I just wish I knew of a organisation or charity that you could get counselling from before next baby arrives as I think your fears are going to make your labour much more difficult and like you say, you children deserve ,much more then you in pain and in edge wondering when social services could appear next. As dizzi what a mess you have been through. :grouphug: