Am I being over sensitive ?

Ellejmorgan

flyonthewall wrote: »

Yes I have always had issues with how she changes the plans for the kids at a drop of a hat, no matter who gets hurt kids or my oh and no matter what we have planned for them and around them, which if i'm honest is why i thought that just this once it would be ok for us to change things slightly

Serious question op, what if she stops contact, would you be prepared to go to court ???

thatgirlsam

flyonthewall wrote: »

Yes I have always had issues with how she changes the plans for the kids at a drop of a hat, no matter who gets hurt kids or my oh and no matter what we have planned for them and around them, which if i'm honest is why i thought that just this once it would be ok for us to change things slightly

What.. if you can't beat 'em join 'em?

You just acknowledged that the kids get hurt. You seriously think it would be ok for you guys to hurt them too... just this once?

lostinrates

shellsuit wrote: »

flyonthewall, I'm with you all the way.

If that means I'm shot down in flames, so be it.

You have been welcoming and accomodating to the children and just this ONCE you want your son to have his room and bed and you're being jumped all over?

MY children come before anyone elses, ALWAYS. Always have and always will!
?!

Maybe thats how her oh, whose home it also is, feels? If so and this attitude is taken one could not blame him for feeling the same.


I am not parent, and i can see how twnse it all is, but while the ex may have been very unfair over two years i cannot i agine being left with two new borns and two others and feeling terribly 'fair'.

flyonthewall_2

pimento wrote: »

I'm with the OP. My biological child would always come before any stepchildren.

Thankyou for your support and I wasn't even trying to put him first as such I was trying to keep all happy by still at least having 2 of oh's children xx

shellsuit

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Shell, you know I love you but thank goodness you don't have any step kids!!

No, I haven't personally, but my 2 eldest are my husbands stepchildren.

The OP's son is her son. If the OPs OH wants to see his own kids that bad and there isn't room because OP's son is home, he could always get a hotel room for them ALL to stay in couldn't he?

I don't know why people are suggesting the OP buy blankets and cots and travel this and that, it's upto the Mother or Father isn't it, or is the OP going to be jumped on by people saying she's too mean to buy those things?

She can't win can she?

Person_one

lostinrates wrote: »

Maybe thats how her oh, whose home it also is, feels? If so and this attitude is taken one could not blame him for feeling the same.


I am not parent, and i can see how twnse it all is, but while the ex may have been very unfair over two years i cannot i agine being left with two new borns and two others and feeling terribly 'fair'.

Good point, the two youngest are both two so either twins or very close together. The OP and her partner have been together long enough to be living together, so the ex must have found herself alone with two tiny children not very long after thinking she was in a relationship that was committed enough to create a life.

Whether she ended the relationship or he did, that's still a horrid position to end up in, maybe a bit of poor behaviour is understandable, if not ideal.

flyonthewall_2

shellsuit wrote: »

flyonthewall, I'm with you all the way.

If that means I'm shot down in flames, so be it.

You have been welcoming and accomodating to the children and just this ONCE you want your son to have his room and bed and you're being jumped all over?

MY children come before anyone elses, ALWAYS. Always have and always will!

2 years old won't know the difference of whether they stay at home or at yours, or if they do at that precise moment, it's not going to have a long lasting effect on them, so don't worry!

I would be peeved too, that your OH would think if his ex's cirsumstances before your own.

I don't know why everyone is against what you have suggested, as I think you have been really fair?!

Oh thankyou so much, I think I love you xx

Person_one

shellsuit wrote: »

I don't know why people are suggesting the OP buy blankets and cots and travel this and that, it's upto the Mother or Father isn't it,

The mother and father aren't here to see our helpful suggestions...

flyonthewall_2

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

No I don't think you get it. The OP has to deal with 4 kids coming into the house, and yet when she wants to do something good for her kid - the only thing the OP's OH is worried about is his ex.

Not his kids, not her kids, not her - but his ex.

Thankyou for understanding xx

Ellejmorgan

shellsuit wrote: »

No, I haven't personally, but my 2 eldest are my husbands stepchildren.

The OP's son is her son. If the OPs OH wants to see his own kids that bad and there isn't room because OP's son is home, he could always get a hotel room for them ALL to stay in couldn't he?

I don't know why people are suggesting the OP buy blankets and cots and travel this and that, it's upto the Mother or Father isn't it, or is the OP going to be jumped on by people saying she's too mean to buy those things?

She can't win can she?

Yes he could find a hotel but due to obvious money issues as stated it would be more savvy financially to buy the blow up beds and blankets this time then if it happens again they are equiped...