Boyfriend/husband and lap dancing clubs..???

VestanPance

thatgirlsam wrote: »

And I have to say.. I think there are a LOT of men who say they don't watch !!!!!! for the fear of upsetting their OH

Probably, but there are also a lot of men that just don't watch it.

dragonette

thatgirlsam wrote: »

And I have to say.. I think there are a LOT of men who say they don't watch !!!!!! for the fear of upsetting their OH

I have no doubt that some do lie about it, but not all. My OH is quite open that he used to watch !!!!!!, but got thoroughly bored of it. I don't really get the appeal of it either, so atm we're perfectly compatible with regards to !!!!!!. If that changes, we'll discuss it and come to some sort of agreement. We're both adults!

More generally, are we so bombarded that the idea that men all get off on !!!!!! that the idea that some don't is unbelievable? I don't care if anyone likes !!!!!! or doesn't, as long as both partners agree so noone gets hurt.

heartbreak_star

A few people on this thread have mentioned body image...I know my OH is faithful, I know he loves me and always says I make him very happy.

HOWEVER...he is stunning - he's handsome, articulate, funny, clever and generous, and despite not seeing it he turns heads wherever we go.

I'm short, plain, fat and dumpy and have no idea why he's with me. I would hate him going to a strip club as I think he'd see those girls and realise he can do better then me

I do think if he went to one on a stag night or whatever, I'd bite my tongue. But if he started going regularly, or got a private dance, that's a deal-breaker.

HBS x

VestanPance

dragonette wrote: »

More generally, are we so bombarded that the idea that men all get off on !!!!!! that the idea that some don't is unbelievable?

I don't see the fun in watching others have sex. I guess that makes me the opposite of a voyeur.

In life in general I always prefer to do things rather than watch or read about them.

PrincessPlaty

mumoftwins wrote: »

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

The amount of blokes that go in and the girls try to talk to them and they say 'sorry love i'm not interested' far outweighs the number of men that do have dances!

That's probably because, in the public area, they can watch the dancers who have been paid for by other men!

No because paid for private dances can not be seen by those that have not paid!

VestanPance wrote: »

Probably, but there are also a lot of men that just don't watch it.

Go out on the high street and did a survey did you? How do you know that?

Slightly outdated but none of the less

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/6709646/All-men-watch-!!!!!!-scientists-find.html

Researchers were conducting a study comparing the views of men in their 20s who had never been exposed to pornography with regular users.
But their project stumbled at the first hurdle when they failed to find a single man who had not been seen it.
“We started our research seeking men in their 20s who had never consumed pornography,” said Professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse. “We couldn't find any.”
Although hampered in its original aim, the study did examined the habits of those young men who used pornography – which would appear to be all of them.
Prof Lajeunesse interviewed 20 heterosexual male university students who consumed pornography, and found on average, they first watched pornography when they were 10 years old.
Around 90 per cent of consumption was on the internet, while 10 per cent of material came from video stores.
Single men watched pornography for an average of 40 minutes, three times a week, while those in relationships watched it 1.7 times a week for around 20 minutes.
The study found that men watched pornography that matched their own image of sexuality, and quickly discarded material they found offensive or distasteful.
Prof Lajeunesse said pornography did not have a negative effect on men's sexuality.
“Not one subject had a pathological sexuality,” he said. “In fact, all of their sexual practices were quite conventional.
“Pornography hasn't changed their perception of women or their relationship, which they all want to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible,” he added.

Lotus-eater

heartbreak_star wrote: »

A few people on this thread have mentioned body image...I know my OH is faithful, I know he loves me and always says I make him very happy.

HOWEVER...he is stunning - he's handsome, articulate, funny, clever and generous, and despite not seeing it he turns heads wherever we go.

I'm short, plain, fat and dumpy and have no idea why he's with me. I would hate him going to a strip club as I think he'd see those girls and realise he can do better then me

He sees those girls anyway they are all about us, there's always going to be someone better looking than you.

It sounds like you have your perfect OH, don't muck it up by seeing something that isn't there. Try seeing yourself through his eyes, he always says you make him happy, I think he's trying to bolster your confidence in your relationship. Let him, embrace it.

duchy

Do I want a bloke who thinks it's erotic or a turn on to watch a bored woman dance sexually for money ?

Honestly -who wants a bloke that limited ?

Lotus-eater

VestanPance wrote: »

I don't see the fun in watching others have sex. I guess that makes me the opposite of a voyeur.

In life in general I always prefer to do things rather than watch or read about them.

How do you know what to do if you've never watched or read about it?
.......Do you just magically know how to have a good sex life? I didn't, I'm 40 and I'm still learning, still getting new ideas, still keeping it interesting and new. :cool:

VestanPance

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Go out on the high street and did a survey did you? How do you know that?

I'm male. I don't watch it. I know others that do and others that don't.

Like that study I'd be surprised if someone got to their 20's without having seen it, but like many things in life some will walk away from it never to return.

Do you even understand the point to that research you linked? How was it conducted? What was its aim? Printed press is an awful place for getting anything of note from academic research.

Lotus-eater

duchy wrote: »

Do I want a bloke who thinks it's erotic or a turn on to watch a bored woman dance sexually for money ?

Honestly -who wants a bloke that limited ?

They try not to look bored :rotfl: