Self Respect vs Responsibility

POPPYOSCAR

notakid wrote: »

No it wasn't your comment, it has been said from the beginning of the thread with one person saying the sl@ppers being picked up in the cars!

You wouldn't have those thoughts or comments if it was boys. I thought there were some harsh comments regarding what it boils down too a group of children dressing up. I just think that as women we have a lot of self hate sometimes and we judge ourselves much more harshly than men and because of this how are we ever going to stop being seen as objects rather than just people.

My apologies.

But surely by girls feeling they have to dress up so much to be seen as attractive makes them 'objects' rather than just people?

Person_one

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

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My apologies.

But surely by girls feeling they have to dress up so much to be seen as attractive makes them 'objects' rather than just people?

The pressure on girls to be as attractive as humanly possible at all times is definitely a massive problem.

notakid

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

[/B]



My apologies.

But surely by girls feeling they have to dress up so much to be seen as attractive makes them 'objects' rather than just people?

Good point and I hate the whole WAG/TOWIE thing myself. Women who see their self worth within their appearance, but its not far of from some of the comments on here, that a women should protect herself by covering up. It seems a bit twisted to me. Clothes do not make the man!

Sometimes its just innocent, wanting to look your best, esp when young, take my daughter she always wants to buy bras that show her to the best advantage.:p Its not that she wants to impress boys but between her and her friends she has the edge of the chest area. She's not buying the bra to impress boys she is buying it to impress her friends and make herself feel good.

When we are young esp, its all new. Sometimes we just want to show off.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

What behaviour worried him?

I don't think enjoying sex, having a few drinks, enjoying independence etc. as a student is indicative of a lack of self respect. You never hear it claimed that boys and men who indulge in those behaviours have low self esteem!

I don't think enjoying sex has ever woried him. . He considers it manditory in a partner. Thank goodness. And yes, i would perhaps think that men have low self esteem and express it sexually and behaviourally and mostcertainly in attitude to seelf and others, which is what struck dh. I actually think in someways ypung men have it harder than young women in that resoect, as a certain behaviour seems expected as normal for them, as your post indicates.

Person_one

lostinrates wrote: »

I don't think enjoying sex has ever woried him. . He considers it manditory in a partner. Thank goodness. And yes, i would perhaps think that men have low self esteem and express it sexually and behaviourally and mostcertainly in attitude to seelf and others, which is what struck dh. I actually think in someways ypung men have it harder than young women in that resoect, as a certain behaviour seems expected as normal for them, as your post indicates.

Could you be more specific as to which exact behaviours he found to be problematic?

notakid

Saying all this I am a bit of a hypocrite:o

We were in Covent Garden the other weekend, early evening and walking around my daughter saw a sign advertising young models available on first floor...

That's strange she says wouldn't it be better for them to advertise on the net? I can't see them getting much modelling work from that card....

I explained that they weren't really models.:p

We then spied two women out on the town, dressed in those very short bandage dresses. Very high heels. They stuck out between all the tourists in their walking books and plastic macs.

Maybe those models have gone out for a drink my daughter said......:o

So I have say I make judgements too, I should know better.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Could you be more specific as to which exact behaviours he found to be problematic?

Nope. Because i am not spoiling for a fight. Sorry!

Person_one

lostinrates wrote: »

Nope. Because i am not spoiling for a fight. Sorry!

Not even a discussion?

You're going to appear, make vague derogatory statements about the behaviour of all young British women, refuse to clarify or back them up and disappear again?

Wickedkitten

skintchick wrote: »

There's a lot I could say on this subject and I might yet do so when I am not in bed recovering but I feel the need to at least say this:

Rape happens because rapists rape.

What women do, say, drink or wear is irrelevant.

Exactly, rape isn't about what you are wearing, its about control.

BugglyB

As regards the comparison between property and theft: I think that is problematical. Whereas it is common sense and and follows logically that if you leave valuables on show in your car they are more likely to be stolen, I dont believe it to be the case that if you show off your physical assets you are more likely to be sexually assaulted. Its not as clear cut as that.