How do i tell my wife im £37k in debt

rootoo

Hi Sony- Eric,

I quite agree with everybody else who has posted responses advising that you really need to tell your wife about your debt.

The thing I've found is that debt = shame. And in order to start getting rid of the debt, you need to confront the shame first. I've just done it with a close relative. It wasn't easy, but it has helped me sleep better at night.

However, Martin Lewis listed some great advice elsewhere on the site which i took and I'd recommend you did too. Start by getting your head around the problem, and then draw up a simple plan about what you're going to do. It might be that number one is 'share my problem with the person i love and be honest'. Number 2 might be 'seek advice from a debt advisory charity (such as citizens advice and or Money Saving expert'. Number 3 might be 'draw up a detailed plan together with my wife to minimise any impact on our relationship and begin addressing MY problem with her support'.

In my experience, its always best to let someone know there is a problem having spent a bit of time thinking through what the way forward might be so you can be positive about something.

Best of luck - you can get through it - and this is the really tough bit. Let us all know how you get on.

joeblack066

Good Luck, we'll all be 'virtually' standing there with you as you tell her..there's comfort in numbers! XXHUGXX

sony_eric

just writing down everything, what i owe and why.

dancingfairy

If you post an SOA up we'll see if we can give you suggestions on the bestway forwards for you and where you can cut back.

Good Luck - we're all behind you and you're making a start already. I think one of the hardest things is realising you have a problem and getting started sorting it out- then you'll begin to feel back in control of it again.

gallygirl

I would take Bobbie's advice BEFORE you tell her. Work out exactly how much you owe, a plan of action, when it will be paid off etc. At least that way you can show you are taking responsibility for your debts and not going 'help me I'm in trouble'.

Good luck. There are lots of people on here who've been in th same situation, it usually works itself out in the end.

However she will also, quite rightly, want to know how she can trust you again and what you have spent the money on.

snake-metal-mama

good luck hon

*zippy*

Good luck, we will be thinking of you.

catewithers

good luck - you're definitely doing the right thing.

Sus1e

Good luck !

Skint_Catt

Good luck.

I love my OH to bits and would support him in whatever. I'm influencing him with my DFW ways - but he's not in debt, lol.

Good Luck!

Catt xx