"He is dying..."

nixe

meant to say i am glad you had grandparents to rescue you.
i was jealous of the kids that were put into a home.

missprice

nixe wrote: »

meant to say i am glad you had grandparents to rescue you.
i was jealous of the kids that were put into a home.

And I was eaten up with jealousy when I found out at age (approx) 9 years that I had a sister who had been adopted at birth (well at 6 weeks old)
And years later I met her and she was eaten up the same because I got to stay with 'Mother'
there was nothing I could say to help her.
It seems nothing I said could convince her I had a god awful time with 'mother' and 'mother's husband.
Unfortunately we have not kept in touch and I sorely wish we had, but she had a different life and I think I spoiled her image a little being divorced with two kids and living on the wrong side of the tracks.

whew
Cathartic or what.

GG keep strong our lass

GobbledyGook

nixe wrote: »

you know with you saying this i will take the money as you know whats it was like, if either my hubby or kids said it, then it would have had no impact as they have no idea what it was like, so thank you
your a few years older than my eldest she could put a deposit down and my son is at uni so the money will help as sassy blue says.
you have certainly done well you changed a horrid start in life into a success not just the money side of it but all of it. please keep us updated on how you get on, xxnixe

Definitely keep it then. It'll never make up for it, but any "compensation" (I can't think of another, better word) should be taken imo.


I was lucky in life, my grandparents stepped in early (we were with them and getting help when we were 7) and they took a huge chance. They just took us on a weekend and went for the legal channels after. Not probably a recommended course of action, but was the best thing to happen to us.

I hope things work out for you. This place is great for chatting and venting. Do let us know how you get on too. Gemma x

Barneysmom

You sound a lot happier than whenyou started this thread GG

Personally I think I'd be tempted to sell the house and give the cash to the donkey sanctuary just to annoy The Aunts (your Grandmother would be spinning in her grave ) - but that's me being pedantic I guess

nixe

thanx will do gemma xx
missprice hopefully one day you and your sister will met up again
she must have thought you had a perfect life
the reality is different.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

nixe wrote: »

I also want to make sure there is no attempts from them to get him buried with my mother and brother.

sorry to hear you had both parents bad.[ sorry if i got it wrong and thats your dads opinon of your mum ]
my mum i loved and no way on earth would i allow him to be with her when he goes an it should be soon.
your dad is still showing its all about him, surpose my dad is too as he is not and never has been interested in the grandkids,
i know if i would have been getting those texts then i would not have gone,
i do wonder if my dad is worried as to what we do with his body after he has gone the way i felt i would have left him in the morgue.

How about donating his body to medical science ?

No funeral then.

Savvy_Sue

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

How about donating his body to medical science ?

No funeral then.

Medical science might not want it, I hear they're a bit fussy!

londonsurrey

nixe wrote: »

it was because of mum is why i went to see him. he is a alcholic as well
she got away from him when i was 22 and she became a mum.
now the hate i have for him has never been dealt with so last sunday
i surpose it could be counted as councilling { glad yours helped }
i came away feeling lighter, i certainly have a long way to go but its a start. hopefully one day i will get to where you are now, in that not allowing the past [ him ] to interfer in any part of my life.
he is going to be leaving me money i will take half as thats my mums part of the house i am in two minds weather to take his share.
before last sunday then no he could stick it but now i dont know weather to take it and give it my kids? xx

There's a myriad of options. You could give it to your children, you could give an amount to a children's helpline, a women's refuge, any charity helping children and families that are the in the position you were in?

olgadapolga

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

How about donating his body to medical science ?

No funeral then.

The only problem with this is that relatives cannot donate a person's body after death. Only the person themselves can donate their own body and have to sign a consent form (and have it witnessed) before their death.

But, worse than that, the medical schools may decide that the donated body is not "acceptable" and will return the body to the relatives!

See: http://www.hta.gov.uk/bodyorganandtissuedonation/howtodonateyourbody.cfm

mountainofdebt

GobbledyGook wrote: »

mountainofdebt - I've checked into the NOK business. I have all the papers for the grave that my mother and brother are in. To get him buried in it they would have to come through me (I have spoken to the council and had a note put on the lair deeds that they are not to be transferred to anyone else). I'm not in the slightest bit interested in where they do bury him, there's just no way he's going in with them.

Well done girl - to be forewarned is to be forearmed as they say

GobbledyGook wrote: »

family don't want me to organise his funeral - they just seem to think that I should pay for it. They know the kind of funeral they want and everything.

I have no doubt that you will tell them where to get off should they follow that train of thought !