Self Respect vs Responsibility

poet123

kno wrote: »

Sexual Assault is more likely to be done by someone known to the victim, rather than because the Woman is wearing a short skirt in a club.

I refuse to engage conversation in someone that doesn't look at the facts and has an extremely dated opinion on Womens rights.

It is an opinion that as a women I am entitled to hold and express though isn't it? Dated or not.;)

lostinrates

BugglyB wrote: »

Well, I do have some idea of what goes unreported to the police. Again I'm obviously not going to go too much into what I do.

I can think of a few situations which might lead you to be in this position (fp clinics, support situations amoung them), and i can also think back to how they might not be truely indicative but how they must be truely stressful and va,uable work.

preciousillusions

Person_one wrote: »

A great place to start would be teaching boys that they need to respect the girls no matter what they wear and that they don't have any rights over other people's bodies, in any circumstances.

Too much of this type of debate focuses completely on the behaviour of girls and women, as if men and boys are just unstoppable forces of nature that we all need to guard against, like not buying a house on a flood plain!

This is one of my favourite things at the moment:

Def agree. I posted this up on my twitter. There is so much victim blaming in society and it makes me sick. "don't wear a short skirt out after a certain time" or "don't travel on public transport alone" urmmm how about "guys don't think just because a girl is in a short skirt and/or travelling alone at night that you have permission to assault her. It's all so wrong.

poet123

preciousillusions wrote: »

Def agree. I posted this up on my twitter. There is so much victim blaming in society and it makes me sick. "don't wear a short skirt out after a certain time" or "don't travel on public transport alone" urmmm how about "guys don't think just because a girl is in a short skirt and/or travelling alone at night that you have permission to assault her. It's all so wrong.

I absolutely agree with this sentiment, but is it currently reality?

suki1001

Surely - actually the correlation between clothing and rapists are irrelevant. A rapist is a rapist and a child abuser is a child abuser, it's nothing as superficial as the clothing and that's perhaps because people make assumptions, it's not the rapist or the abuser who makes the assumptions, it's the speculator who makes them and says, she was dressed in x,y,z and therefore she was asking for it.

Rape is nothing to do with what clothing someone wears.

BugglyB

I suppose what I'm getting at is that drinking too much is inherently risky - to your health, your personal safety, your ability to make choices. Walking home alone makes you vulnerable (as does getting a cab for that matter!). But I dont see how going out in skimpy clothes is an inherently risky thing - say you meet up with friends, go out with friends, drink sensibly, dad picks you up - should we be telling our young girls they're making themselves a target just by how they dress?

It might make people think differently of you, but thats a lesson we all learn as life goes on isnt it!

Mojisola

preciousillusions wrote: »

There is so much victim blaming in society and it makes me sick. "don't wear a short skirt out after a certain time" or "don't travel on public transport alone" urmmm how about "guys don't think just because a girl is in a short skirt and/or travelling alone at night that you have permission to assault her. It's all so wrong.

I don't think many people do think like this any more.

lostinrates

suki1001 wrote: »

Surely - actually the correlation between clothing and rapists are irrelevant. A rapist is a rapist and a child abuser is a child abuser, .

actually, i think this attitude itself, meant to be encouaraging, and a right attitude, but can be daunting, putting off reporting some of these crimes. While what you say is true the person who assaulted you is not just a rapist but dave the nice guy in the office, or your friends brother, or the guy you did fancy and had made clear you did...or whatever, the assaults at the opposite end of the towpath scenario can seem difficult, somehow, lesser than they are and more damaging to report ( to the victim). Rapists can be our brothers and fathers and friends, not just unknown bogeymen by towpaths, and while we make them the black of he black the victims may be likely to be believed easily.

lostinrates

BugglyB wrote: »

I suppose what I'm getting at is that drinking too much is inherently risky - to your health, your personal safety, your ability to make choices. Walking home alone makes you vulnerable (as does getting a cab for that matter!). But I dont see how going out in skimpy clothes is an inherently risky thing - say you meet up with friends, go out with friends, drink sensibly, dad picks you up - should we be telling our young girls they're making themselves a target just by how they dress?

It might make people think differently of you, but thats a lesson we all learn as life goes on isnt it!

Well, it depends on the people. If its the guy who pushes too far befor e accepting the no, and makes a girl uncomfortablethen i would say it were relevant in a secual assualt in that case. An excuse though? Not at all.

kno

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't think many people do think like this any more.

Erm someone on here made an unfounded link between clothing and risk of sexual assault. Sadly such thinking does exist.