Am I being over sensitive ?

thatgirlsam

shellsuit wrote: »

No, I haven't personally, but my 2 eldest are my husbands stepchildren.

The OP's son is her son. If the OPs OH wants to see his own kids that bad and there isn't room because OP's son is home, he could always get a hotel room for them ALL to stay in couldn't he?

I don't know why people are suggesting the OP buy blankets and cots and travel this and that, it's upto the Mother or Father isn't it, or is the OP going to be jumped on by people saying she's too mean to buy those things?

She can't win can she?

Yes I think the Dad should be buying the extra stuff that they need

And I do think that the OP needs to accomodate the extra children

Is your ex with anyone else now? How would you feel if his partner said your kids couldn't stay over because of her own children?

I think I'd be pretty miffed if it was me. I would be expecting my ex to step up and not have his own children excluded

lostinrates

shellsuit wrote: »

No, I haven't personally, but my 2 eldest are my husbands stepchildren.

The OP's son is her son. If the OPs OH wants to see his own kids that bad and there isn't room because OP's son is home, he could always get a hotel room for them ALL to stay in couldn't he?

I don't know why people are suggesting the OP buy blankets and cots and travel this and that, it's upto the Mother or Father isn't it, or is the OP going to be jumped on by people saying she's too mean to buy those things?

She can't win can she?

How could he afford a hotel if they only have 27 pence? Personally speaking if we had an integrated household i really would want it to be integrated properly eventually, the littlies might make atmosphere less tense, easier and less pressure between eldest and oh. Win win, they might all come to love each other a lot with luck.

Ellejmorgan

lostinrates wrote: »

Maybe thats how her oh, whose home it also is, feels? If so and this attitude is taken one could not blame him for feeling the same.


I am not parent, and i can see how twnse it all is, but while the ex may have been very unfair over two years i cannot i agine being left with two new borns and two others and feeling terribly 'fair'.

I'm glad someone said it..:)

flyonthewall_2

thatgirlsam wrote: »

What.. if you can't beat 'em join 'em?

You just acknowledged that the kids get hurt. You seriously think it would be ok for you guys to hurt them too... just this once?

No I seriously really thought that the 2 year olds would not know the difference hence why I insisted we still had the older ones

Errata

Blimey, shove all the kids in the double bed. Son can have his room, parents can sleep in armchairs. Job done!

emsywoo123

OP I did ask how old your son was for a reason :A

If he is an adult, which I assume him to be, perhaps he would be kind enough to "have a bit of a shuffle round" for one night just to keep the status quo for the younger ones?

I know you say "your son-his room" etc but for that one night is it not the other ones' room?

flyonthewall_2

Person_one wrote: »

Good point, the two youngest are both two so either twins or very close together. The OP and her partner have been together long enough to be living together, so the ex must have found herself alone with two tiny children not very long after thinking she was in a relationship that was committed enough to create a life.

Whether she ended the relationship or he did, that's still a horrid position to end up in, maybe a bit of poor behaviour is understandable, if not ideal.

She left him

thatgirlsam

flyonthewall wrote: »

No I seriously really thought that the 2 year olds would not know the difference hence why I insisted we still had the older ones

They might not.. I'm presuming a set of twins? Cute!

Even if they didn't, and personally my 2 year olds would have known. My daughter was talking in sentences by then, she would have asked to go. Or asked where her brother/sister was

Anyway, even if they didn't know the older ones would

Ellejmorgan

flyonthewall wrote: »

No I seriously really thought that the 2 year olds would not know the difference hence why I insisted we still had the older ones

This is why 2 year olds have so many tantrums because they don't understand the world, it's down to us to explain everything and keep their routine firm, when kids don't have routine they can't cope..
Their communication skills are limited..

Anyone ever noticed how their kids play up in the holidays, this is why, the change and lack of routine...

imagine these 2 year old separated it would be really hard on them as they are used to their siblings all together in your home, if not there they won't cope...

carolan78

In all honesty OP in your situation I dont think I would have asked my parnter not to have his children over when he only has them sleep one night a month. I would however be peeved if his ex chopped and changed all over the place to suit herself.

Maybe work out something like you and partner on the sofas for one night so your son has his room or maybe even let the 2 little ones go to sleep on the sofa so son has his room until you go to bed then the little ones can go up to his room and him downstairs.

I would regardless of how you resolve it this weekend be speaking to your partner about his ex's sloppy behaviour and ask him to have a word with her and point out it is no good for his children. Maybe he can suggest having them sleep over more often again rather than having them Saturdays for them to return home. She would have more opportunity to have a social life of her own if the children were at yours every other Saturday over night.

I really can not understand why Mums deny the father decent access when there is no concern for the children's welfare