Self Respect vs Responsibility

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

I agree, but if you put yourself in harms way by walking down the towpath late at night drunk and dressed in skimpy clothing do you not increase the risk. Never minds stats, common sense would say it is unwise.

Never mind stats? Seriously?

BugglyB

Poet123 - no-one should be walking down the towpath drunk on their own late at night, no matter male or female or how they're dressed. Thats the common sense part of it. Clothes don't really come into it. Mr rapist isn't sitting there on the embankment thinking, 'shes got a long skirt on, won't mess with her', is he?

Dunroamin

poet123 wrote: »

I agree, but if you put yourself in harms way by walking down the towpath late at night drunk and dressed in skimpy clothing do you not increase the risk. Never minds stats, common sense would say it is unwise.

I'll give you the tow path and drunk. Wearing clothes you could run or fight in might actually be a help.

lostinrates

BugglyB wrote: »

Poet123 - no-one should be walking down the towpath drunk on their own late at night, no matter male or female or how they're dressed. Thats the common sense part of it. Clothes don't really come into it. Mr rapist isn't sitting there on the embankment thinking, 'shes got a long skirt on, won't mess with her', is he?

I agre with this. But i think there is a different more relevant type of sexual assualt which while i accept might also be about power does seem to develope from a different set of circumstance. This is not the rapist at a towpath but the one of the type of man who commits the rape we are told rightly i believe to be more frequently. Ime i feel that sex was relevant, at least as relevent as power. (i also think drink is often relevant here).

I would not say nevermind statistics myself, but i will say when i have been in that position i do jot equate wholly with the position argued against my clothing and behaviour having been relevant, not responsible but not helpful.

While its certainly right that women should never be blamed the argument that personal repsonsibility for how we present ourselves ( not just clothes ) is 'dangerous' makes me uncomfortable, because i feel saying it doesn't matter might be equally dangerous, for some girls. Not the girl on the towpath.

aliasojo

Dunroamin wrote: »

Rape has nothing to do with physical attractiveness. In fact, rape has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with power.

I accept that and agree.

However......explain to me why the middle aged woman was not looked at twice, nor was the girl who looked as if she was slightly older than me but who was dressed in a parka and jeans even given a second glance?

I was an easy target in the mind of the driver. As said earlier, he shouted that I was asking for it.

Explain to me what else distinguished me from the others if not the way I was dressed?

hazellc

poet123 wrote: »

I agree, but if you put yourself in harms way by walking down the towpath late at night drunk and dressed in skimpy clothing do you not increase the risk. Never minds stats, common sense would say it is unwise.

No. You put yourself at risk of all sorts things like tripping and being mugged, which is much more often an opportunistic crime perpetuated on the temporarily vulnerable, but the thing you do that night that puts you most at risk of rape? Arriving home to your male partner. Most women are raped by men they know and trust.

poet123

Dunroamin wrote: »

I'll give you the tow path and drunk. Wearing clothes you could run or fight in might actually be a help.

With four inch heels and a tight skirt?

And many would argue that being drunk or in a remote place should be something we should all be able to do, and again I would agree, but reality dictates otherwise.

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

Never mind stats? Seriously?

Because, as you said previously, the reported cases are only the tip of the iceberg.

kno

poet123 wrote: »

I agree, but if you put yourself in harms way by walking down the towpath late at night drunk and dressed in skimpy clothing do you not increase the risk. Never minds stats, common sense would say it is unwise.

So you are not a Feminist then? Women somehow make out they want to be raped or their rape can be justified due to their clothing choices.

aliasojo

Person_one wrote: »

Sorry to keep repeating myself, but the problem with this is that revealing clothing does not increase your chance of being raped! Please, have a look at the Rape Crisis site I posted earlier. Its a complete myth and teaching myths to our daughters does them a huge disservice, its not sensible at all.

The only 'issues towards them' that will be caused by their clothing is judgemental attitudes, it doesn't put them at any increased physical risk.

I find it quite disturbing how fixated you are with 'stats' and 'myths'.

Not everything in life follows a neat, regimented path.