How do i tell my wife im £37k in debt

sony_eric

i have collected alot of debt over the last few years, but have finially relised the error of my ways.
i am now trying to turn everything round and get on top of it all, but my wife doesnt know.
do i tell her straight away or try and get things in better shape then tell her???

slowlyfading

Honestly, if it was me, I'd want to know. Also, it'll help you in the long run as you can talk about it and she can make cut backs to help you out

adouglasmhor

Tell her straight away, hse may be sympathetic to your plight but I doubt she will be sympathetic to being lied to/deceived or kept in the dark.

immoral_angeluk

I would tell her. Even if she's mad straight away she'll get over it and as they say a problem shared is a problem halved. She's your wife and if you only tell one person it should be her.

sony_eric

i serioully think she would leave me, but i cant cope with the covering up anymore

saffronflowers

Tell her, at least you can tell her the problem but you are coming up with a solution, rather than expecting her to sort it out.

Honesty is the best policy, she may well be angry but she will get over it

SFx

saffronflowers

Remember you married for better and for worse. Please tell her that you are dealing with it, dont expect her to sort it and understand if she is upset, let her blow and dont justify it.

Reiterate what you are doing to sort it out, remember women are very strong

SFx

sony_eric

i feel sick im that worried about it.

*zippy*

Keeping debt a secret is very stressful! If your marriage is strong, she may hit the roof, but as others have said she will calm down and you can pull together and sort this. You may find that she already has an idea something is wrong Eric, I thought I was doing a great job hiding it, but my OH admitted recently he knew I was hiding bills etc.

I don't know your situation with regards sharing finances, but the other thing to think about is if you don't tell her, what reason are you going to give when she wants to book a holiday or go out for meals etc.

zippy x

Aj_eye

I would tell her.....

I know it's going to be hard but you'll see that once its out in the open all the energy you were using to keep it a secret you can use to get yourself out of it.

Honestly, it will make all the difference.... And if she leave's you.....well you'll cross that bridge when you get to it.

This is a real war and you're going to need all your witts about you to beat the financial hordes that try and stop you from clearing your debt... (I noticed that when I started making positive strides towarsd clearing my debt the banks and CC companys got all snooty...be warned) !

Good luck ....

joeblack066

Tell her. Honestly. Then whatever the future holds for you it will be built on Honesty, and that will mean thatyou both sleep easier at night. My first husbands lies (not mainly debt connected) still haunt me 15 yrs later. Good Luck.