How do i tell my wife im £37k in debt

olivetrees

This will probably be the hardest thing you ever have to do - am thinking of you.

Sending you big mental hugs!

xxx

lonely_2

Tell her but only after you've looked into the options of how you can sort this mess out. I have plenty of debt (more than yours) and I have chosen not to tell my partner until my DMP with Payplan starts. That way he cannot think I want him to sort out my mess. I don't believe in keeping huge secrets from my partner but with this type of situation I really do think it's better to show your partner that you are in control (having worked out the best way to proceed), than just burden her with the problem with no idea of how you are going to sort it out. If she offers to help you out, this is a plus, but you shouldn't assume she will just because you are married - after all it is your debt.

Pinklepurr

Having been on the receiving end of my partner concealing debt, I can tell you that from the other half's point of view it is important to be upfront and honest however painful it may be. My DH's debt was much less, and I only found out about it by accident although when confronted he swore he had been wanting to tell me for ages. From my point of view, I was more hurt that he felt he couldn't tell me about it, than the actual amount involved. Together we made some changes and paid it off, but it took a long time to rebuild the trust. If you have a strong relationship, you can survive this, but you need to learn new habits to avoid falling into the same trap once you manage to sort your current debt out.

Andy_Edinburgh

I second the views of most other posters here; if it were me I'd want to be told on the basis of "the numbers", i.e. a breakdown of how much is owed to whom, for how long, for what, what interest rates, what minimum payments etc.

If you can do that you're on the way to formulating a solution rather than just presenting a problem. Hope it goes well, best wishes to you.

taxi73

good luck and you are doing the right thing

dubgirl

Hi sony-eric, you must tell your wife - it will probably be one of the hardest things you do, but it is better to have her support to get through this and she will support you. My OH was the first person i told about my debt and at the time i thought he would leave but he didnt and together we are working to pay off the debt. Your OH will be your best support and strength.
Good luck.

dubgirl

PS - aside from all the great support you will get from DFW.

LookingAhead

Oh I have just caught this thread!

Oh bless the OP. I've got butterflies thinking about it. He's offline so, I'm assuming he has told her & they are talking about it.

Whatever the outcome/reaction, telling her was the right thing to do and focussing on getting out of debt now becomes a high priority.

I hope we can help you loads further, and very soon OP.

LA xxx

tacklinit

Hi All
Im new today told my wife last week about my debts 44k now, worst was 49k. She has been brilliant and so supportive, she took a deep breath and said "how do we sort this out". I can now sleep at night and we are working to solve the problem

Thanks to all on here for giving me the courage to deal with it.

catz1ct

Good luck!