Self Respect vs Responsibility

poet123

kno wrote: »

So you are not a Feminist then? Women somehow make out they want to be raped or their rape can be justified due to their clothing choices.

I have never said that and I refuse to debate with someone who doesn't read what is written. No, means no, whatever, wherever, but it is common sense to avoid risky situations if at all possible.

Mojisola

Person_one wrote: »

I think Buggly's point was that its ok to be sending the message "I'm looking for a partner for a consensual sexual relationship", that's natural, its how we get more humans, but its not the same as "Please feel free to have sex with me even if I say I don't want to."

But that's how it's sometimes interpreted because the visual message comes over more loudly than the words.

There's a big spectrum between just having a good time and forced sexual intercourse. It isn't a case of being fine or being raped. There are plenty of unpleasant contacts that can spoil an evening, scare or upset a young woman who is unintentionally giving out a message that she will welcome sexual attention.

If you're aware of how you're looking and behaving may be interpreted by other people, you're in a much better position to stay safe because you'll be looking out for inappropriate behaviour and ready to put a stop to it in the early stages. It's also why it's important for young women to make sure they stay together and keep an eye on each other. A predator always separates the victim from the group before attacking.

BugglyB

The unreported rapes aren't likely to be the towpath ones. They're likely to be the 'very sensibly accepted a lift home from co-worker' ones.

BugglyB

That sort of safety advice is very sensible for both men and women or boys and girls

dont drink more than you can handle
stay with your friends
dont walk home alone
etc.

lostinrates

Mojisola wrote: »

But that's how it's sometimes interpreted because the visual message comes over more loudly than the words.

There's a big spectrum between just having a good time and forced sexual intercourse. It isn't a case of being fine or being raped. There are plenty of unpleasant contacts that can spoil an evening, scare or upset a young woman who is unintentionally giving out a message that she will welcome sexual attention.
.

This resonates strongly for me.

kno

poet123 wrote: »

I have never said that and I refuse to debate with someone who doesn't read what is written. No, means no, whatever, wherever, but it is common sense to avoid risky situations if at all possible.

Sexual Assault is more likely to be done by someone known to the victim, rather than because the Woman is wearing a short skirt in a club.

I refuse to engage conversation in someone that doesn't look at the facts and has an extremely dated opinion on Womens rights.

lostinrates

BugglyB wrote: »

The unreported rapes aren't likely to be the towpath ones. They're likely to be the 'very sensibly accepted a lift home from co-worker' ones.

Or the scenario mojisola describes? I know of plenty of these that girls have not rported. Ypu cannot really o what is UNreported very accurately, but in my experience, wrongly, these have not been.

poet123

BugglyB wrote: »

The unreported rapes aren't likely to be the towpath ones. They're likely to be the 'very sensibly accepted a lift home from co-worker' ones.

The towpath was one end of the spectrum there are a lot of situations in between, walking home alone, late night bus etc etc. Who knows how the unreported rapes stack up?

BugglyB

Kno I think you're kind of seeing this a bit black and white really. Poet123 is clearly not saying women encourage rape or sexual assault.

BugglyB

Well, I do have some idea of what goes unreported to the police. Again I'm obviously not going to go too much into what I do.