Curfew for a 17 year old

Bennifred

alex21 wrote: »

I just felt like updating on the situation with the 'abandoned' 16 year old one year on and thank those who responded for their input. The parents did return a few weeks later. Sadly I just found out tonight that the young lad is in hospital after taking an overdose. I feel terribly sad for him and cannot imagine how his parents must be feeling.

How dreadful, alex

I hope the lad recovers and receives the help he needs. Young men are sometimes more vulnerable than they appear. Thanks for the update.

System

I don't have rules as such but my 17 year old knows I don't want him walking home alone after 11pm. He's never pushed it.

His Dad had to pick him up once due to the fact he was so inebriated he couldn't stand (his friends phoned me) and his Dad made his life hell for a week. I don't think he's in any rush to repeat the experience. We all make mistakes.... at his age I was married and pregnant (the pregnancy wasn't the mistake the marriage was).

He's stayed at his friends houses several times though after a party (and thrown up several times in their toilet from what I can gather).

He's also stayed at his girlfriends house for a week.

I trust him to a point... I just don't trust the rest of the world that's all.

pukkamum

Once I started college my life was my own as far as my mum was concerned, although she did want to know if I would be in for tea ha ha ha.
I
My friends and I were big ravers and would often go to all nighters, no way could I have done this with a curfew, but I was sensible and always got in at a reasonable time on weekdays.
Is there really going to be that mich difference between now and a few months when he is 18, because you really won't be able to curfew him then.
Not having a curfew made me much more respectful towards my mum, she was treating me like an adult and so I acted like one, if she treated me like a child, then I would have done as your son is and acted like a child, you can't have it both ways.
My friend had a curfew which she regularly broke as she wanted to go raving with us, and it caused nothing but angst and arguments with her parents, in the end they relented and life was a lot happier for them all.

shelley_crow

My dear mother was a complete and utter control freak. She used to make it really hard for me to go out but either refusing point blank for me to go out or saying I could and then changing her mind at the last minute. She thought she was in control but it didn't stop me going out at 17, it just made life really unpleasant when I got in eventually! She unbent very slightly when I was 18 and got a job in a pub, not by much though!

I left home at 18 when she told me what university she'd picked for me! ( local of course) Also on the day that she attempted to ground me, yes at 18 years of age! There were other issues going on too but she really didn't help herself. She's one of those people who had to be in complete control and if this couldn't be achieved by shouting, then she used to use money as a.bribe, with strings attached of course.

I haven't seen her for 10 years, there's no loss there! It taught me how it feels to be completely smothered, a mistake i won't be making with my own kids.

KxMx

I don't think I ever had a curfew, mind you lived out in the sticks with no transport until I was 17 so I couldn't go out anyway. Once we moved to the town again no curfew, my Mother treated me like an adult and to take responsibility for myself and manage my own time (ie late night then college not good!). There was however a rule that I had to let her know if I wasn't coming home at all, totally understood and respected that. That is still in place today for the both of us

onetomany

my 16 year old dosent have one

Faith177

I never had a curfew growing up my mum felt I was sensible enough to know what time was acceptable to be in. Her only request was that I texted her occasionally to let her know what I was up too. When I was at school the latest would be about midnight but once I left school and started going clubbing with my friends I wouldn't get in until often 4am.

Basically the club I went to kicked out at about 1ish then a group of us would walk the 6 miles home as a group dropping people off on the way.

My mum reasoned it was safer for me to walk home with a big group of friends than get the last bus home on my own.

scooby088

I haven't come to this problem yet but I would think I would set a 11pm curfew, when doors are locked and they forget their key they can sleep outside. If they don't like that they can find somewhere else to live. Also I have never came in the house past 2am but I always had my key, if the kids don't respect the rules even when they reach adulthood they can live elsewhere.

CH27

alex21 wrote: »

I just felt like updating on the situation with the 'abandoned' 16 year old one year on and thank those who responded for their input. The parents did return a few weeks later. Sadly I just found out tonight that the young lad is in hospital after taking an overdose. I feel terribly sad for him and cannot imagine how his parents must be feeling.

Oh how awful!

j.e.j.

At 17 I used to go out Friday night and come home Monday morning :rotfl:

My parents lived in the middle of nowhere, and taxi fares would have been extortionate, so I stayed at my friends for the weekend.