Boyfriend/husband and lap dancing clubs..???

peachyprice

Person_one wrote: »

What a shame that she worked so hard to pay for the degree and then completely wasted it.

Why? Did she mysteriously lose all that education when she flung her knickers off?

Person_one

peachyprice wrote: »

Why? Did she mysteriously lose all that education when she flung her knickers off?

Well, yes there is education for its own sake, but it does sadden me to see a well educated intelligent woman abandon that side of life in order to make money from her sexuality.

Spendless

A few years ago Mr S was on a night out with some blokes who he worked with. These blokes had told him that they'd been to a lap dancing club some weeks previously and had paid £180 (each!). At the end of the night out, these blokes decided to go to a lap dancing club again and asked hubby is he'd join them, he refused. At this point they took the pee asking 'why, wouldn't your missus like it' to which hubby replied 'My wife wouldn't be in the slightest bit bothered about me going to a lap dancing club..she would however b-ollock me for spending over £200 on a night out'

Person_one

snozberry wrote: »

You calling me silly because I questioned your possible insecurity makes me wonder if I touched a raw nerve.

You didn't, I don't actually have any raw nerves.

RuthnJasper

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

Thanks RuthnJasper. We also live together in a rented house, so that could also be messy seeing as neither of us can afford to live in the house on our own!:(

Oh no! Well, what I would suggest is, perhaps, taking a little step back for a moment and having a breather before coming to any major decision.

EVERY relationship goes through tough stages - this episode seems to have brought things to a head and, possibly, what you are really annoyed about isn't the lap-dance per se but the chap's general attitude towards women in general and you in particular - this was, perhaps, the "lightbulb moment" for feelings which have been bubbling under the surface for a while.

I know it sounds a bit naff, but would you be able to write him a letter (NOT via Twitter or email or Facebook, but a pen-&-paper letter) explaining your feelings and why you feel unappreciated and let-down? Perhaps you could also acknowledge that you might have made him feel uneasy about the male stripper episode - after all, he DOESN'T know everything about that and the inclination is generally to assume the worst.

But the bottom line is this - is the relationship worth saving? If so, then perhaps this could be a new beginning for you both; perhaps he didn't realise how hurtful you were finding his attitude? Do you think he deserves a chance to try and put things right?

Ultimately, I suspect that there is more to your feelings than how your b/f behaved during one p*ssed-up night with his lairy mates. Only you can make the final decision - but please do consider all the options before you boot him out over this indiscretion.

Good luck to you sweetie. xx

peachyprice

Person_one wrote: »

Well, yes there is education for its own sake, but it does sadden me to see a well educated intelligent woman abandon that side of life in order to make money from her sexuality.

But it's a short term thing isn't it, she can't have that many more years left.

There's no reason why she can't make enough money now from men stupid enough to pay to watch her dance, get herself a nice little nest egg, pay off her student loans and start a career using her education without having to struggle financially at the bottom of the ladder. Quite a smart move really.

Tropez

peachyprice wrote: »

But it's a short term thing isn't it, she can't have that many more years left.

There's no reason why she can't make enough money now from men stupid enough to pay to watch her dance, get herself a nice little nest egg, pay off her student loans and start a career using her education without having to struggle financially at the bottom of the ladder. Quite a smart move really.

That's how I see it. As I recall, it wasn't her long term career goal to do this. I can't recall what her degree was but with the money she's bringing in at the moment there's potentially the prospect of starting her own business from the profits.

If someone wanted to pay me that much to talk crap on a phone and wiggle my bits about I'd jump at the chance. Sadly, I don't have much of a personality and as I mentioned elsewhere I look like a cross between Tony Soprano and Fozzy Bear so I'm not sure I have the looks either!

Lancslass1982

Thanks RuthnJasper for your post. This all blew up months ago, at the start of the year I think, but I don't really think there's been much of a change.

At the end of the day, I think we have some issues and differences that I just don't think can be overcome and that I think will just drive us further apart.

I don't think there is enough physical attraction there for me really. I hate to say it. Even at the beginning of the relationship, there were never any really strong feelings of passion. I never feel like I just have to have him! He also has quite a low sex drive (I don't know if that's just with me). I was very used to my ex waking me up in the morning, pulling me to him for sex, but my current bf is hardly ever up for sex at any other time than at night.

He isn't ambitious, which I know not everyone can be. But I have aspirations and I don't think he really does. I think he'd be content if life just stayed the same. I would not.

He doesn't believe in marriage and I do. If I stay with him, I don't think I'll ever be married and that makes me sad.

He is also messy and a bit gross really. Leaves plates of half eaten food on the work tops instead of putting it in the waste disposal, teaspoons on top of the tea towel or just on the work surface. Beard shavings all over the top of the toilet - the list goes on. Sounds petty, but after a while it gets old.

I just think we are fundamentally incompatible and this lap dance thing is the icing on the cake!

Mrs_Ryan

Personally, I wouldnt be bothered. It would be up to him but my only stipulation is that he didnt tell me. He doesnt like to know what goes on at my rugby do's for the same reason and so I wouldnt mind at all if he wanted to go to one of these clubs. Neither do I have an issue with him watching p0rn.

FATBALLZ

From a male perspective, I think given that you've been involved in a game involving some random blokes (presumably hard) knob you don't really have much cause to complain about him ogling a stripper. You're as bad as each other.