Boyfriend/husband and lap dancing clubs..???

RuthnJasper

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

Thanks RuthnJasper for your post. This all blew up months ago, at the start of the year I think, but I don't really think there's been much of a change.

At the end of the day, I think we have some issues and differences that I just don't think can be overcome and that I think will just drive us further apart.

I don't think there is enough physical attraction there for me really. I hate to say it. Even at the beginning of the relationship, there were never any really strong feelings of passion. I never feel like I just have to have him! He also has quite a low sex drive (I don't know if that's just with me). I was very used to my ex waking me up in the morning, pulling me to him for sex, but my current bf is hardly ever up for sex at any other time than at night.

He isn't ambitious, which I know not everyone can be. But I have aspirations and I don't think he really does. I think he'd be content if life just stayed the same. I would not.

He doesn't believe in marriage and I do. If I stay with him, I don't think I'll ever be married and that makes me sad.

He is also messy and a bit gross really. Leaves plates of half eaten food on the work tops instead of putting it in the waste disposal, teaspoons on top of the tea towel or just on the work surface. Beard shavings all over the top of the toilet - the list goes on. Sounds petty, but after a while it gets old.

I just think we are fundamentally incompatible and this lap dance thing is the icing on the cake!

Sounds like you have made up your mind sweetie. In that case, deal with it sooner rather than later - and good luck to you. Somewhere there is a man who is right for you and isn't a leering slob.

I've noticed that there have been replies from men on this thread - hopefully this has demonstrated that not ALL men need to seek out sordid "entertainments". Of course, any bloke needs space to go out with his mates to play sport/drink/unwind/laugh about their OHs/tell bad jokes about t*ts/etc., and fair play to them. But not every bloke needs to validate their masculinity or top-off their night out with recourse to sex-establishments.

Alas, you might not meet with such success in your latter issue:-

He is also messy and a bit gross really. Leaves plates of half eaten food on the work tops instead of putting it in the waste disposal, teaspoons on top of the tea towel or just on the work surface. Beard shavings all over the top of the toilet

- This pretty-much sums up men universally... sorry honeybee...

Wishing you better times ahead. xx

Barny1979

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

Thanks RuthnJasper for your post. This all blew up months ago, at the start of the year I think, but I don't really think there's been much of a change.

At the end of the day, I think we have some issues and differences that I just don't think can be overcome and that I think will just drive us further apart.

I don't think there is enough physical attraction there for me really. I hate to say it. Even at the beginning of the relationship, there were never any really strong feelings of passion. I never feel like I just have to have him! He also has quite a low sex drive (I don't know if that's just with me). I was very used to my ex waking me up in the morning, pulling me to him for sex, but my current bf is hardly ever up for sex at any other time than at night.

He isn't ambitious, which I know not everyone can be. But I have aspirations and I don't think he really does. I think he'd be content if life just stayed the same. I would not.

He doesn't believe in marriage and I do. If I stay with him, I don't think I'll ever be married and that makes me sad.

He is also messy and a bit gross really. Leaves plates of half eaten food on the work tops instead of putting it in the waste disposal, teaspoons on top of the tea towel or just on the work surface. Beard shavings all over the top of the toilet - the list goes on. Sounds petty, but after a while it gets old.

I just think we are fundamentally incompatible and this lap dance thing is the icing on the cake!

The private dance just tops things off, you aren't meant to be for numerous reasons.

PrincessPlaty

Person_one wrote: »

Well, yes there is education for its own sake, but it does sadden me to see a well educated intelligent woman abandon that side of life in order to make money from her sexuality.

Never in my life have i ever heard so much rubbish!

I used to work behind the bar in a strip club, and I got to know all the girls that worked there (and still work there now). They are all now very good friends of mine.
Not one of them has abandoned their education, not one of them is acting dumb. They are all highly intelligent women. Some of which run their own businesses during the day, others who have other jobs working for employers, some who are still studying. On a god night I have known them to earn £500+ for for 5 hours work.

Not one of them has any debts, not one of them wants for anything, they all live a comfortable life style because they can.
One of them left last month to go and live in Australia at the age of 22, another has just bought her first house mortgage free at the age of 24. I could go on! They all have boyfriends/husbands some of them have kids at home, not one of them user's their real name neither.

They don't do it because they have to or are lowering themselves to do it. They look at it as its easy money and its money that is going to leave them in good standing for the rest of their lives.

They don't get naked, they have to leave their knickers/thong on at all times. They don't walk about topless before 11pm they have to be in evening gowns, after 11 they can wear what they please as long as private parts are covered (so this could be a bikini for example no different to what you would see on a beach!).

Private dances there is no touching at all! It's not allowed and if anybody attempted to they would be out the door faster than their feet could touch the ground! They are not allowed to take phone numbers or contact details of any men from the club, they are not allowed to leave the club with anybody.

There are so many rules that they have in the ways in which they can dance for example one foot on the floor at all times. The rules have to be in place or the club would lose their license so it is strict.

Up until recently I was working as a model up to art nude earning up to £50 an hour, why did I do it? Because it was easy money and allowed me to build up a decent amount of savings so I had nothing to fall back on. I certainly wasn't degrading myself by doing so! I wish I had the same confidence as my friends do as I would be joining them!

As for the original question if my partner wanted to go I would have absolutely no objections at all. As long as he didn't have a dance with one of my friends as that would be a bit weird :rotfl:

dramaqueen1973

azzabazza wrote: »

Sorry, but no. MY DH went to a 'gogo' bar in the 70s which were all the rage (girls dancing on the bar, topless I think). A stag do. He came home twirling a bikini top which was the 'prize'. We had words!

:rotfl: lol!!! I nearly choked in my coffee when read this...sooo funny!!

Drama xx

VestanPance

RuthnJasper wrote: »

This pretty-much sums up men universally... sorry honeybee...

As a representative of the males I'd just like to say no it doesn't. Some of us like to keep things clean and tidy.

Gloomendoom

carolan78 wrote: »

I've not read the full thread but I wouldn't have an issue with it. If DH wants to waste his free cash by getting frustrated that's his choice

That's my take on lap dancing.

Paying somebody to give you blue balls. Why would you do it?

dizsiebubba

Go along & not have a dance... why pay for a dance when he could come home and have a lot more than that for nothing... ok well not totally for nothing, he has to make sure I get a fair deal from it too!

Person_one

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Never in my life have i ever heard so much rubbish!

I used to work behind the bar in a strip club, and I got to know all the girls that worked there (and still work there now). They are all now very good friends of mine.
Not one of them has abandoned their education, not one of them is acting dumb. They are all highly intelligent women. Some of which run their own businesses during the day, others who have other jobs working for employers, some who are still studying. On a god night I have known them to earn £500+ for for 5 hours work.

Not one of them has any debts, not one of them wants for anything, they all live a comfortable life style because they can.
One of them left last month to go and live in Australia at the age of 22, another has just bought her first house mortgage free at the age of 24. I could go on! They all have boyfriends/husbands some of them have kids at home, not one of them user's their real name neither.

They don't do it because they have to or are lowering themselves to do it. They look at it as its easy money and its money that is going to leave them in good standing for the rest of their lives.

They don't get naked, they have to leave their knickers/thong on at all times. They don't walk about topless before 11pm they have to be in evening gowns, after 11 they can wear what they please as long as private parts are covered (so this could be a bikini for example no different to what you would see on a beach!).

Private dances there is no touching at all! It's not allowed and if anybody attempted to they would be out the door faster than their feet could touch the ground! They are not allowed to take phone numbers or contact details of any men from the club, they are not allowed to leave the club with anybody.

There are so many rules that they have in the ways in which they can dance for example one foot on the floor at all times. The rules have to be in place or the club would lose their license so it is strict.

Up until recently I was working as a model up to art nude earning up to £50 an hour, why did I do it? Because it was easy money and allowed me to build up a decent amount of savings so I had nothing to fall back on. I certainly wasn't degrading myself by doing so! I wish I had the same confidence as my friends do as I would be joining them!

As for the original question if my partner wanted to go I would have absolutely no objections at all. As long as he didn't have a dance with one of my friends as that would be a bit weird :rotfl:

I wasn't talking about any of those women, I'd never heard of them until your post! I was referring to a specific woman.

I am certainly aware that strippers/lap dancers/sex workers are real people with whole lives. That's kind of my point.

Oh, and I certainly don't think you can compare life modelling with stripping in any way at all. The intention is completely different. I've taken many life classes, with male and female models of every age, size and shape. The aim is not arousal!

Person_one

VestanPance wrote: »

As a representative of the males I'd just like to say no it doesn't. Some of us like to keep things clean and tidy.

Yeah, you can't really generalise about 50% of the population!

My ex was a complete neat freak, drove me up the wall!

PrincessPlaty

Person_one wrote: »

I wasn't talking about any of those women, I'd never heard of them until your post! I was referring to a specific woman.

I am certainly aware that strippers/lap dancers/sex workers are real people with whole lives. That's kind of my point...

Well who were you talking about then? The thread is about strip clubs/lap dancing clubs?

Strippers, lap dancers, models, adult (not !!!!!!) models (not including sex workers because that is something totally different) are all ways of making money quite easily without degrading yourself and without 'wasting' your education.

Your education, degree will always be there it isn't going to go anywhere just because you are a dancer/model.